Hi, I (31 F) would like some advice. I’m together with my partner (34 M) for nearly 10 years. In april our first son was born. Now the story; a year ago we were rudely awakened by the police. They came to arrest my partner for the rape of a minor. I was in shock.. I couldn’t believe it. The police took him for interrogation and by the end of the day he was back at home. He told me that in 2022 he was seduced by a male (ex) co-worker to meet him and his girlfriend to have sex. He met them but he told me at that time that he didn’t touch the girl and he just watched them have sex. It turns out the girl was 16… I was broken but believed him and glad he didn’t touch the girl. I decided to stay with him and move along. A year later he needed to go to court. I’ve got to read Some documents of his lawyer and turns out he didn’t told me the whole truth. He did had sex with her. I believe trully that he didn’t knew she was a minor and if he knew he wouldn’t gone through with it. The boyfriend of the girl was many years older then her and he ‘borrowed’ her to other men because he liked that… she was so in love with him she would do what he asked but when the relationship ended she knew this wasn’t normal. Sorry for the long story. I’m so hurt by the cheating and the dishonesty. When I confronted him he said he didn’t wanted to hurt me more. What should I do? I love him so much. He is my soulmate and we have a little baby together. But can I ever trust him again?
Keep him or leave?
r/Advice
Comments
Would you ever cheat on him and let yourself be in that situation? If the answer is no then you love him more than he loves you. He threw away 10 years to have sex with a minor. The relationship can’t come back from this in my opinion
You even have to ask if you should stay? 😂 that “man” is not your soulmate. He’s a lying cheating sack of shit that will do the same thing over and over again to you, and you’ll only know if you find out.
This is really beyond fucked up. He cheated on you, he’s now a sex offender, he lied about it through omission. I don’t think you or your child need to be exposed to someone who will drag you through hell like this.
Your community will know about this I’m sure. I can’t imagine the uncomfortable conversations you’ll be forced to have… all because of his reckless and disgusting actions. You deserve so much better. I am sorry your life is entwined with this person but you don’t have to stick it out. This is relationship ending.
Oh for fuck’s sake.
You really have to take the emotion out of this and really reflect of how much this will damage your future child and how his recklessness has put you and your child in harms way.
The real answer is… how can you stay with him? You’ll have to face all kinds of consequences sharing a home with him, you son’s friends will have to have special “rules” and their parents will flip out when they find out.
You have to think of your child and unfortunately, your feelings for this man aren’t relevant and shouldn’t be a factor – kids first.
This is just my opinion, people have stayed with sex offenders but you should know what you’re getting into.
If we learned anything from the Diddy case, it’s that one time leads to a pattern…how can you trust him? If there’s something he’s doing different and this was anone time mistake (maybe police, court is enough to change him) then stay together..:but if you don’t believe it then move on before it gets any worse. Good luck
This is a dump him situation
You know the answer.
Why on Earth would you keep him? Holy fuck.
RUN!
bait because why the hell would you stay with someone who is like this. any sane person would’ve left
Seek counseling that type of men can really screw up your head. You need to stay true to yourself I believe that when you’re around people who make those kind of mistakes you begin to lose yourself and the ability to distinguish right from wrong. Eventually, your brain is so jacked up. You don’t even know what what’s left and what’s right get out of the situation for the sake of your child. Find some normalcy.
Wow the time and pain is surreal I’m dealing with horrible things as well and it’s hard to navigate all I can say is you need to get your ducks in a row and leave him. He cheated on you with another pedo and a underage teen thats insanity and disgusting. This is a trauma bond and love of a false person. Your child cannot be around someone like this. Please wake up
🤦♀️get out now! Before you and son are financially as well as mentally ruined. No. He will not change.
“cheating” is not even the right word here. Your partner sexually abused a child. That’s so gross. Do you want your child around him? Do you want your YOU around him? Get out of there!
I didn’t read past the title because if you have to ask, you have your answer
I’m so sorry you and your son are going through this. I’m not sure that you ever could, or should trust him. At this point, you don’t really know if this is the only time he has done this. If I were you, I could never trust him again, much less continue to live with him.