I (26F) come from a close Latin American family, it’s normal for us to kiss and hug. I mentioned to my white boyfriend that I still cuddle with my mum and close family members sometimes. He said it was weird, it’s pretty normal for us. Are we weird?
I (26F) come from a close Latin American family, it’s normal for us to kiss and hug. I mentioned to my white boyfriend that I still cuddle with my mum and close family members sometimes. He said it was weird, it’s pretty normal for us. Are we weird?
Comments
22M here. No, I don’t think that’s weird. I do the same thing.
It varies from family but overall, it’s normal.
Depends on the family but no, it’s very normal, your bf is a goofy and maybe you should worry less about things that a white man tells you.
Bastante normal
It’s very much a Latino thing, which is rare because we’re not a monolithic culture but this thing I believe is common to mostly all of us.
I feel sorry for your white boyfriend but that lack of human, family physical contact explains so much about all that’s wrong with them.
completely normal in my family lol
when you say your boyfriend is white, do you mean he’s american or european? bc apparently they’re more "cold" about these things, but I’m not going to generalize either, sometimes his family just isn’t like that.
however, it’s kind of funny that he sees a family that is affectionate with each other and finds it strange
let me guess your bf comes from an anglosaxon family. This is a cultural thing we latinos and southern europeans in general are more "demostrative" when it comes to affection with family members (for good or bad) it isn’t a weird thing.
We latinos may find gross the habit of eating insects, or certain animal but people in Asia does not. Different people, different cultures. There is no wrong answer to how to live and who determines what is "weird" and what is not?
We are not weird, we are Civilization.
https://preview.redd.it/xyvndqwhpjre1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=c1d2f6cd2c3e6148eb0ec5a1695508b753a52c4c
I’m 37 yo and still cuddle my mom and dad, am affectionate with my siblings, tell each other I love you, I hold my mom’s hand when we’re out together. It’s cultural, for people outside physical cultures it’s weird to be affectionate with relatives for us it’s weird to be emotionally detached.
no, there+s nothing weird about it.
I dated 2 Americanas when I lived in TN 10 years ago. Never again. Culture was to different compared to the Cuban upbringing I was used to in Miami.
I’m a 30 y.o. male and my family still hug and kiss me like if I was a child. I honestly hate it, but then I remember that my parents are getting old. Specially my mom which is the more physically affectionate one. My mom sometimes just wants to hug and cuddle me and call me su bebé but shes in her 50s now. I’m not sure how long I will have her around. I don’t want to make her feel bad by rejecting her love.
Latino countries show some outstanding numbers in life satisfaction compared to other countries, despite our quality of life being much lower. One could say its because we are simple people, but im pushed to believe its our way to interact with our families and those around us. We just show more love and are happy to be loved too. He is free to think it is weird, and we are free to think that his mindset is quite sad.
As long as you’re not making out with your family or touching their genitals, it’s not weird. Different people have different levels of affection with family members and it’s totally fine.
From what I have noticed, white men tend to be emotionally repressed. It’s an unacknowledged high testosterone macho culture that discourages vulnerability and emotional expression, often equating sensitivity with weakness. This can lead to difficulties in forming deep emotional connections, expressing needs, and processing feelings in a healthy way.
No, lmao. If anything, I find them the weird ones. I don’t like this hyperindividualistic Anglo-Saxon culture of expecting your kid to leave home at 18 and see them again only a few times a year, or having this cold transactional relationship with your parents and extended family.
He sounds very Protestant but in my family we don’t do that. Tough love, my parents were from farming towns, grew up poor. I got lots of love from my family the countryside, my family from the city were definitely more rigid. This is common worldwide tho.
Weird? Anglo-Germanic cultures is very distant than Latin based cultures. Latino cultures are considered warm and welcoming. Hot blooded and passionate. Why? Because we’re affectionate. We hug and we kiss our friends and family on the cheek. We cuddle and we don’t mind being around others in a manner that Anglo-Germanic cultures find intrusive.
When a Latin person meets a friend or family they kiss their cheek especially of a lady whether it’s their friend, mom or family member etc. you know a Latin person by the cultural warmness. They offer food if you come to their house and follow the Roman tradition of Hospes or Hospitalidad and it is literally a near universal.
We may not have much to offer, but we will definitely offer what we can. If we cook a dinner we offer seconds and then insist you eat! We value or neighbors and can come off as intrusive and loud to Anglo cultures. We come off as way to passionate or friendly. People will either hypersexualize us as “exotic” or find us off putting because we tend to say what we feel and we talk with our hands, our bodies enthuse gestures of emotion and thought. Tie a Latinos hands behind their backs and ask them to carry a normal conversation and watch as they struggle. A English speaker will have little issue because they don’t have that same energy and cultural dispositions.
We don’t really do that in my family but I don’t think it’s weird if others do. I hug and kiss my parents but wouldn’t cuddle with them or any of my sisters and brothers. I do hold my grandmother’s hand when we are outside though.
No there’s nothing wrong with being affectionate with family! I understand some people think it’s weird when introducing someone but family?
I have read some very sad comments where people say that their own mothers didn’t show them affection as kids because they were boys.
US people see kissing on the cheek as a declaration of love. That’s why they think it’s weird. Those weird awkward hugs they do are much worse
Your imported bf is the weird one.
Not weird. Pity him, since he doesn’t actually know what love is
Imagine showing affection to the people you love be labeled weird.
That’s why I stopped dating white people, they’re the weirdos. Boring as hell with bland food meh
No, the English speaking countries are usually more non-physical and non-emotional socially speaking.
Who doesn’t kiss and hug their family?
Damn. Super jealous of you alll. 1st gen Mexican in US. No me abrazo con mis padres ni les digo te amo. We are not affectionate at all in our family. Shit fucked me up tbh.
We’re merely exchanging long protein chains. If he can think of a simpler way we’d like to hear it
Lmao hell nah. I’m 30 and when I go home to visit my parents, I still cuddle up to them.
And kiss + hug is standard greeting on both sides of my family, even the non Latin one.
Imagine not showing your family how much you care about them. What a sad life
Not weird at all.
Anything that is not aligned with the anglosphere is weird apparently.
Americans sexualize a lot of things… Back in 2016 it took a time to explain them that samba isn’t a sexual dance in itself, like strip-tease. Yeah, the Carnival queens are wearing next to nothing, but that’s… unrelated.
Like, imagine an Irish stepdancer wearing a g-string. Does it make the dance style itself sexual? No, they just happen to be almost naked
What’s interesting is how Americans are big "huggers"…I’ve had a few awkward moments in the U.S where friendly well meaning acquaintances (people I was friendly with but that weren’t full on friends or family) have just full bodied hugged me and it was my turn to be taken aback. Here in Argentina at least we kiss nearly everyone, but hugging is only reserved for very close friends/family. One time I was seeing an american cousin of mine I had met once like 15 years before and I went to give him a kiss and he came to hug me and it was an awkward mess. I don’t mind it but it’s just not something I’m used to. I suppose americans and other non kissing countries feel the same about us.
I feel sad for your boyfriend and his family.
The weird ones are the Northern European or Anglo-Saxon people. There’s actually a book called the WEIRDest people in the world by Hendricks. It describes how the individualistic culture of Northern Europe was constructed by laws and other structures over the course of centuries.
Gringos try not to freak out when a mom love their child challenge : impossible
Imagine showing affection being weird. It’s normal.
Not weird at all. We like each other and we like to show we like.
Maybe he said it was weird because he’d like to have it as well but didn’t manage to deal with the lack of connection in his family compared to yours.
For some people is much easier to say "weird" than "it’s cool and unfortunately i dont have it in my family". Who knows…
It’s the effects of having a community based society vs a individualistic one
Do remember that American culture comes from puritan English pilgrims, and their attitudes towards body contact is not to be considered the norm.
No, and white gringos hug each other frequently if they love each other; they’re not afraid of physician contact. His family is the weird one.
Normally lurk, but I’m an Anglo dude. I dated a Latina girl who was very close with her mom, and generally much more affectionate with her latino family than I am with mine.
Did it sometimes make me uncomfortable? Yes. Did that make anything she or her mom did wrong? Absolutely not. They were expressing love for each other. It’s a set of cultural behaviors with their own benefits and drawbacks just like the ones I experience in my own family dynamic. Don’t let your boyfriend tell you it’s weird. He doesn’t get to decide that.
Heterosexual males in very patriarchal western societies used to kiss other men in the mouth as a sign of respect.
What define as weird or not sometimes is very cultural dependent.
There were a scandal over here in Quebec, because our prime minister kissed his sister on the mouth, when he won his first election 😅 while celebrating on the stage
I am not latina and this is not weird at all, I cuddle with my sisters all the time.
33M from South Asia pero hablo español.
Ain’t nothing weird about it. The families that don’t embrace one another are the real losers.
No, we are normal, human and warm. The rest are wrong and suck.
No
And I think you should replace your “Mexico” tag with “United States of America”.
Puede ser normal dentro de tu familia pero tu novio y su familia tienen diferente cultura. Tarde o temprano seras un poco como ellos y viceversa
If your BF is judging your family’s traditions…he ain’t the one
I don’t really do that at all with my family. Kiss and hug yeah, but not cuddling.
It’s normal for us, weird for them.
Don’t overthink it.
Idk I would say yes. My husband is Latino and his mother made it a point to tell me she breastfed him til he was 6. She’s also pretty toxic so.
I don’t think this is about anyone being weird, it’s just different cultures. It’s weird to him, because he’s not accustomed to it. Just like to you, his circumstances are probably weird, because it’s different from what you are used to.
La cultura anglosajona o germanica es bastante distante al contacto fisico, pareciera que luego de los 13-15 años tienen prohibido muestras de afecto fisico entre familia. claro que va a ser raro para ellos, pero no por eso quiere decir que esta mal. Si fueramos por ese sentido me parece raro que se cene mucho o que tengan la cena de acción de gracias.
No cari~o, they are the weird ones.
We’re social apes, we are affectionate, we even groom each other, although we don’t eat the ticks anymore (well, most of us)
No. It’s them that they weird. 🙂
I’m European and I do it too. Most people do it. The ones who don’t, are weird, jkjk.
Some people see all kind of affection as se*ual.
Browsing through Reddit I learned that, for a lot of americans, kissing, cuddling and hugging is reserved for little kids (under 12) and romantic partners. They are touched deprived.
No, we are not weird, we simply don’t sexualize every display of affection.
Do Mexicans kiss when greeting/meeting people of the opposite sex? I haven’t seen it.
Any time I’ve gone to kiss a mexican woman they seem slightly surprised as though the practice is super old-fashioned.
Haitians don’t kids everyone just family, friends and the opposite sex that older than us . (Old enough where people wouldn’t think you’re flirting)
Not weird just different cultural upbringing. And also just because it’s prevalent in one ethnic culture doesn’t mean everyone does. Some families have their own cultural mores that may be different from what is typical in that ethnic group.
Actually social psichology + anthopology has come to the conclusion that (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich and Democratic, abbreviated to WEIRD) are the anomaly in human societies. This includes anglos and northern europe, even northern france.
There is famous academic paper and a book about.
Read here:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_WEIRDest_People_in_the_World?wprov=sfla1
Hispanic/iberian americans are closer to that definition than other non-latin christian heritage but we lack the industrialized and rich part(at least relatively) and regarding "formal education" we are still laggards.
No, we’re normal. And what’s normal for a culture can be seen as abnormal by another. And your boyfriend just thinks other cultures are weird because other cultures are polite enough to never call him "weird" to his face.
The only weird thing is pointing out your boyfriend’s white out of nowhere.
I don’t think that is weird especially when you do it with a friend or a family member
I think your of is the weird one for thinking that. Even in white American and Northern European settings I have heard of people that still cuddle with their grown up kids, but acknowledge that some people are weirded out by it. And it is not that we Latin Americans do it all the time, because it is something common mainly within women (mother-daughter). Most fathers would be weirded out by the idea, but tbf many of them are weirded out by any expression of affection to their kids.
Turns out, different cultures have different practices and often think other cultures’ practices are weird.
Peruvian-American here
It’s the autism for me but I don’t usually like kisses or hugs. It’s weird. My Peruvian family is more reserved than average but we are still very affectionate with hugs and cheek kisses.
My Portuguese aunt gives two kisses on the cheek and I thought it was weird. My usamerican friends are similarly “cold” in this way too.
I remember when I was in Japan for a school trip my Japanese penpals did not hug or kiss at all. It was mostly waving and I found it hard to get used to.