M/20 – How to start a conversation respectfully with a girl (F/20) I’m interested in?

r/

I (M/20) am interested in a girl (F/20) who works at a shop I visited. We’ve only had brief interactions and never exchanged names, but I was curious and asked a friend who knows her. They helped me find her name and Instagram.

I’d like to message her, but since we’ve never really talked, I want to approach it in a respectful and non-intrusive way. I’m not sure how to open the conversation without making her uncomfortable or seeming like I’m coming on too strong.

What are some good ways to start a casual, friendly message that could potentially lead to a real conversation? I’m hoping to get to know her better, but I also want to make sure I’m being considerate. Appreciate any tips or suggestions!

Comments

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  2. Business_Mastodon_97 Avatar

    There are zero respectful ways to DM her and not freak her out. Just go into the store and have a conversation with her.

  3. martistarfighter Avatar

    As a girl, I can tell you for a fact approaching her via DMs without ever exchanging socials/numbers would NOT be appreciated.

    If you want to shoot your shot, ask her if she’d like to grab a coffee or an ice cream together after her shift one of these days — as long as you’re prepared to accept a hypothetical polite refusal without putting her in an awkward position in the future.

  4. gimme_super_head Avatar

    “Hey I was wondering If you’re not busy after work, would you like to grab a drink/coffee/whatever one of these days?”

  5. wizdofoz Avatar

    Dude , you’ve already had small talk with her. Continue that and next time introduce yourself , then when you about to leave .. just say “ I’ve really enjoyed talking to you , would you like to continue this chat over coffee sometime “ ? That’s all , balls in her court .., and then importantly accept the response .