Hello all,
I am going through a very difficult time at the moment in my relationship. I am left feeling like there is nothing I can do to fix it as I feel like I have been cornered.
To clarify I had a relationship before this one in which I had 1 child. I am trying to put my child at forefront of my decisions and working out who can be introduced into their life as the reason I am not with the mother anymore is that she cheated on me.
Fast forward I am now in a new relationship of just over a year. There has been many lovely moments, primarily in the first 3 months, but then a veil started to come off and I saw some very worrying behaviours. Behaviours such as jealousy, in that my current partner was wanting me to compare everything in our relationship to my previous one to “make sure it was better”. These conversations were very heated on their part and I struggled with the questions as they were very in depth. It also made me anxious of their past, something which I had not thought about at all.
Moving forward, it was then I noticed that no matter what I do, I will always be remembered for the one “bad” thing I do and that nothing good I do is remembered or really quite frankly thanked in a meaningful way.
The last point is that she is asking strange questions, like who would you save if you had to pick one, your ex or me, to which I say you, but I would rather you don’t ask those questions as my ex dying would greatly affect my child’s mental health. She has also wanted to spend time with me to which I have arranged childcare with my parents, but she says this is not good enough, as she wants me to show her that I will inconvenience my ex for her, in a way to show I prioritise her feelings and also at times I have been asked by her if I can prioritise her over my child.
It’s now got to the point where I do love her, but I am unsure if it can be fixed or if I am dealing with a big issue here.
I’ve asked to go to counselling, but my friends tell me it’s just a personality issue that most likely cannot be sorted and will end up affecting my child in the long term.
TL;DR Year long relationship, complicated talks, childcare disagreements and wondering if there is any resolution that would be good
Comments
Listen to your friends.