Yesterday I (24M) told a girl (23F) that I’ve liked and been friends with for over 2 years how I felt about her and to keep this part short, it didn’t go well. The reply essentially boiled down to “I see you as a great friend, but nothing more”. We shared basically everything in common from interests, life goals, hobbies, aspirations, family goals, and the list goes on… We helped each other out with different things such as her giving me her old AirPods when my dog chewed mine, and for me fixing her car and letter her drive one of mine while we were waiting on parts, among a bunch of other stuff.
The question I’m asking myself is what do I do from here? Do I still have feelings for her? Absolutely. Will it ever go anywhere? Probably not. Will we still be good friends, maybe but should we?
The point I’m at now is how do I move on? The issue I’ve run into multiple times in the last 10+ years is meeting a girl I’m interested in, getting close and becoming good friends, but going nowhere further. Rinse and repeat. Gone through that like 4+ times now and only once has it let to an actual relationship (2 years beginning of university). The problem I see myself in right now is how do I meet women I am compatible with, who share the same interests, life goals, passions, etc… My job is a very male heavy field so I don’t see anything happening there. Dating apps are completely useless. I go to the gym regularly but I’m really not the type of person to approach a random girl and ask them out based off their looks alone. Also I feel like that is not the place for it, most people are there for exercise and not meeting people. My other hobbies are cars, motorcycles, skiing, taking my dog to the dog park and a few others but all of which are solo for the most part and it’s really difficult to meet people.
I guess the question I have is how do I put myself in a position where I’m more likely to have success? And how do I prevent becoming friends, catching feelings, things going nowhere and before you know it, 2 years have gone by.😕
TLDR : got rejected by a girl I’ve liked and been friends with for 2 years. How do I meet more women when my job and hobbies are mostly solo/male saturated?
Comments
One method of getting past this is to ask someone out as soon as you catch feelings. Then that will minimize the amount of time you are investing romantic emotions into the relationship.
If you are genuinely friends with someone you have a crush on and want to continue the friendship after being rejected, I recommend taking a bit of time to distance yourself. Then you can have a bit of time to readjust your feelings and work on just being friends.
I realize that not everyone can walk back romantic feelings after they have developed them, but it does make interactions like this feel like less of a loss if you still have a great friend in the end.