Looking for some general advice/tips from people who may or not have been in my situation or a related one. Kind of two part question.
Long story short, new job starting in February. Have struggled financially the last 4-5 years during and after graduating college. I have had the same partner all throughout college and we’ve been together for going on 5 years this year. they were fortunate enough to support us financially when I couldn’t. Moved out of state with them while they got their first offer. Now with my offer coming up we’re trying to figure out our next steps.
Personally, because I know home ownership is my goal and ASAP I’m open to staying in my parent’s basement temporarily. My partner however is not open to that at all and understandably so just due to past history. I’m not trying to find myself in a situation I have for the last 4-5 years where it feels like I can never save money because they’re is always a bill due or something that can be done.
My partner would like for us to move into another apartment together and prepare by saving now. My issue with that is what’s being proposed is living off of my monthly income about 2k while saving there’s, but all the while it keeps being brought up how when I start the new job we should stay double income, they don’t want to quit their job immediately especially given this economy, they want to continue building experience and the experiencing they’re gaining won’t be offered elsewhere but they hate the long hours, environment, etc. Partner has said they will still apply to more jobs and hopefully they secure one in the area I’d be moving to by or before February but if not it seems like they will stay with current company in which they have a traveling position under.
TL;DR:
Person A (myself) is coming into a new job that doesn’t start until February. Person A has debt that is not paid off and makes about 2k per month as is. Person B has been doing the greater of supporting the relationship financially over the last 4-5 years. We basically lived together throughout college. I had an off campus apartment, they had on campus living and a car. Person B received great offer in their respective field after college, Person A moved with Person B, until recently, Person B was paying for everything. Person A now makes enough to contribute and has been but still not Person B amount. Person B does not like job due to long hours and not enough pay for job being done. Person A and Person B trying to decide next steps for moving in February. Person A will make significantly more come February but prioritizes owning before renting at a market price of 3k per month on both ends.
My questions that I have and looking for advice on:
- How or should I even sternly advocate or make the decision that me staying with my parent temporarily is the best for the future and lifestyle I’d want us to have?
- Am I being selfish?
- Should I just dish out the 3k plus in rent until she finds a new job?
- They’re asking me to come up with a plan but I know they’ll feel some type of way if I say I’m going to stay with my parent for X amount of time until I can buy my own property? And for me it’s more so like I feel bad to be at home paying no rent while they’d still be traveling with the job they don’t like or until they get a new one paying rent on whatever living arrangement they find themself in for the job because of the history but I’m at a point where I can put my pride to the side and not forget but accept what the past was to get to where I want in the future.
To clarify this is someone I want to marry we just share different opinions on the path to home ownership.