for context, i was seeing a movie the other night with my boyfriend and my step-dad texted me asking me why i wasn’t home by 9:30 PM although i told him i’d be home by 11. we had a little argument over text and he said “enjoy your five hour movie” (probably bc i spent all day with my bf) and that was the end of it. this made me anxious for the rest of the movie and i couldn’t focus.
what do i do? talking to him won’t work because he thinks he’s always right and he swears i never told him 11 pm. i want to stop sharing my location with him and stop asking him to go out since i’m an adult now. though, he said before if i did that he’d stop caring for me. i don’t know if he was serious, but i’d have somewhere else to go even if he kicked me out. any advice???
Comments
I can’t comment on everything but as far as the what time you’ll be home by issue…in the future consider sending him a text reminding him of what you told him. For example, after you verbally tell him you’re going out with your boyfriend, or whomever, shortly after you leave, send a text of “Hi dad!! Just a reminder that I’ll be home by 11:00. See you then!” That way there’s written proof that you told him twice how long you’d be out.
Ugh, sounds like classic control masked as “caring.” If he’s weaponizing care and threatening to pull support over independence? That ain’t love, that’s manipulation. You’re grown now, set the boundary, make your exit plan solid, and don’t let guilt trap you.