I love fashion. I love getting dressed up. I love my style, my curves, my scent – but it’s for me. Not for strangers, not for likes, not for guys who assume I’m interested just because I don’t look “plain.”
I’ve stopped apologizing for feeling good when I look good. And yet, I still see people reducing women to just their appearance whenever we dress in a way that feels empowering to us.
Why is it that female attractiveness always has to be seen as an “invitation”?
Can’t we just be pretty without it meaning something to someone else?
Do you ever experience this? How do you handle it? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
Comments
Certain men (and sometimes other women) don’t believe that some women dress for themselves.
I maintain that even if I were the last person on Earth, I would still dress the way I want to dress because I like how I look that way and that’s what matters. However, convincing the doubters of that fact has never been easy.
You’re an outlier; Most dress to impress the opposite sex.
It’s not just “female attractiveness” that counts as an Invitation it’s both Male and female attractiveness. I dress in skinny jeans and a crop top/belly shirt with rose glasses because I like the style; also get hit on by lotta Men and some Women cuz of it.
If someone approaches you with obvious intent just decline them or say you’re an Asexual even if you aren’t.
When I went out more often I experienced this. I think it depends on where you are and who is around you. If I’m getting dressed up to go to a movie by myself the number of people approaching me was close to nil. If I wanted to go dancing by myself and dressed up for the club I got hit on more.
I personally ignored anything non-verbal. I just pretended not to notice. Some guys get the hint. If someone approached and talked to me, I would just say “no thank you” with a big smile because you never know how someone will take rejection.
I think for me just walking knowing I was doing it for myself was kind of enough? You think you look cute and you catch your reflection in windows and think “heck yes” or move a certain way and your dress flows around you satisfyingly…
I mostly used to dress up to go swing dancing and that was an incredibly safe environment where people knew not to cross boundaries so I could feel totally delighted with myself and accept the occasional compliment without feeling gross.
All his.
Everyone dresses the way they want; it is not an INVITATION; it is your style!
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This is a fantastic take. Men want you to hear their compliment. Emphasis on “their;” because they just want you to look at them
I also love to get dressed up, and it is just for me too. My favorite thing is when I hang out with my friends and we all get dressed up. It just adds color and fun to life. The process of getting dressed up is genuinely an act of self love. The attention to detail right down to the accessories. I can’t help it that I’m beautiful and I have a sense of style that stands out, so I also hate the unnecessary catcalls and leering. It’s okay to glance, keep your thoughts to yourself, but the moment it crosses a line, it pisses me off.