Part of handling the mental load is being the Family Photographer. I now have a ton of pictures of my husband with my new baby and very few pictures with me. The ones I have are from friends who insisted on taking pictures. At the time I thought maybe, oh no, I don’t look that great. But how precious they are to have.
This is a thing!! We had almost no pictures of my mom when she died. She was always ducking out of photos because she wasn’t wearing makeup, or clothes she liked, or whatever. If you go to the Photoshop Requests subreddit, you’ll see family members trying to piece something together for the funeral. It’s really sad.
So take those pictures and get pictures of yourself. Even better, share the burden.
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Yes I am fat and have a double chin, but that’s who you love. I look like I look. if you never let people take pictures there will never be “good” ones.
I don’t take pictures. I never think to. It’s actually my husband that is the photographer and I try to remember to take pictures of him.
But I agree with forcing myself to be in pictures even if I don’t look my best. I have so few pictures of my grandma. She hated having her photo taken. My mom is the same. Hates every picture of herself.
But I look at the pictures of them I do have and just see my grandma and mom. I don’t see the imperfections. So I force myself into pictures for my daughter and then also I don’t criticize my appearance when we look at them. I hate it but I know she will appreciate it.
It’s like, we’re always the ones snapping pics for fam reunions and holidays, and that’s sweet n’ all, but we gotta start asking for them back… or demanding our own! I mean, deep down it’s not about the pics, is it? It’s about being seen, heard, respected as equals. So yeah, maybe we are a bit “extra” wanting those selfies… but hey, in this man’s world we live in, that little bit of extra might just make us whole.
My wife does this. She either magically disappears or worries so hard about looking awkward, she ends up looking awkward. I have to sneak pictures to catch her acting natural. For a while i didn’t take picures with her in it. She doesnt want it, i respect it. But that’s no long term solution.
We talked about it and she is aware and improving. (along with the underlying reasons i wont talk about here) To avoid being sneaky, i snap a pictue and then show her. If she says delete, then it’s gone. Turns out she likes most of them anyway, which helps her self esteem
Meanwhile someone’s going on about how great a dad your partner is, because they’re seeing so many cute photos of them (clean, dressed, fed, happy) with the (clean, dressed, fed, happy) kiddo. Mom must not be as engaged because she’s never there, or she looks exhausted and not put together. B*tch who you think is taking the photo??
As someone who hates taking pictures of themselves this makes sense. I might not like how I look, but my loved ones do. Also, this is the only form I’m gonna get, I should start treating it better.
Thanks for the reminder. I rarely put make up on, but will start to do so when I go out with my kid and husband and ASK to be taken pictures.
I’m also the family photographer and while I don’t mind being in pics without makeup and so on, I’m always thinking about how they don’t look great.
I’ll also make a point of taking pictures of other mums😊
My wife hates having her picture taken and being in pictures. In our family, I take all the photos, and we have come to an agreement; I am allowed to take photos of her, but I can’t share them with anyone.
I figure this is a fair compromise so that we have photos of her for the future but she doesn’t have to have anyone see them now.
…with consent. Don’t force this on anyone.
My girlfriend won’t allow pictures of herself. We’ve been dating for over two years and I have zero pictures of her. It’s because of past trauma. My last tropical vacation with her had all these weird pictures of scenery but none of her.
The only time I’m ducking out of a photo is if I’ve got the breast pumps on. Luckily my husband is huge on taking pictures (me not so much).
Yes especially since you look amazing in those horrid pics when you look at them a few years later