Not going to be an interesting or dramatic post but just looking for some honest advice and opinions.
TLDR: Partner has issues I can’t fully comfort/be there for, and it’s taking a toll on the both of us.
I’ve been together with my partner for almost 3 years and we both met and are currently studying in a tough postgraduate course. It can be difficult and stressful, which really takes its toll over time. Through this, she has suffered from PMDD which has fluctuated in severity while she has tried some medication for it. We are fairly different in expressing our own problems as well, with her being both more sensitive to and expressive regarding them. However I tend to be less affected by things, and have always been able to just sort of quash any negative emotions if given enough time (days/weeks).
I’ve reached a point where I feel like I may not be the best person for her, as the stress of everything going on in life has been piling up, and I barely have the energy left to truly listen and be there for her. She can be upset nearly every day at times over various things and although I am happy to be there for her, I feel like I don’t have it in me to adequately comfort and accompany her all the time. I could be having an already tough/stressful day and looking forward to a nice goodnight call with her, but she may have feelings or issues that make the entire call very heavy.
I love her dearly and have never felt both happier yet helpless and frustrated at times. As stress has been piling, we’ve begun to have more conflicts and it’s reached a point where we have started to cross some relationship rules we’ve set (never going to sleep without fully talking through issues). It recently manifested as her calling with more issues she encountered through the day, some of which were involving/targeting me on things I could’ve done better. I responded more harshly than I would’ve liked because this involved something we’ve discussed several times before. There is much more context to both sides of this, and I hope this provides some gist but not any judgement to either side (as to who was right etc) for this specific instance.
I am not sure if I should try talking to her about this burnout, or if considering leaving her would be best for her. With how sensitive she is to serious topics, I’m sure she’ll be hurt one way or another if told anything along the lines of “getting upset too much/often”, or that I can’t deal with it as much as I would like to.
I guess I want to ask if it’s something I should tell her about, knowing that it has some medical background, and that it may become something that will always sit at the back of her mind.
Otherwise, would considering leaving her be in her best interests? Or am I just avoiding the process of developing a better way to respond to her?
Apologies if it’s vague but feel free to ask for contextual info if it helps.