How would you respond if your child asked to see MIL. We are just recently no contact and very happy with our decision. MIL also favours one child and ignores the other. Child in question is 4 and the one that has been love bombed by her so he adores her. My daughter couldn’t care less as she’s the one that’s been ignored, she’s 2
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Other posts from /u/kiwigirlie:
MIL on pregnancy losses, 6 days ago
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Deck Oiling MIL and abandonment, 2 weeks ago
Deck Oiling MIL – Her Bday, 3 weeks ago
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Deck Oiling MIL – daughters bday party, 1 month ago
Deck Oiling MIL Again, 1 month ago
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Speak in a way that he would understand. JNMil is in time out because although she is kind to you she isn’t kind to everybody and we are helping her learn she needs to treat our family the same.
Distract and divert.
“When are we seeing grammie? I want to play at Grammies house”
“We don’t have any plans for that, but we could go to the park and feed the ducks, how about that?”
If 4yo keeps asking and asking, it may be appropriate to say, we’re not seeing grammie for now because we’re trying to find a way to all be kinder to eachother. She’s kind of in adult reflection time, and we will let you know when that changes. When we see her again, we want everyone to be in a good mood about it. Don’t worry, there’s nothing you or your sister did that made this happen, grammie was acting out, not you. Meanwhile, we can set up a playdate with X or Y person, would you like that?
I would explain in an age appropriate way that MIL has not been nice so she’s not allowed to visit with your family. Explain why … kids see a lot more than we think and you don’t have to say anything too detailed.
Have a plan for straight after this conversation, “I know you’re disappointed about not seeing grandma but I have an idea, why don’t we go to the playground instead then we can go grab ice cream afterwards, fun right?”