I hear people talk about how fun hooking up is and how everyone needs to try it but I’m skeptical and reluctant. How has it affected you?
Ladies what has been your experience with hook up culture?
r/AskWomen
I hear people talk about how fun hooking up is and how everyone needs to try it but I’m skeptical and reluctant. How has it affected you?
Comments
No men want to commit and you’re expected to sleep with a guy on the first date. I hate it out here lol.
Also following… 😅
It is super fun but it’s definitely not for everyone
It was educational while it lasted.
Fun in the short term, horrible in the long run. Not everyone is into it.
I tried it for a while in between long term relationships after a particularly horrible breakup that annihilated my self esteem. I hated myself afterward every time. It was fun in the moment, but once the dust settled, I just felt empty. It definitely wasn’t for me.
I enjoy it. I’ve had serious relationships in my past and would be open to that again but I definitely just hook up too and it’s really fun for me.
I haven’t had sex since the beginning of February, and I’m good with that.
It’s not for everyone. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it after being in two serious relationships back to back from ages 16-25. You need to be extra safe though, I’m polyamorous so the people I see are accustomed to it, but I see recent test results BEFORE being intimate. If anyone gives you any amount of grief for asking steer clear.
I didn’t go “all the way” but I tried it out with third base with one guy, back in 2019. Hated it. Felt very demoralising by the end of it, no matter how much I was convincing myself I was “getting my ex back”. So it was absolutely out of spite rather than anything else.
I was then involved in a situationship for four of six years. He knew I was in love with him, he knew I expected exclusivity with sex, and he agreed to that. Was he exclusive, though? Nope. He was utterly selfish and played with my emotions, right from the getgo, said and did all the things just to wear my trust down. It was Something Emotional for me, it was hookups for him. (And “only you” was just a lie to get me into bed.)
It’s not for me. I may have sexual attraction and libido-lust right off the bat, but I’m too much of a hopeless romantic to thin myself out like that. I truly just want to fall in love and have someone fall in love with me back.
It’s fine, it can be fun but it’s not for everyone I don’t know who’s claiming everyone should try it
Tried is once and definitely NOT for me but power to those who enjoy it.
I honestly enjoyed my hookup phase (on and off for about two years up until about 6 months ago) but the key was being really honest with myself about what I wanted and why. I determined that I was really craving short-lived connections with some fun and banter, and if I ever felt wrong or off afterward I’d really sit with that feeling and assess if I wanted to be done. (But there is absolutely zero shame in a mindless hookup, even if you decide after the fact it wasn’t for you!)
Ultimately I had most success and fulfillment when I pursued friends with benefits in the truest sense. I’d meet up with the person first and see if we clicked in a friendly, respectful way, and if the physical attraction was there then I’d see where it went. One of these people I actually ended up developing a real friendship with- we’d sleep together but then talk in bed for hours after, or he’d get us bowls of ice cream and we’d watch funny videos. Super wholesome and we never had a true romantic spark and I think we had a perfect middle ground. We still stay in touch to this day but we’re both in happy relationships now 🙂
Back before my first relationship when I was basically an older teenager wanting to make some experiences, I tried around a bit with FWB situations. Not my cup of tea. Not terrible, but not very good either. Had one ONS that was pretty shitty, FWB stuff is better than that.
But: Sexual intimacy in a relationship is about 1000 times better, more fulfilling, in my case guaranteed orgasms and so on.
And it’s a lot less vanilla than casual stuff in my experience.
Hook up culture isn’t worth the hassle.
It can be lots of fun with the right people.
Where I live its what most 20 something women do in between relationships. What I’ve found though is my friends and I tend to hook up with the same guys – so its a largish pool of women hooking up with a relatively small proportion of hook-able up guys.