Lack of Sex and Physical Affection

I (F39) am having an issue with my relationship (1+YR) with my boyfriend (M38).

He is not physically affectionate, in public or private. I am almost always the one initiating. This bothers me as someone who is very physically affectionate and whose love language is physical affection. I have casually mentioned him to this last year and his response was “that’s not who I am,” with zero improvement.

He is also not passionate or sexually attentive either. Our kisses are usually hello/goodbye pecks on the cheek or lips. He rarely initiates kissing, despite me asking for more kisses. We rarely kiss before sex, and when it does happen, it doesn’t feel passionate like it did with partners I had before.

Our sex was good 6+ months ago, but it has gone downhill after we almost broke up. We tend to only have sex once every 2 weeks now. Actually, I can’t remember when we last had sex. I think it was maybe 4+ weeks ago. As someone with a high sex drive that expresses love through sex, this is sexually and emotionally frustrating. Also, he has become more selfish in bed. There is little or no foreplay. It has become all about him needing a “release” – it feels like my body is being used. He rarely goes down on me, though I almost always go down on him. In the past he was unable to make me come, even though I have no problem making myself come. Maybe it is performance anxiety, though I have told him a few times that I enjoy it regardless. I have even suggested using a vibrator to “finish me off”, though he has shown no interest in doing that.

Things came to a head a couple of months ago. I had decided to break up with him due to these issues. But he cried and asked me to not break up with him, asking if there was anything he could do. So I told him everything above. He promised that he would try, and later got a viagra prescription as I suggested (lately he has had a little trouble staying hard).

But nothing has changed. I imagine spending the rest of my life like this, with a partner that is not fulfilling me sexually and affectionately. It is a depressing thought. I think I would rather be single if things don’t change. I feel that I am still young and could have another 25+ years of satisfying sex and physical affection with a different partner. But he is an excellent partner otherwise. I can see myself being content and living a good peaceful life with him. But it would feel like settling for a life without passionate love.

Should I wait until he loses the weight and regains his confidence (he has told me this is the issue, but I have told him repeatedly that I am attracted to him and want to have sex regardless)? Should I ask to check his phone for porn or cheating (no reason to suspect beside poor sex life)? Should I be grateful for having a partner that is good to me and may be the best partner I can realistically find? Should I try communicating more and taking the lead sexually? Should I talk to him once more and break up if things don’t change? What are your thoughts and advice for me?

Thank you.

TL;DR Lack of (good) sex and physical affection is causing me to question relationship with my partner/best friend.