Looking for relationship advice as 17M with 18F?

I just really feel like I needed advice on a couple of things because this is my first relationship and I feel I’m out of the so-called “honey-moon” phase, so I feel I’m starting to see things as they actually are. She is bisexual and has never been in a relationship with a guy before. So we started to become good friends this August 2024 but at this time she had been in a relationship since March 2024. The year progressed and she and her girlfriend broke up mainly because of the distance between them as one was in college the other still in high school. Then in January – February 2025 is when we became very close and long story short we became official on valentines day.

My first thing during the first few months of our relationship she still actively kept up with her ex who was at college atp, but she was like I have nothing to worry about. And I’m about to skip forward to present day. We’ve been dating for 5 months atp and have done sexual things but have never actually had sex. Now I know there is plenty more to relationships than this and I’m very young but had sex with the girl mentioned previously before. And according to my knowledge I don’t know the first time they had sex but I know it was within the first two to two and a half months of their relationship. So it just makes me thing what’s different about me considering its been five months and she knows that I have condoms and she’s gotten on birth control a month ago per her mother’s request. Now obviously I know the biggest difference is that her ex was a female and I’m male and my girlfriend is rightfully so scared of pregnancy, but she knows we both are going to very safe because I’m equally scared of being a teen parent. But over the course of our relationship she has made multiple sexual innuendos, but I’m still astronomically confused with what she even wants. But I don’t know if I wanna bring it up because I like her and don’t want to seem like I’m in it just for sex.

Next, sometimes it feels as thought she’s in very ranging moods. Like for instance, we’ll be on the phone and she’s not really talking and doesn’t seem as though she wants to, even though I’m trying. And I am a person that works off of energy received, so if they energy isn’t good I’m not giving good energy back. But she says that she wants to kinda sit in silence, but at the same time have me there with her to sit in silence. It just the fact that I don’t know that, so when this happens it feels like she doesn’t want to talk to me so it makes me not want to talk to her. And then she tries to talk to me when she realizes that I’ve stopped trying to create conversation, but atp I’m pretty checked out, which I should work on it’s just hard to not think like she’s not doing it cause she wants to.

Then, there was a period of time where we barely got to see each and I barely got to kiss her like I wanted to. Like there were times we do like a peck on the lips but I was trying to make out cause it had been so long. And there were plenty of opportunities for this and we’re not about pda but there were still ample chances to do it in places like our vehicles or her house. But during this period I she would try to kiss me on my neck because she said she likes it and it feels nice on my end, but I felt like she was barely even trying to kiss or make out with me so why would I want her to kiss me on my neck. I guess I just kinda felt like she cared about what she wanted and not really want I wanted, but after telling her about this she’s tried to fix it but it just feels forced now and some points.

Another point is the statement “I love you”. Five months in and we haven’t said it and I’ve felt like saying but I’ve just felt scared. The reason for this is because before we became a thing in her prior nine month relationship she never said it to her girlfriend one time even though it was continued to be told to her. And at first I didn’t really feel the urge to, but as time progressed when we got off the phone it felt like something was missing but I was scared of that something because of what I heard from her past. But with the past month it has started to feel the need to say it less and less because of everything that I’ve noticed that has happened recently.

And it feels like she barely wants me to do things for her but yet she tries to do things for me. Such as paying for food or driving her around. With driving her we both have out license and own vehicles, but it feels like at every opportunity it would make sense for me to drive and for us to ride together it makes sense she doesn’t want to. For instance, at prom I was assuming I would drive us, but she was like she wanted to take her own vehicle because she likes it more. And every time I told someone about this they were very skeptical. Then with gift giving and paying for food, she has rarely ever paid for let me even try to pay for her stuff and gets mad when I do without her knowing at first. And I’ve gotten her this pair of sweatpants that she hasn’t worn once not even around the house. So I just feel like she doesn’t want to tell me certain things and sometimes sees me as some sort of accessory for the time being. I say this because one time we were in the car together talking about her plan for college and she said “Who ever I’m talking to in college” which really threw me for a loop. For one I know relationships where the couples are separated by grade and one graduates early doesn’t last long, let alone high school relationships, but I feel as though she should try to have optimism when it comes to that at least.

But to wrap this all up I really just don’t know what to do at this point. Like today we were in my car after a target run and I thought we would chill for a second, but she told me that she had to go home cause her mom wanted to talk. Come to find out after I texted to see if she was all good she said her social battery had ran out, but it had nothing to do with me and she promised me that. Her saying this didn’t make me mad it was the fact that she basically lied to me about having to leave because her mom wasn’t even at home when she told me that, but I told her that she could’ve just said that she wanted to go and chill by herself and not lie about it. She later apolized and you’re right thats on me. But I’m really just confused about this stuff wanted some advice over everything. I’m going to sleep on this too just to clean my head and stuff.

And sorry I don’t feel like doing a TLDR I too tired.