My fiancé 33F and I 30M got engaged about a year ago. We have been together for about 7 years.
We started wedding planning and none of the concerns I had got any better, and if anything got worse. We were planning a wedding at Disney, fast forward to this week and we we’ve been at Disney for a week and she’s complained about everything I’ve done for the better part of a week, plus we were at a conference for my work the previous week and she was complaining there. I am a bit of redneck and drinker, but was like that when we met. Now she is always negatively commenting anytime I drink or when I’m being “country”.. today was the straw that broke the camels back when I was shooting the crap with some other guy at the bar. She starts her whole complaint and negatively rigmarole.. on the way back to our resort I told her it’s over.. I can’t do this anymore. It’s been a long time coming as I’ve tried to talk to her about this before but it fell on deaf ears…
So we had already invited guests via mailed invites and such.
How do I break it to everyone that it is over?..
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You were at Disney for her right – she gives off Disney princess vibes sorry to hear about this. You should be able to chill and have alone time the way you want
Congrats on dodging the tactical nuke
There’s no “good” way to break the news. Get the guest list, send paper letters and email (where possible) to everyone apologizing for the inconvenience. Don’t involve your ex and don’t smack talk her either, just something simple like, “I’ve decided that marriage is not right for me at this time, thank you for your understanding”.
Just have to rip up off the bandage and break things off. If she is criticizing your “countriness” and you feel like that is core to you as a person, that’s pretty insurmountable.
As for what to do about the wedding and guests, I’d just type a letter (possibly use chatgpt to help if writing isn’t your stong suit) about how much you appreciate them and their willingness to come support you, but you’ve decided to not go forward with the wedding.
Simple advice : Run.
Tell them it’s off, you’re sorry, and that the upside is they won’t be having to hear about your divorce or fucked up kids years from now. As a F62 my hope for you is you please follow through and end this. Whatever else you guys are you’re not life mates.
Tell them. Best option, only option. You don’t want her as a wife
Just like you sent the invitations.
Send a note to the same group of people that the wedding is off. Easy peasy. Unless she did all the work for your wedding… then it may be a bit harder- but that’s on you.
Red flag when you consider yourself a red neck, and drinker. Probably saved her from making a big mistake.