I’m a 20F and my boyfriend is 22M. We’ve been together for 3 years.
Right now, he’s going through a serious personal crisis. He’s facing a difficult life situation that he can’t control directly, so the only option is to shift his mindset — something he’s actively trying to do.
On top of that, he’s someone who regularly gives emotional support to others. A lot of people rely on him as a kind of advisor or counselor, and this has been emotionally draining for him.
At the moment, he’s mentally exhausted and doesn’t want to engage in everyday conversations or receive emotional support — which is usually my way of showing love and care. I’ve never faced a situation like this, and I don’t really know what practical help I can give him.
That said, I don’t want to distance myself or appear emotionally absent, especially since he’s mentioned that too much withdrawal from me feels like abandonment. I want to support him in a way that truly helps and doesn’t make things harder for him.
So I’m asking: What can I say or do to support him without overwhelming him? How can I stay present and avoid being passive, while also respecting the space and type of support he needs right now?
TL;DR:
My boyfriend (22M) is going through a personal crisis and is emotionally drained from helping others. He doesn’t want emotional support or conversation right now, but I (20F) don’t want to step back too far and seem distant. How can I support him without overwhelming him or being passive?