I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years. About 1.5 years ago, we moved in together. Things were fine at first, but over time we drifted a bit apart because of both working full-time jobs. We were tired most days, but we still went to parties, concerts, dinners, etc.
The problems started when she went to an adventure park with her company. She sent me pictures and I noticed one guy was way too close to her. I mentioned it, but I trusted her and let it go. After that, she started wearing more makeup. When I asked about it, she said it had nothing to do with anyone, just something she wanted to do.
We usually game together and sometimes with friends, but not super often. Then one day, she was in a call with someone I didn’t know. When I asked, she said it was just a coworker. Later she told me she thought I already knew who he was, which wasn’t true. I tried to be reasonable and said she can play with him but not to overdo it.
At a coworker’s birthday party, I met the guy. Honestly, he gave me a lot of red flags. He’s single, seemed desperate for attention, not good looking (in my opinion), and even said he would never work anything other than retail. I didn’t want to start a fight, so I kept quiet at the party. The next day, I told her I didn’t like him and didn’t trust him. She defended him and said he had no intentions.
Over the next days, she kept choosing to play with him instead of me. When I confronted her, she admitted she might have feelings for him. I overreacted and pushed her to choose, which scared her. Later I apologized, but since then, things have been rough.
Right now, I’m trying everything to win her back. But she won’t cut contact with him, and honestly, it feels like she’s just waiting it out, hoping the problem resolves it self. If it weren’t for our apartment and pets, I think I would’ve already ended things. But I don’t want to lose it all.
Moving out would also mean i would have to go back to my parents, because alone i cant afford a place until next year, when I’m done with my job training.
Am I stupid for still trying? Or does anyone have tips on how I can win her back?
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its over she is emotionally cheating and is trying to monkey branch gonna get worse.
Unless you’re desperate I have no idea why you would even consider salvaging this relationship. People don’t say they may have feelings for someone else while living with their partner they have been with for 3 years. That’s disrespectful and you should remember that anyone worth a grain of salt wouldn’t treat you or their relationship like that. And if she continues hanging out with him, her feelings may only deepen.
Stay if you want, lose your self respect. Or get your ducks in a row and leave. But then again, only you know truly how you feel and what is going on behind closed doors or how she said it. I can only go off the post.