As it turns out my ‘33F’ long term bf ‘35M’ of 5 years decided he wanted to feel alive and post his peen on the Internet (anonymously) because he wanted to feel good about himself? I’m unsure how to process this or even how to proceed with things as they are.
He acknowledged that he’s sorry, it was stupid and didn’t have anything to do with me. Idk if I believe ask that.
He was actively lusting after other women on his account. Messaging and asking about 3somes locally. He says he never had any intention on doing any of that, but he did it be the attention made him feel good. Then says I give him enough attention, so naturally l’m confused and don’t know what to do.
We have a house together (rented) and we have a kid. Someone please help me process this i don’t lose my mind.
Comments
So what makes him feel like he’s not good enough that he needs to do this?
He has been actively looking to cheat on you.
Let’s think about this thing for a moment. He goes online and post his penis. He finds a hookup. Will he go?
I think you know he will.
I think it would be best for you to be done with this guy. When someone loves you they don’t play games like this. I think that he is keeping you around because if he gets rid of you then he gets even less sex.
You’re in your 30’s and don’t know what cheating looks like? I’m almost impressed by him because trying to line up 3somes and saying you’re doing it for attention, is such a lazy excuse.
Seems like it may have worked.
You’re not ‘overreacting.’ This is cheating-adjacent behavior. He crossed a boundary, and you get to decide if it’s a dealbreaker, not him.
Dump him
Let’s say hypothetically that he was never actually going to go through with anything- does it make everything else he did okay to you? Do you consider everything he’s done to be cheating? I know people who don’t consider themselves to be cheating if there’s no touching. He’s giving you lazy excuses and he won’t stop just because he’s been caught. How would he feel if you were doing the same things behind his back?
You need to clue into reality here. He’s feeding you the biggest load of BS in the world. End it, the only reason he didn’t cheat on you is cause nobody wanted him.
Time to cut it off.
If somebody breaks your front door but assures you he is not a burglar, will you believe him as well?
That is cheating.
It just didn’t get physical because there weren’t any takers
Crush his ego and say: “You tried to cheat on me and even posted your penis on the internet but still couldn’t find any takers. Isn’t that embarrassing? I am actually embarrassed for you. I’m sort of embarrassed to even be your girlfriend right now.”
Even if he didn’t plan to go through with anything the thought was still there. Im sorry you’ve had to go through this it’s awful. Im not gonna say leave because I know it’s not as Black and white as people think. If you want to stay I’d talk to him and tell him it’s a deal breaker and if he continues to do this you will leave.