The last year has tested me. My husband of 30 years told me he did not love me that his life is happier without me in it.
I come from a childhood of emotional and physical abuse. I’ve suffered from PTSD my entire life.
Since May of last year, I have struggled emotionally. My husband gave me the most devastating blow because of my past trauma my worst fear has always been that one day he would leave me.
Getting through the day is hard. I have felt so alone and unwanted.
My mother has been going through her own big life issues and I dropped everything and spent a few days helping her with everything I could to make her life easier.
She decided after almost 50 years to tell me that I was never wanted I suspect that she may have intentionally gotten pregnant with me to make sure my father stuck around. She informed me that when she told him she was pregnant he disappeared in the middle of the night. She didn’t know where he had gone and never heard from him he showed up again around a year later when I was six months old because he had nowhere else to go. She made sure to tell me that he didn’t want me and that being pregnant with me made her life so difficult that having me made her life hell.
I’m now struggling I now know that from the moment of conception, I was never wanted. There is never been a moment in my life that someone was happy that I was alive that I was in their life.
Comments
I’m happy that you’re in my life, to have this engaging read pop up as soon as I opened Reddit because I desperately needed to distract myself from my thoughts.
Same.
♥️
That’s only 3 people out of billions on this planet who don’t want you. It might hurt right now, but you need to start living your life for yourself. Your biggest fear was your husband not wanting you? When you start turning your life into something fantastic, his biggest reaction will be regret for leaving. You have no one holding you back now. Go on that trip you always wanted to. Go to a painting night, try a dance class, try cooking classes, heck, go sit at the park reading that book you never had time to. For your mom,she never wanted you,then stop showing up. When she needs help with the doctors appt, I hear Uber is available almost everywhere. When she needs financial assistance, give her the number for social services. Most importantly, start loving yourself💞
Three people may have told you they don’t want you.
Im sorry they put you through that.
But three people do not define you.
You are worthy of life. You are worthy of love. You are enough. You are your own person and deserve happiness. Find happiness within yourself and not based on others’ opinions. Every day make one small effort to find a little joy. Whatever that may be for you, but as long as it’s for you. All of those small actions will build up and show you that you do matter and you can create happiness for yourself.
Just in case nobody else says it, fuck those guys.
Go live your life for you.
Seems like more of a reflection on those people being cruel, miserable, and insecure than anything having to do with you. Eff those people. Let your mom handle her own problems and let your husband fuck off to whatever it is he’s doing. Put yourself first and prioritize doing things that bring you joy and peace.