Hey Reddit, I’m looking for advice.
So I (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been together for over 4 years now, and we’re having some issues in the bedroom—specifically regarding when to have intimacy. I don’t know if it’s because recently both his and my frontal lobes decided to develop a bit more, but we came to the conclusion that maybe doing bedroom gymnastics when other family members are home isn’t the brightest idea (we both still live with our individual parents). Also there is no issue in terms of spark or attraction or excitement between us.
Here’s the thing—we’re never sexual at my house. My parents are very strict, no-action-before-marriage Christians, and in the past 4 years there have only been a handful of times where no one’s been home for us to even consider doing anything. So, we’ve always defaulted to his house because it’s just him and his parents, and they go out regularly.
But now… a new issue has popped up.
His dog (13M) has gotten really clingy lately. I think it’s age-related—he doesn’t like being left alone, and honestly, since the beginning of our relationship, he has never liked us being affectionate. Whether it’s a hug or a kiss, he always reacts like we’re fighting. He’s always been an anxious little guy, but it’s gotten noticeably worse over time. Now he whines, barks, scratches at the door, or tries to get between us whenever we’re physically close.
So yeah… intimacy has been hard. We don’t feel great about bribing him with calming treats or locking him in another room right before sex—it honestly feels manipulative and weird, like we’re conditioning him for something he doesn’t understand. Both of us feel uncomfortable doing that, even if it might “solve” the problem.
So please—any advice would be appreciated, as long as it’s not about opening the relationship or breaking up (because that seems to be Reddit’s go-to every time). We’ll take even the most outlandish suggestions at this point. Just no bribing the dog, breaking up or bringing in a third person. Thanks.
TL;DR: I 20 F and my 20 M boyfriend are struggling to figure out when I have sex because we don’t like doing it when our family members at home and we don’t usually do it at my house cause of my parents we usually do it at his but his dog has become more clingy and aggressive towards us being intimate recently and we don’t know what to do.