34F and 35M. Walked away from my husband in March as I knew we were both unhappy in our marriage. There’s been 10 years of verbal and emotional abuse. I suggested therapy and that was rejected. I suggested we both needed to find our happiness individually then come together and find it together again.
Since then, I’ve tried to have conversations to see if we can gradually work on the relationship but felt like I got rejected. It’s been stated that he’s been over me for awhile and that we’re not together. One night I left with another man to sleep on his couch as I was drinking. I received hurtful text messages from my husband and I ended up sleeping with the man. I know I made the wrong choice. I was hurt and felt like the same vicious cycle was happening.
I know I was constantly trying to make my marriage work and should’ve never made this choice. We own a house and have assets, no children, only pets. How do I move forward?
TL;DR/relationships
Comments
So you’re no longer with your husband and he wasn’t (and still isn’t) interested in working through your marriage’s problems? I’m trying to understand the problem here aside from the fact that you haven’t finalized your divorce?
He has told you he’s been over you for a while- yet you’re the one feeling bad for being with another man?
Your marriage is and has been over since March. You just didn’t want to accept that.
Stop allowing him to make you feel any
way. Start thinking of him as your past. Get out of that house. You own half, he can’t take that away from you.
Talk to a divorce lawyer, figure out an equitable distribution and serve him papers. Then find a therapist so you don’t end up with that same type of abusive guy.