Is there a secret to it? I have plenty of friends that I play basketball, but we never hang out outside of that. Back in high school my friends and I would just show up at each other’s houses and spend all day just chatting. I’ve lived in this town for a while and haven’t met anyone I feel like that would make sense with. But I miss it. Maybe I’ve become too intellectual and picky or something… hoping to gain some perspective here
I guess I also feel like if no one asks me to hang out they must not want to, or think I’m weird or something. A couple of my basketball friends are buddies with another friend of mine and they all went to a hockey game and didn’t invite me which makes me feel like they’d rather not have me there.
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… I don’t mean to sound silly but have you asked the people you play basketball with to hang out in other ways?
>I have plenty of friends that I play basketball, but we never hang out outside of that
Have you tried?
Sometimes you get a large group of people who all want to hang out more, but none of them actually suggest it.
You can do that? Have friends without the same hobbies?
Are you friendly with anyone at work? That’s often a likely place to meet like-minded people you get along with. You have lunch a couple times and then maybe go to a party or something of one of their friends, etc. Also, are you single? Do you have any older friends / classmates in this newer town you live in? But finally, meeting hobby-based friends often turns into just regular old “let’s hang out” friends. Although in my experience the all day hang out tends to be less common in your 30s — due to relationships, job, family, etc. You mentioned being too picky — are you sure you’re not maybe a little shy / nervous about hanging out with people you know less well? That is, that the opportunities are there and you’re just not taking them?