M20 and me F21 planned 10 days together now he says he can only see me for 3. Is this legit?

Hi, I (F21) would love some outside opinions on something that’s been on my mind.

A few months ago, I met a guy (M20 ) while studying abroad in Lisbon. We had a great connection, and we stayed in touch after I moved back to England. Almost 2 months ago, we made plans to meet up again and spend nine days together on the California coast. just the two of spending time together. I already have spent a lot of money on flights tickets.

We decided on Santa Barbara, and I booked my trip for August 2rd to 11th. Everything was set. But then, 2 weeks ago, after we made those plans, his grandfather suddenly passed away. The funeral is on August 7th in his hometown of Sacramento, which is a 6 hours drive to santa barbara. But his family is already arriving one week before the funeral to his parents house on the 31th of july and will stay with his parents for one whole week, which also feels off for me.

I understand that this is a hard time for his family, and I truly want to be respectful of that. What confused me, though, is that instead of trying to adjust the plan together, he initially said we should just cancel the whole thing altogether. He didn’t really ask how I felt or try to find a compromise.

It was only after I brought it up again a few times that he finally said he could maybe come from monday (Aug 4) to thursday (Aug 7) and only because he had a big argument with his mom and that’s all she would “allow.”

I asked if we might still be able to see each other on Saturday, August 2, or if he could return after the funeral for even a day or two (I’d still be there until the 11th). But he said that his mom wouldn’t allow it, and that she wants him to stay with the family the entire time outside of those 2–3 days. He also said they had a big fight about it, and those few days were the best he could manage.

So now, even though I’ll be in Santa Barbara for nine full days, I’d only see him for 2–3 days max, and there’s no flexibility before or after.

On the one hand, I want to be understanding grief is real, and family matters. But on the other hand, I can’t help but wonder:
• Is it realistic that he has absolutely no control over his schedule at this age?
• Would someone who’s truly excited to see me not try to make it work differently?
• Am I being too rigid, or does this situation feel… off? Especially because the funeral is almost 4 weeks later after his grandpa‘s death and that he is not able to come back after the funeral. I have the fear that he is lying and does not really want to spend time with me. Maybe I am also too insecure.

Would you still go on this trip? Does this sound like someone who’s being honest but overwhelmed or someone who’s pulling away?

Thanks in advance, just trying to make sense of the whole thing.

TL;DR:
Planned a 9-day trip to reconnect with a guy I met abroad. After his grandfather passed away, he said he could only see me for 2–3 days because of family obligations. He originally wanted to cancel entirely and only agreed to a short visit after I brought it up multiple times. Now I’m wondering if this is understandable given the situation or if something feels off. Would you still go?