I have no interest in living with my future partner. Living separately, to me, seems the way to go. I can decorate how I want, if something breaks I know who the eff did it, I can choose to not make my bed in the morning, we can playfully use the phrase “if you don’t like it, you can take your ass home.” We can have sleepovers, we can be spontaneous easier, if we have offspring they will have two properties waiting for them, we aren’t forced to stay under the same roof if we get tired of each other. I just don’t see a downside, as long as we can afford it.
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I think this opinion might be becoming more popular.
It’s been my experience that loving somebody is easy.
But liking them, every day, 24/7, is tough.
Good
A fair proportion of such couples will start to doubt each other’s fidelity very soon. Not all, and not saying living together guarantees fidelity. But this arrangement tends to be in the grey area between single and in-a-relationship
My partner and I live separately and it’s awesome. Only about a 10 minute walk apart so still see each other often. We both need and love having our own space. Definitely not a popular opinion but really shouldn’t be the case
I think instead of this, people are just choosing to remain single
That’s called dating, right?
I suppose if those involved can afford that. Most people I know go for the separate room(s) dynamic which can work for many as well.
I don’t ever want to live with a man. I want my toilet seat down, always.
Twice the mortgage, twice the power bills, internet bills, insurance bills, water bills. Twice the expenses for furniture, upkeep, etc. It’s fine if that’s what y’all want to spend your money on, but it’s not very cost efficient.
That’s more expensive. It’s easy to say “Oh we’ll have two properties.” That’s a lot of money in most places. Most households are two income for a reason.
I also just don’t get it. If you marry someone you love you’d want to live with them. If you dislike living with them that much what’s the point? Why would you be unable to compromise on things like decorations? It seems self-absorbed to me tbh.
Also it will be much easier to fuck other people without the other one knowing.
The only reason living separately for me is a plus or I want in a future relationship it’s only because of the trauma that I had to endure during my separation from my ex and the possibility of losing my home. The risk of losing my safe space is way too traumatizing for me. My nervous system fires all on all cylinders just at the thought of it.
I definitely would not mind actually living with a partner – a true partner. The risks for me and my trauma outweigh the reward. With the law being what it is where I live even if he’s never on the title he still would get half of the equity. Can’t take the chance a judge would award half the equity and and additional buyout making me have to lose my home or unable to refinance and too large of a debt to sustain on my own.
My husband works out of state and is only home on the weekends, we’ve been married 25 years and I swear it’s the key to a healthy relationship.
me and my wife we are practically joined at the hip and I love it I couldn’t imagine a world where we would live at separate places. She was on a festival this weekend and I was staying home and now that she’s home we are acting as if we haven’t seen each other for months.
I couldn’t imagine world where we would live at different houses. She’s the only person I can spend 24/7 with without getting annoyed or anything like that I just love it.
But I can understand if others feel differently about this.
I had married friends that bought houses next door to each other and added an interconnecting door. It wouldn’t work for me but worked well for them.
I understood your point until you got to the kids part, because how does that work? Are you going to set up a custody arrangement as if you’re a divorced couple to determine when the child(ren) will be at each person’s home? Feels like you’d make things a lot more complicated that way.
I see your point but sharing costs of living and house chores makes life a lot easier for me.
I believe in having the relationships that work best for the people, so people should do whatever feels right for them and I can completely see how living separately would work for lots of couples. But it may not be right for everyone. Just like all types of relationship dynamics, there shouldn’t be an abnormal though and I thinking living separately should be more normalized rather then saying it’s good for the relationship. Cause it’s totally circumstantial.
Soo dating is a pretty normal thing which is what you’re describing.. if you want to be married and do this then I guess you better hope you both have high paying jobs.
It’s what me and current partner agree on. We both live separately and prefer our own space
I live with my partner and if something breaks and it wasn’t one of us then it was the cat. Neither of us would lie about something like that. As far as making the bed goes, just find someone who also doesn’t care to make the bed. I dont understand how living apart makes being spontaneous easier? And re offspring, how does that actually work? Do you you shuttle them between houses all the time? One parent is the caregiver and the other flits in and out?
I dont have any issues with the idea that some couples would rather live separately. And I know a couple couples who choose to do that. But the reasons you gave here are mostly pretty bad.
How separately? Are you going to share the cost of the 2 properties or keep those separate as well? Separate houses and completely separate finances sounds like it might get flagged for marriage fraud
My boyfriend is are like this. He has his place, I have mine. Unless we wanted to commit to marriage, I would not live with someone. Living together is all the compromise of marriage with none of the commitment, its just playing house.
lol, do whatever you want if you find someone who agrees. My partner and I actually like each other.
If they’re a good match for you then they’d be in agreement with most of the things you outlined and you wouldn’t get tired of them
Even if the decor isnt for me i enjoy seeing things around me that remind me of him. I like seeing every piece that we chose together and the memory of it. He challenges my tastes and opens me up to new things that have allowed me to discover more about myself. We work the same place same schedule. I still want more of him all around me. When my energy is low and i dont wanna clean he takes care of me and when he is low energy i pick mine up to see the relief it gives him.
I would be so sad not to live with my wife. The less time apart the better
This sound like it was written by a 19 year old girl