Last Day Part 1 (IL vacation)

LONNNG UPDATE but I am standing on business and keeping my husband in check while my ILs try to run the show!

So… Some of you will know it’s me but just a quick backstory:

IL’s planned an entire vacation to CA in a city we don’t even live in – to visit us from TX. DH counseled them before they came about the fact they were too far from us and our car sick kid for us to go to them prior to the visit with plenty time to re plan but they pushed forward.

Here we are last day of the trip(read my prior posts to catch up if you’d like). I will share what happened yesterday and what this morning has turned into.

We did the San Fran Zoo yesterday (Let me tell you- if you live nearby or plan to take children there – I HIGHLY recommend! It was so awesome and absolutely beautiful.) First thing I made sure that we got a sandwhich in my kids tummies before the 1hr 15 min drive there. My husband was anxious because they called at 9am asking when we would be there. I had to remind him that he better chill out because we would not be rushing to them before our kids eat… We got there at 130pm.

We all walked around the zoo and guess who was in the very back of the group the ENTIRE time… MIL. Unless she insisted on getting all the kids together for a picture… there was a lot of that of course (more than needed IMO). We would all walk up to view animals and she was on the other side of the path just standing alone! Until she made a swift turn to get dip n dots for all the children (the last time we went to the zoo 2021 we told her no because our kids were sick and much younger and needed real food and not just junk). This time she made SURE as shit she got the kids their dip in dots. When I sat down with the group after wrangling my kids over to them, I asked “where are my dip in dots?” hehe… just to jab.

The kids certainly needed food this time too but I was sneaking them handfuls of goldfish while we were walking around because I knew they needed something in their bellies while there. I think this pissed her off. (IMO she hates if she isn’t the one supplying the snacks and food when visiting). No one mentioned grabbing lunch at the cafe there as I figured so I was sure to pack enough for all the kids- even the visiting cousins. But we sure did end up sitting out front of the cafe while everyone took a restroom break and my little son had to go because ice cream runs right thru him. He was trying to push thru because he absolutely hates public bathrooms but we knew if he didn’t go it would end bad… I think she was annoyed she had to sit and wait for them but she is the damn reason why we had to make that stop. No one talked about getting food while sitting there for the kids. Just beers. She was annoyed with me because I told the kids no when they asked if the could eat cotton candy after the icecream. “No not until you have some real food”

So when it came time to leave 5pm they wanted us to go to the airbnb in San Francisco and eat Pizza with them. My kids kept asking if they were going to eat at our house- they naturally have wanted their Uncles and Grandparent’s to come to our house as well as their cousins to come and play. Our dog had been crated already for most of the day in our absence… so while my husband was going along with it- I just said “ All the kids keep asking us if you all are coming to our house. They really just want everyone to come and see how they live and be with them” So then my husband had the courage to ask them if they wanted to come to our house. How could they say no to that? We all went to our house and we ordered the pizza we normally get and wings and of course everyone loved it- and couldn’t stop complimenting the food.

My husband’s BIL is engaged to a woman he has been with and she has two adult kids now from another Baby Daddy and two with him. They all showed up Thursday Late night so we didn’t see them. They all planned their day in SF Friday and we didn’t see them. This was the first day our kids got to be with them. “FSIL” was attached to my hip talking with me. MIL sat in one spot on the couch the entire time. I stayed away from her and just chatted with BILs fiancé not giving any real info just chatting about being Moms at the end of the day. We did ask to have their young girls stay over- they objected. The kids wanted to stay and my little ones were definitely bummed. We had been floating the idea since before they came.

Anyway- it ended with them all planning to go to the museum and baseball game today in San Francisco and then either they all would come here again for a bit or just grandparents would visit today before they fly out tomorrow. 9am phone call comes and it’s FIL saying they found a Beer and Wine Street Festival that they want us to meet them at.

My husband of course says “cool ok”. Then I ask details and it’s 50min drive for us… and it’s just tents in the street (which we attempted a street festival a few weeks ago and it was a waste- our kids were not into it… not worth the drive) We have made it CLEAR that our daughter has to take dramamine and she is not the same when she does and we don’t want to drive her around because of it, especially days back to back- they just keep ignoring that. My kids have been asking them to come to the park with them for many phone calls leading up to this visit. I told my husband they can come here and we can take all the kids to the park and then we can all go to dinner if they don’t care to go to our house together for home cooked dinner.

Some of you have said it in previous posts- these MFers do not give a shit about what the kids want(2 -8yr olds, 7,6, 4 & 3yr olds) or what THEY would enjoy… they just want to go out and parade the group of 16 around … WTF?!?! We told them we wouldn’t be driving to them on Sunday early on and so… WE WON’T be driving to them no matter what new things they choose to do. The children were having so much fun playing together at our house and that’s all they could keep saying when they were here yesterday. We aren’t interested in walking in groups apart from each other in the streets of Oakland while MIL stands off to the side and FIL and BIL get drunk. We will see what time they show up to our house today but I’m so damn glad that I let go of the guilt they try to put on us and or just the way they try to manipulate everyone into doing the dumbest shit. I guess what it really is at the end of the day is I stopped worrying if my husband would be upset with me for not going with the flow. I will always put my kids first… and I’m helping him break the cycle too. It’s tough to do but I’m standing firm because screw that. They should have planned with us and stayed in an area where we weren’t expected to drive for an hour to be with them (after not seeing them in nearly two yrs). After all… they drive 6hrs to go sit around for entire weekends with the people they brought on this trip. They can all come to us- Period