Sorry if this is a long post
So I (M21) understand that everyone is different but im needing opinions. I’ve never dated but would really like to find love this year, just worried about getting rejected/made fun of for living situation.
I’m currently living with my mom, and although I still have no car (sharing car with mom) or job I’m working ft in college trying to get my bachelors degree (become only the 2nd/3rd person to get a bachelor in my family). Also hoping to get a part time job (1 day week) so im not completely broke) but id still be broke cause college.
So like I might not be able to take a girl on fancy dates or buy expensive things/gifts on holidays/birthdays (not saying all women want that btw) but i could make dates happen, Maybe a picnic, cook at my house, movie or game night.
I just want to find love, a gf, best friend. I just don’t know if I should try because idk if I’ll be seen as “a bum”. My best friend (M20 who has a gf himself) said he thinks I’d be a great boyfriend and that he don’t think it would or should be a problem I’d they actually love me. But I want yalls opinion
Comments
I think it’s important to have a plan for the future that you’re working towards even if you are still in the beginning phases of executing it. IMO that’s what women would be looking for as opposed to someone who has no plan
you should try
Based of title alone there’s something you have to understand: women date NEETs who live at home too. There’s no hard and fast rule about what makes you “datable”. Some women will filter you out, but that’s always going to happen and often based on factors totally out of your control.
It depends on his attractiveness level
If you’re a Texan, howdy from the south. Sounds like you might be a bit hard on yourself. Chill out and enjoy your assets and attributes for making a good date. Please consider getting a job with three days a week. You are placing too much emphasis on money. I am sure that you will be helping out your mother also. Going to college is super impressive and important. P. S. 68 year old mother of three grown children. You sound as if you’re very young and have many positive assets like sensitivity, hard worker, and gentle and caring person.
I think you should try. Finding a partner now when you have nothing to offer but being a good boyfriend will mean more than finding a partner once you’re already established (I met my bf when he was living in an apartment with 4 people and working a job that only paid $400/week. He tells me all the time that me being with him when he had next to nothing means so much to him. He says that no one else could compare to me because they would be with him now that he is established, rather than going through the trenches and growing with him).. now I will say for me personally, no job & no car is a dealbreaker.. but there are MANY women out there who don’t see that as a dealbreaker.. put yourself out there!!
Mate you are 21. You’re barely an adult. It’s very normal to be living at home, broke and studying.
Women are looking for your potential. Are you motivated? Are you doing well at your course? You sound like you could make some creative dates.
These are the important things at your age.
There isn’t any set down rule by which women, or anyone, dates. If you click, you click and you date. Just be honest about the person you are. So if a woman likes you, then you know she likes you for your original self.
I was in my 30s working a min wage job living with my parents and met a woman who was a surgeon.
You just gotta be attractive
I was in my 30s working a min wage job living with my parents and met a woman who was a surgeon.
You just gotta be attractive
At 21? Lol, you are fine my god.
At 21? Lol, you are fine my god.
Not a girl.
I’m 33.
The one that got away was a girl from high school who was so into me that she sent me suggestive photos and took the initiative to ask me to hang out, to go to prom, see each other during summer, etc.
I was so insecure about almost everything that I botched it. I was insecure about my looks because she was so cute, and I was, essentially, Shrek. I was insecure about my finances because she had a job at the department store while I was unemployed because I wanted to enjoy my high school years by staying at home watching TV and playing video games, and whatever money I got, I blew it all on stuff like trading cards and comic books.
I ended up self-sabotaging because my brain couldn’t comprehend as to why she would like me when we were at different worlds. She was responsible and getting her life together, and I was a bum who had no direction.
Her last words to me before moving away hurt, because I realized that she liked me for who I was at the time, and not what I had or what I couldn’t do.
Put yourself out there. You never know what’s going to happen. You’re still in the middle of your education. Majority of the people in your age group are in the same position as you, financially or otherwise, unless you’re trying to hit up the super wealthy elite. Yes, people will turn you down, but from what I’m reading, you’re working hard for a degree, and you already drive and have access to a car. You’re employed, which means you have some form of financial literacy. You already have a good foundation.
Plenty of women would. Your attitude is why you fail. Instead of focusing on living home with mom mention you are working on your degree and what your skills are will cooking. Accentuate the positive, diminish the negative. Focus on what you are doing NOW to make things happen and the skills you have and are working on.
Hard no
Date a college girl from one of your classes. Happens all the time.
This is the best spot to actually find someone genuinely worthwile.
20 is so young – so much potential. I’d say this is where most people’s professional careers start, peaking in the mid 30s – 40s.
It also depends on why they’re at home and don’t have a car? Are they saving? What are they saving for? Does the family already have a car.
Broke at 20 isn’t that unusual. You’re starting on the career ladder around this age. I’d be more worried about being unemployed.
Also at this age relationships and people aren’t judged as much. It much more about the person / personality over what they have. Compared to mid 30s and 40s it’s mostly about ticking those boxes – a house, car, job, future, stability etc
Personally, I don’t care about a man’s job, financial situation, living situation, or whether or not he has a car. I’m sure I’m not the only one.
If she really likes you, she’ll date you if you’re living in your car. I’ve seen it happen many times
Why do people ask these question, since the answer is always the same.
If you look good enough then yes, but if your personality is dry it wont last
Depends on your looks. If you are 8 and above, you can be the poorest guy ever, it wouldnt matter
Some yes, some no, just like most things. But it’s your reality so don’t run from it. Just keep working towards your goals and be honest with whomever you’re talking with and/or want to date. If they can see in you that you are honest and working hard, they’d likely be open. If they just want to have fun and your lifestyle makes that hard, then they would likely pass – and you don’t need to bother with that type of person right now.
Be you young bro. Live with purpose and confidence and that is attractive. Housing and money changes. Your character doesn’t. Most women can see this, at least they type you want to be with
I did but he wasn’t in college either. It’s been 8 years and were doing good
a friend of mine who attracts a lot of women is homeless