My dad asked me to do something on his computer and when I opened it I found messages of my dad sexting another woman. Some texts suggest that he has met with her before. I have younger sibling and we both still live with my parents. We are going on a vacation in two days and I dont know what to do. Can anyone give advice on what should do?
Just found my dad sexting another woman. What should I do?
r/Advice
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Try to stay calm for the vacation. After, talk to a trusted adult about what you found. Don’t handle it alone.
That’s a betrayal bomb you weren’t meant to find but now it’s yours to carry. Confront him calmly before the trip if you can’t fake peace because swallowing the truth will poison every moment after.
In my experience, securing an evidence is a must. I talked to my mom directly because I was trying to give her a chance to put up a good fight against my dad if that makes sense? and this is obviously a family matter so talking to other people might make it worst.
But honestly it depends on your mom’s personality and situation? If she can handle it why not talk to her directly but if she cant, i think your grandparents (mom’s side) are the ideal people to talk to for starters
Your mom deserves to know. After the vacation, tell her and show her the proof privately. My ex-husband cheated on me and someone let me know and I’m forever grateful he told me.
I would offer that you have the option of doing nothing. I don’t know how old you are but children aren’t responsible for their parents’ emotions or problems. You don’t need to feel that you have to take on adult burdens like confronting a parent over an affair.
If there is a safe and trusted adult you can talk to you can share the burden of what you saw with them but only to alleviate the stress it is causing you, not to try and arrange some way of confronting your father or informing your mother.
You deserve to have a childhood without taking on issues between parents.
Personally – I would let Him know immediately that You know … and assure Him you won’t speak of it to anyone. And offer to be helpful
Stay calm about this through the vacation. This is an issue, but not a time sensitive one. After it’s over, you can consider your options.
If you can get proof then that would be a big plus (like take photos of the texts). If you tell your mom, she might be apt to not believe you because it’s a big accusation. You could just say that you saw the texts and just hold off on showing the proof. If she’s smart, she would try to get the evidence herself. But if she confronts him first and he lies about it and is able to keep her out of his texts, he might delete the evidence and then there’s no proof.
If you choose to go to another adult, I wouldn’t go to anyone who might go to your dad right after you talk to them. If it’s a family member, try to stay on your mom’s side if possible.