I’m in an airport for a short layover. I got a takeout order of a regional dish I wanted to try and I was going to eat it on the plane. There was a little delay so I just ate it sitting outside the gate. This older guy that was sitting next to me was watching me eat (weird) and then said “That’s a lot of food! How are you going to eat all of that?” and while I was annoyed and taken aback, I just said “Well, I’m hungry and I paid for it”. He just kept how much food it was and how he couldn’t eat all it. I nodded and decided to not say anything else.
But that was just an odd interaction. I don’t know him and we were not talking before. My takeout container did not have an obscene amount of food (and if it did, so what?!). It was the first thing I ate since 5:30PM the night before and it was 6AM, and I know I don’t have to justify it at all, but that just pisses me off.
And in fact, I was planning on saving some for later in the flight, but out of principle, I finished that whole plate while he was watching.
Comments
God forbid a woman… Checks notes* …eats?
What a weirdo.
I swear our society would be improved if we normalized using squirt guns to curb rude behavior.
Having grown up with brothers, though, you just know they’d be taken away and used with impunity for no reason at all.
I hope you looked him right in the eye while you finished it
“You’re right, it’s too much food.”
Proceed to puke on his shoes.
Random guy thought he had the right to press his opinions on you about acceptable or expected portion size for women.
He can fuck right off.
“That’s bc you’re old and old people don’t eat enough.” Also “Stupid people never know how much they should be eating.”
I had an old man classmate in college who commented every Friday on my lunch size during an archeological field class where we dug in an actual site on Friday. And I would tell him to STFU and keep his comments to himself every time. He ended up digging in his excavation pit alone since he would say out of pocket stuff all the time, like calling these three Mexican girls the “tres brujas.”
I’d match that energy right back at him and tell him that’s a lot of words/caffeine/walking for an old person!
Funnily enough I had an old man comment on my food portions on my plate behind me at the buffet yesterday “yeah, I always take too much food at the beginning so there’s no room on my plate for the good stuff at the end”. Rolls eyes. “Vegetarian, these first two trays are the only things I can eat and I’ve been working for 12 hours and I’m still not done”.
This is why I wear earphones whenever I’m out in public.
I’ve had the same thing happen, some dude making comments apropos of nothing about what I was eating. I happened to be noticeably taller than him, so I said if he ate bigger portions he might be as tall as I am someday. He got real shitty and I was just like “two can play the asshole game, old man” and walked away.
Apparently, this is yet another thing men do to women. I’ve had several experiences where men have commented on how much food I ordered. One time when I was fresh out of college and could barely afford rent, I had a work meeting at one of the nicest restaurants in town. Cool! Free food, as I could expense it. I ordered the pasta primavera, knowing that I could feast on the leftovers for days, and it was my only meal of the day. Of course, one of the old farts I was meeting with had to ask ArE YOu GoiNG to EaT ALl THaT in front of all the other old businessmen we were meeting with. I think its both lack of any empathy and a power play.
If a man does that ask him if he’s begging for your food. There’s no other reason for him to be interested. The notion that he can’t afford to pay for his own and he must therefore be begging for a share of yours will shut him up.
“Can you please mind your own business? You’re being very rude.” Some people need to be called out.
“You don’t remember how to eat? Where’s your caretaker?”
The airport is the best place to pretend that you don’t speak English.
Normalize meeting rude with rude.
Older men think their input is a lot more valuable than it is. I’ve noticed they have a particular entitlement towards policing the behavior of strangers in public.
I didn’t look at the subreddit name before reading and I was picturing the whole mental movie as a male telling this story of a batshit weirdo dude watching OP eat and not shutting up about it. That it makes SO much difference it really telling. Men don’t talk to each other like that. Too much internalized homophobia. High probability of getting punched in the face. I’m sorry you have to deal with that bs.
One time I was setting up a charcuterie board and this guy I was with was like are u going to eat all that?? Like offended I was going to eat. And I was like well no it’s for the both of us but like what the hell? What if I were?
Anyway triggered my eating disorder and I’ve been battling those thoughts for months. Thanks Mark 🙃
“Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t know that you were the food police. Would you mind showing me your badge, please?”
But yeah, infuriating. NOBODY asked you so just hush.
“That’s a lot of food! How are you going to eat all of that?”
“Why do you care?”
Because..blah blah
Why do YOU care?
Keep repeating the Q and turn the focus on him instead of answering the Q.
Do a reverse card on his pathetic attempt to make you feel uncomfortable.
My mom and I ordered take out once and we ordered a ton of food lol.
The take out counter guy commented this was too much food for two women.
We were like “ do you want this money or no, because we can go somewhere else “.
We never went back obviously
“Oh, the tapeworm helps… I just hope whoever has the aisle seat doesn’t mind getting interrupted repeatedly.”
That was so rude… when I was a kid I asked my brother who had always been teased for being fat (he was overweight but not *that* overweight) “how can you eat so much?” I could see it affected him. That was the last time I made a comment like that. I was just a kid yet I managed to stop being a rude little creep (at least along that line)… That older guy that spoke to the OP? What a douchenozzle.
i would have eaten all of it AND the container it came in and never broken eye contact. i’m sorry that happened to you.
When ppl make rude comments like this, I like to ask them why they feel the need to make such a comment. What did they hope to achieve by making it?
Reflection is a good thing
“Do you want to know the thing I like the most about your opinion? I don’t give a fuck about it. Have a nice day.”
Years ago I was working in a grocery store and I was replacing a display of chips. An old (and very smelly) man walked past me while I was pushing the cart full of chips and he told me that if I ate like that then he wouldn’t love me anymore. He thought his little joke was so funny.
I looked at him with no expression, and replied, “Promise?” He did not think my little joke was funny.
Channel your inner Miss Manners and just say “what a rude thing to say.”
If it’s in the workplace, drop a note to HR suggesting that the annual anti-harassment training start including a warning against commenting on what people eat. (Yes, he did, yes. I did, No. Nothing changed.)
Hit them back
Ah well, I’m young and healthy. It’s a shame you old people lose your ability to eat a nice healthy portion and enjoy your food. Must be tough being old.
If he says any more, then just keep saying
it’s a shame, poor old fellow
Has this idiot never eaten out before? Especially in an airport I mean you have a limited amount of time and no idea what their portion size is, not that it matters it’s none of his business.
When I was 11, I ended up hospitalized for 6 months due to suicidal ideation and anorexia. I was 30 lbs underweight and on the verge of getting a feeding tube down my nose before I even started to recover. When I finally started to eat again, my dad took me out for ice cream. I was so weak that I sat at the table while he fixed my sundae. I had just started to eat it, and dad was away fixing his, when the older waiter brought our drinks to the table. This asshole looked at a half-starved kid and commented, in what felt a rather creepy way, “Well aren’t you just a tiny little thing! You won’t stay that way if you eat all of that ice cream, though!”
Of course, he ruined my sense of safety and the calm my dad had been building with me. I sat my spoon on the table and shut down. My dad apparently overheard as he was on his way to the table. My always calm and soft-spoken father was LIVID!!
This has happened to me a bunch of times. Younger men too.
Like have y’all met a woman in real life?
Ignore them. Literally just pretend you didn’t hear anything. Don’t look at them, don’t talk to them, pretend you have no idea they exist. Or better yet, look them directly in the eye and don’t say anything. Then go back to eating.
Every part of your body is assigned to an agent to police
What is it with old men? They’ll walk up and just start talking at you. Making comments apropos of nothing. It happens to me every time I go to the grocery store.
This is the type of situation in which the gen z stare is appropriate
I’ve found that so many men cannot help but say some stupid, idiotic, inane, clueless, and inappropriate shit because some are apparently unable to keep their pie hole closed when encountering a situation that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO with them.
Just 2 days ago at work I was watering plants (I work at a nursery) and some old man walked by and INSTRUCTED me to “not get my shoes wet”. I’ve had men stop my 6yo daughter in the store and chastise her for wearing a Halloween shirt in December. Those are just 2 incidents out of SO FREAKING MANY I cannot possibly remember them all.
The male audacity is out of control.
Tell him to “fucking mind his own business.”
Our African American sisters with their wisdom and knowledge taught me this amazing comeback that deflects this like a magic charm. “My grandmother lived to be 102- BY MINDING HER OWN DAMN BUSINESS.” I beg you all to take this one with you. It really works.
Ah, gotta love existing as a woman when even your food choices and portion sizes are judged by random people.
I had that happen once after a week of a stomach bug and literally subsisting on protein shakes and dude was literally angry over me eating a whole sub sandwich with a bag of chips and a soda.
I’m a recovered anorexic and bulimic but I’m still very sensitive to comments like this. I’m a healthy weight now but still a petite and slim woman. These comments don’t happen very often but enough times (always from older men) for me to have a standard response to it.
“I’m actually recovering from a life threatening eating disorder and comments like that are extremely triggering for me.”
I used to just laugh them off and try and justify my very normal sized portion sizes but then I realized these are complete strangers and they are the ones who should be embarrassed by their comments, not me.
Are you sure that wasn’t my mother?
I once had a guy comment on how fast I was eating my burger. It was too fast for him, apparently. I called him out and he doubled down. I’m fing hungry buddy, leave me alone to eat my lunch. The best part? He then proceeded to ask me out.
I get comments on my portion size from men and family members all the time. I feel like it comes with being a woman.
It’s insanely annoying.
Never defend yourself. Always go on the offensive by making it a them problem.
“Sedentary people don’t require as many calories as active, healthy people. If your body can’t handle a meal this size, I recommend less couch, more exercise.”
Remember, you always say the insulting part just a touch more slowly, with clear enunciation, and good volume. Anyone listening needs to hear your response to elicit the humiliating chuckles that are the gravy to your dish.
I was out at my regular bar with my husband having a personal pizza and a beer. We’re friendly with pretty well everyone there, and lots of other regulars stopped to say hi and chat.
A boomer came out of the VLT room before before our food came and we made eye contact. So I raised my beer as he passed by and said “cheers”. He just did the same and made his way to the bar.
Our food came and we tucked in. The boomer then was passing by our table when he stopped and said “Woa, you’re gonna eat that whole pizza?!” Pointing to my 10-inch personal pizza.
I said “Yep! Probably!”
“That’s way too much food.”
My husband decided it was his turn. He straightened up and said “you need to fuck off.”
Very unimpressive words, but my husband is an impressive human built like a brick shit house linebacker.
The boomer paled and skittered away to the VLT room. When our server came back (we’ve known her for years), he mentioned the AH boomer. She cut him off after that and he had a little fit before sulking out of the bar.
“You wouldn’t be able to eat all this? Sounds like a skill issue.”
My ex’s dad would ALWAYS comment on how much food I ate
“What a weird thing to talk to a stranger about”
I’ve definitely had men comment on my portion sizes. I used the opportunity to finish what I was eating and then imply that he was inferior to me because I could finish it and he could not lol.
I usually go for weird humour. “Yeah, well, gotta feed that tapeworm!”
Things start to make sense when you remember that many of these men do not see women as human like they are, to them, women exist for men and every action a woman does is for men.
When he saw you eating a larger portion then he could eat, he thought you did that to emasculate him and he went straight to defensive mode.
“What, are you hoping to fish my leftovers out of the trash when I’m too ashamed to finish?”
How are you going to eat all of that?
Oh by shoveling it into my mouth. You should try it sometime. Might have less space for those questions of yours.
Get your plate girl!
Was this my dad?!?!! Haha, he says that shit every time we eat. “Oh wow, that’s a lot of food? You gonna eat all that?” I eat all of it and then it’s followed by, “damn, you must have been hungry. That was a lot of food!” It pisses me off. He says it to my husband too. We are both normal sized people. He does it to everyone. I think it is just word vomit and he is just trying to engage, but also he definitely contributed to my eating disorders in high school. So when he says this shit, I’m never nice about it, and yet, he still does it. But like other boomers, he inappropriately comments on everything. No filter.
Im so glad you shared this story and sparked this discussion, it’s really insane how entitled strange men can be to comment on our bodies.
I have a hard time eating when I’m stressed or anxious and the last 6 months since the inauguration have been so stressful. I’ve had so many strangers comment on me not finishing my meals, boxing up food at restaurants, I must be trying to diet etc etc like how about you all mind your own business, damn
When my eating was very disordered, I would go days without eating and then binge several thousand calories due to the prolonged fasting. Extremely unhealthy, do not recommend.
Point is, how does he know when the last time you ate was? He doesn’t. I was at various sizes during my ED, so that doesn’t give it away.
Was at a meeting with 2 older men my boss and his second in command. Went to lunch during mid day break as a group. All ordered same large burger. All ate entire burger. Boss says to me, the only female, “wow that was a huge burger you ate it all.” I looked at him and said “yes we all did wasn’t it delicious?” So glad when he retired he was a grade a a**hole.
I have been the recipient of entitled male comments quite a few times, but it always blows my mind how socially inept it is.
I had an older dude leave his table at a restaurant and come over to my table, interrupting my friend and I, to comment that he had been watching me eat and wondered if I was going to “finish all that.” Gee thanks for that totally normal interaction, buddy.
I once was exiting a bulk-buy store (Costco) and had an older woman make a comment. We were both pushing carts piled with supplies (I was buying for a 14 person, 4 day weekend), and she called out “How is a slim girl like you going to eat all that?” Like ma’am, do you not see you also have a very full cart? Do you know how people work?
It is completely bizarre; people really need to comment on what others eat. I think it was normalized in a certain generation as bonding. Sad in a way.
Ah, he was a man and he wished to give you the kindly advantage of his mansplaining.
In other words, none of his fecking business.
I feel like we let this sort of thing slide too often, because it’s uncomfortable to respond appropriately. But why should that burden always fall on us?
I’d respond with something simple and clear: “What a rude thing to say.” Then just look at him. Let him be the uncomfortable one for once. Will he get defensive about it? Fine. Then he’s the one on defense, not you. It’s not your responsibility to apologize for your food.
This happened to me a few months ago, I was eating a burrito before my bartending shift so that I had some food in my stomach and this older couple was walking by. They kept making eye contact while I was eating which was already really uncomfortable and then as they were passing by me, the man said “now that looks healthy!” Sarcastically and the lady just laughed. I think about it all the time bc it made me feel terrible but also I was just doing my best lol. I’m convinced that the older you get the less your filter works. Sorry that happened! He sucks.
If some guy comment on my portion sizes, just smile and say I need to replenish after all the blood I lost while on my periods.
Bleeds like a pig eat like a pig.
If they retort something I just go to you said something rude , I answer with something rude.
Ive dealt with this with so many men in my life. At 12 i developed disordered eating because my mom’s boyfriend would comment on every single thing i tried to eat in his presence. It was relentless and dehumanizing. My ex would comment on my food intake well into my pregnancy, would tell me i embarrassed him by how much i ate in front of others. And that all happened while he knew my sister was extremely sick in residential treatment for an eating disorder
Bet he was raised with women that ate like birds.
In my experience, sometimes it’s trying to shame you, and sometimes it’s trying to give you a not-like-other-girls “compliment.”
Which one it is usually depends on your body fat percentage. :-/
“Not that it’s any of your business, I sure didn’t plan on eating it sitting next to an asshole but here we are.”
This person sucks. Boomers saying the craziest inappropriate stuff to people they should have no business even interacting with.
“No one asked for your opinion” (or “Oh fuck off”), keep that in your back pocket for when you can’t come up with a pithy line on the spot. Works in most scenarios
“Where are you gonna put all that?” is something I’ve heard from my Boomer parents and their parents my whole life. If you can’t finish the food it’s usually followed with “Your eyes were bigger than your stomach, eh?”
Are you a woman? If so, that’s why. Some men feel entitled to talk to us about our bodies. Next time, growl at them.
When someone says something like that to me, I say, “I’m surprised you felt comfortable saying that out loud.”