My husband and I are hoping to start the home buying process here within the next year. We previously were looking a little bit but not super seriously. When we were kind of looking before we used my husband’s aunt as our realtor. We were hoping to use her again however…. My husband is in a better position financially than I am, my financial situation is… not amazing. I fucked around when I was young and screwed myself over to the point where my credit is not very good. I’m trying to get things back on track and am getting there but I am also working significantly less right now due to primarily mental health reasons. I fear that if we use his aunt as a realtor again that if I choose to apply for a loan despite my situation – she will tell her sister (my MIL) and the rest of the family about where I am at financially. And if I don’t apply for the loan and my husband applies alone, she will connect the dots and still tell her sister and family.
II already have a strained relationship with MIL and most of hubbies family. It hasn’t happened recently but MIL has in the past questioned me about how much I work, how much I make, and has repeatedly told me I need to contribute more because “my husband can’t do it on his own.” I know me not working a ton is obviously not ideal but I make enough money per hour in my role for us to make it work (we just don’t live a lavish lifestyle like the rest of his family does and expects from us and we are fine with that) and MIL does not know or understand this and it feels weird and wrong to just outwardly tell her how much I make? But maybe that’s what I need to do at this point, idk. I feel like I don’t need to add more fuel to the fire and give the family even more reason to dislike and speak badly of me – they would never understand, especially about my mental health (when I have tried to talk to MIL about my mental health and working in the past all she said was “well when are you going to get better and work more?” – like bitch if it were only that easy). However, if we don’t use her – we know that she will be furious, questions will be asked and shit will still be talked and I will likely be villainized yet again.
If we decide to use his aunt for some reason – I’m sure there’s some way she could face consequences for sharing our personal information with others, right? But I probably don’t want to put myself in a position where I have to report her or something and make myself even more of a villain in everyone’s eyes.
There’s probably a good chance I’m overthinking this and just need to get over being villainized because it’s going to happen either way lol. I just thought I’d put this out there to rant and see other people’s thoughts and experiences. I probably already know everyone’s advice haha.
Also – when we were looking before, she would invite MIL to showings without asking or telling us – MIL would just show and be like “surprise!” and that made me uncomfortable and felt unprofessional as well – probably even more reason to look elsewhere.
So if anyone knows a good realtor in Indianapolis area let me know lol that’s the only advice I would like right now.
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