I was standing on a fairly busy bus when a woman left her seat to get off. A man and I were both standing near the newly vacated seat and the man told me I should sit. I took my headphone to ask, “What?”
“Have a seat.” He smiled at me.
“Nah, I’m good, thanks.” I moved to put my headphone back in, but he wasn’t done.
“Well, I’m not going to sit, so you should.”
“I’m fine. Someone else can have it.”
“Well, there’s no one e-“
“I’m sexually assaulted every time I sit!” I finally exploded. “I’m not sitting down!”
It’s true. I sat 10 years ago and was pinned against the window as a man put his hands all over me. A few months ago, I decided to treat myself and break my no-sitting streak and a man got on and started petting my hair with the presence of holding the bar by my head.
He very quickly dropped it and it was a silent ride to the train station for him and the entire ridership, but JEEZ, he wasn’t the a savior he thought he was being, he was a pushy “nice guy”.
Comments
I’m sorry that happened to you. What an ass. I hope he learns from this, that no really means no the first time!
I’m sorry you’ve experienced that.
He should have accepted the first no, really sad to hear your experience. I had a similar one, was on a bus and a guy behind me started chatting then asked to sit next to me. I said that’s fine as I assumed he just wanted to chat, he then decided to stroke my hair and I screamed on the bus and told him to sit back in the other seat. He proceeded to do so.
It stopped being a kindness when he kept disrespecting your No.
There is only 2 letters in no, was it the n or the o you didn’t understand?
I’m reminded of my friend’s story- she went on a first date with a guy who insisted on being “chivalrous” and opening her door for her. When she told him that she didn’t care for that, he just talked about how respectful he was to women since he opened doors for them. He completely missed the point. It’s not nice or respectful if you don’t listen to the person on how they wish to be treated.
I’m sorry he did that and didn’t listen to you. What an entitled fuck. I hate that we aren’t safe in public.
What the hell is wrong with the men where you live
Jesus Christ! Before I read that last part I was going to comment “Aggressive courtesy isn’t actually very courteous,” but damn. I’m sorry you and so many others have had to go through things like that. That shit should not happen in the world.
This happened to me recently. This guy in a huge truck was the last in a line of traffic, and he slowly came to a stop to “let me go”which already was slower than if he had just gone through, he had no stop sign. but he was blocking the lane I needed to turn to. He kept waving,I kept waving, then I had to roll my window down “I need you to go, please, so I can get through” meet with him screaming, red faced, “IM BEING NICE, YOU STUPID BITCH”
Can I chime in? I’m so irritated every time a man waves me on (I’m driving, he’s walking or also driving) when it’s ALREADY my turn. Like, thank you, your highness, for so graciously giving me permission to take my own damn turn!
I’m really sorry about your experience. I understand how horrifying this is. had a man sit next to me, trapping me in the window seat on a bus and press himself against me, and lay his head on my shoulder as if he were going to take a nap. I froze in horror for a bit, unsure what to do, then just started yelling, “Get UP!! Get off me!! NOW!.” He very slowly lifted his head enough to smirk at me as if I were being “cute”. I actually had to push him off me violently as the bus driver was looking in the rearview mirror and preparing to pull over and intervene.
Another time, a man started unpacking his briefcase next to me (again on a bus) and put his jacket, headphones, and a book on my lap as if I were his personal tabletop to use. It was outright bizarre.
What in the epic fuck is wrong with these men?
I’m sorry to hear that happened to you, but I’m so here for the r/TraumatizeThemBack energy.
I’m proud of you for –first assessing the situation for safety– and then sticking up for yourself.
Silly woman, you don’t understand! Not taking no for an answer is the peak of kindness that a man can lend
Red.flag. if they try to turn your no into a yes
The offer was fine. The high pressure was flat out rude.
Even if you hadn’t been assaulted in the past you have your own reasons for wanting to stand. They are yours.