So for background 8 years ago my now husband 37m and I 32f broke up & while we did he started dating someone. They eventually broke up after probably 3 months. The whole time he was with her he was trying to communicate with me & how much he missed me etc. (I kept ignoring him) & focused on me until they broke up & we started to talk again.
It was very dramatic because when we started talking again he would still have communication with her here & there and felt bad he dragged her into the whole thing. Well eventually we got over that. And a year and half later We got married. Weeks leading up to our wedding he sent her a message basically letting her know how sorry he was about everything and that he wished her the best. This pissed me off and hurt me alot because I found out through someone else and confronted him. All this happened in our early 20s.
Fast forward to a couple of years later ( married 5 years) my husband has been a very good husband, attentive, honest, extremely supportive, very sweet, affectionate, respectful, and does anything to make me happy , he hates to see me upset or sad and does anything to make sure I am not sad or upset. He Has not given me any reason whatsoever to doubt him or not trust him. We are mostly always together & he is very protective & takes care of us. And at times I can be a little jealous I guess you can say and he reassures me it’s ok but to just trust him & gives me reassurance.
However, recently we have been bumping into his ex & idk maybe now she is in our side of town? This has been very awkward for me and even though I dont really care about her I cannot help but relive a lot of the pain and trauma i experienced about 7 years ago. I feel like I am over the whole situation but I get so so angry almost as if I am living in the situation again. I stop hugging him , looking at him and don’t wNt to talk. I feel so so angry and I know that’s very unhealthy. He keeps telling me this in the past & that this isn’t him and gets very stressed and overwhelmed.
The thing is I wish I could avoid seeing his ex altogether. Like I hateeeee to have to see her around. But at the same time It is outside of my control but I hate the feelings this gives me. I also wonder why am I feeling so angry so many years later? Idk if I will ever get over this and wonder if it is better to just end my relationship with my husband. Ilove him so much but the thought of reliving that pain and trauma over and over again is not only traumatic but scares me so much. It also makes me question if I truat my husband & wonder if he would ever do something like this again.
Tl:dr we keep bumping into husband’s ex. It is bringing a lot of memories and trauma from the past & also makes me not trust my husband. Does this mean that I never got over this and the trust is irreparable ?