M26, F25, slowly falling for each other but it’s like we’re both driving with handbrakes on. How do you let go of the fear?

Hey everyone,
I’m in a relationship that’s slowly becoming something real. And honestly? It scares me a little. Maybe it scares both of us.

For context: I was in a long-term relationship for 8 years, which ended largely because of my repeated cheating. I’m not proud of that. I was insecure, constantly seeking external validation, and I ended up hurting someone who didn’t deserve it. That chapter is closed now, but of course, it still leaves its mark.

The person I’m currently seeing was, ironically, the last person I cheated with. What started as something superficial, messy, and impulsive has slowly transformed into something… grounding. She’s been there for me in a way I didn’t expect. There’s mutual support, depth, and this lightness when we’re together that feels incredibly rare.

But here’s the thing:
Even though we’re clearly into each other, we’re both moving forward with the brakes on.
There’s this unspoken caution: don’t get too attached, don’t say anything too big, don’t move too fast.

And yet, we are getting attached.
And that’s what’s so strange, we’re both feeling something real, but instead of leaning in, we’re tiptoeing.
Like we’re afraid that if we fully surrender to it, it might crash. Or worse: we might become “a couple” in the full, vulnerable sense of the word and that’s what truly scares us.

I’m not worried about cheating again. I’ve done a lot of internal work, and I feel very clear about the kind of person I want to be. This isn’t about trust issues, not really. It’s about intimacy anxiety, that subtle fear of fully opening up, of being seen, of not being enough, or being too much.

So I’m wondering:
Has anyone else felt this?
That fear of something becoming real, not because it’s bad, but because it’s good?

How do you know when to stop holding back?
How do you move past the phase where you’re both watching your steps, and finally just… live the relationship?

Thanks for reading. Any thoughts are truly appreciated.

TL;DR:
I’m developing something deep with someone I really connect with, but both of us seem to be holding back out of fear. It’s like we’re slowly falling for each other, but walking on eggshells, afraid of becoming “a couple” for real. How do you let go and just live the relationship without anxiety getting in the way?