Life’s a mess

r/

Hey, so the headlight in my car went out and unfortunately it’s some specialized headlight that costs $100. Which I don’t have. I was getting rides to work from my dad but when he came to my job asking for some money I owed him and misgendered me we fell out so I kicked him out. He said that he won’t be able to help me anymore even though i told him I would pay him back. Financial I’m screwed. I’m 2 months behind on my rent and my lights. My pipes busted a while back which shot my water bill up to $900 and I couldn’t afford to pay it. So they shut it off. I had also been showering at his place and when we had that falling out he took his key back so I couldn’t shower there anymore.

The only ride I have to work now is from my grandma. She is also unsupportive and misgenders me all the time despite knowing the harm it causes me. I know I need to get to work to get my finances in order but I really don’t want to put my mental health at an even greater risk. I just feel like it’s too much for one person to deal with. Like I know I’m not the best person but dealing with gender dysphoria and having to present as a gender you don’t align with is enough of a strain on its own. To couple that with my financial situation and things like social anxiety which often times affects my employment is hard. A history of hard drug abuse and self harm and being neglected in my child hood. I just feel like it’s too much to over come. I’m not sure how to fix my life. I just want to be better mentally.

I’m sorry I know I’m all over the place lol … Anyways at this point I think the only choice I have is just to find another job. Maybe go back over the road. Which I hate because this good is okay. I mean I do have plans to leave the south and I think Trucking would be a good way to go about that. Any advice??

Comments

  1. KissOfRogue Avatar

    Trucking might be your escape hatch lonely roads beat hostile homes when your sanity’s at stake. Sometimes discomfort that moves you forward is better than comfort that keeps you stuck.

  2. FunctionKey4594 Avatar

    Hey mate, sounds like ur in a real shitstorm rn n I’m real sorry to hear that. Here’s my 2 cents: ur mental health is critical. If ppl around ya aren’t treating ya with respect, steer clear. It’s tough, but probably best time to prioritize finding a job that embraces who u are, even if just for ur peace of mind, ya know? Plus, trucking could open some serious doors for ya, new places, new people. Chin up, dude – life’s a bitch but you’re tougher. Stay strong and remember, this too shall pass.

  3. FrauAmarylis Avatar

    Join the military.