Hi Everyone!
So here is my situation. Me (F36) and Hubby (M36) have been married for almost 10 years.
Throughout those 10 years, I worked for 7 of them while he stayed home. We didn’t have a car at the time so I walked or biked to work everyday. I did this through 2 pregnancies. During 1 maternity leave he did go to school and got his ged so he was bringing in some money through student loans and such. Other then that he stayed home with the kids.
We lived off of my 1 income for (like i said) 7 years. One year we did not have the money to get our taxes done and we went the whole year without child tax. (If anyone here is from Canada u understand the financial strain that could cause).
Anyways, last year I lost my job due to the company selling a bunch of locations. With this i decided to go Back to school. I did college all while dealing with the kids (we have 4 kids all under 12 years of age).
During my time at school hubby found a job! And a good one too! He does work nights and I know it can be stressful and very exhausting. But now we never see him. I’m practically a single mother. He comes home from work and stays in the bedroom and plays video games until he is tired enough to go to sleep.
He talks about how the house isn’t his anymore because I’ve done some rearranging, but he is never a part of it so how would he ever feel like it was his house?
When it worked, whether u worked OT, an opening shift, a clopen (closing one night opening the next day) I was always in the living room with them. Helping hanging out. Even if I didn’t do much I was there. I still bathed the babies and out them to bed every night. I still ate supper with everyone no matter how tired I was.
Why does he feel he shouldn’t have to follow the same standards?
I haven’t had anyone really in my life but him for almost 13 years now. I don’t really have friends, me and my mom JUST started talking again but she is a pretty busy person, my brother is in thenmilitary and my sister and I don’t really talk. I have noone. I get very lonely and I’m scared the loneliness will make me do something stupid.
I love my husband so so much. But being alone all the time with 3 year old twins and not having anyone else to talk to is incredibly lonely. I’m getting to a point where I am getting very angry at him.because of this and couldnt find it in my heart to say so.
Over the weekend we were drinking and it all kinda came pouring out. Everything from “younhave never bought me a bday present” to “you lwt your pregnant ass wife walk to work while u sat on ur ass”. It was pretty ugly.
Has anyone else been here? Or maybe in the Realm of “here” ? I could really use some insight. I don’t want to ruin my marriage because he got a job but I feel like since got a job he has forgotten about us.
TL,DR: Husband got a job after 7 years and forgot how to be a part of the family
Anyways thanks for listening