There are millions of people who are not only bad parents, but are fully aware that their children struggle and STILL don’t care or feel at fault. Unfortunately, it’s more common than not for parents to feel this way. Most often from broken marriages where the kids are truly an after thought and result of a total mistake in their minds.
People HATE accountability. It’s not very fun, I get it. And I’d like to think deep down that some of these shitty parents care about the harm they do to their kids, but sadly, I know most don’t.
One upside may be that shitty parents often raise kids who become good parents, because they’ve seen how neglect looks and understand the damage it causes children.
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a lot of them deny that they ever had anything to do with your trauma, simply because its too hard for them to process all their actions without experiencing shame along with it. for some reason people cant stand to feel shame for their actions and for some reason rather than change, they will continue to ignore their obvious issues until all their relationships have burned to the ground. its truly a self destructive mindset in the long run but i guess they have a mental block preventing them from fixing it ( therapy can help)
There’s a theme in the current show based on the Last of Us videogame that is about how parents are just trying to do better than their parents when they raise their kids. Societal expectations of parenting moved faster than actual parenting. So parents are just trying to do better than their parents did. It’s not always great.
You’re not alone. Some parents don’t deserve to have kids. It sucks. They’ll never see it, never admit to it, and even if they know they have negatively impacted you, they won’t own up to it. They’ll manipulate you and gaslight you to avoid accountability. Just don’t waste your time or mental health with them. Mine are still like that. I love them, but it frustrates me.
Or the kids can stop the cycle by not having children of their own.
I’m not sure this is that unpopular😂
I agree. I was diagnosed with autism as an adult, and my parents couldn’t understand why, despite them, my elementary teachers, and other parents all suspecting I may have it, refusing to get me tested as a child, stunted my emotional development and resulted in behavioral issues.
Now, having the diagnosis, I’m still proud of the person I’ve grown to be, but I would have had a much easier time getting to this point had I been able to seek out resources tailored to my needs more directly. It’s absolutely a symptom of selfish behavior that was enabled in them as children, and their desire to be seen as a normal family, despite having a neurodivergent child.
My father did everything to give me a Good childhood but my mother didn’t, although she never wanted to impact me negatively but she sometimes cared only about herself. She never cut off contacts with her parents and siblings and destroyed her own life and ours too.
A big topic of conversation among my friends and I when we drink is the parenting licence. How can a massive thing like being responsible for another human being for 18 plus years not have any checks or balances. You need to pass a test and have a licence to drive a car but not be a parent? It’s crazy honestly, some parents have kids knowing full well they can’t take care of them.
Some people who shouldn’t have children in the first place.
They pull the “but it hurt me too” card and then they feel better about themselves.
r/raisedbynarcissists
Unpopular Opinion: kids like to grow up and blame their parents for their problems instead of taking accountability for their own actions.
I’ve always thought my parents were somewhat unique in that they 100% understood that their parenting methods would be seen as bad if not outright abusive, and still fully believed that they were in the right and everyone else was wrong. It’s not a dynamic I see mentioned often.
I’ve always been the rule making/enforcing parent, and since 2020 I’m also in charge of school stuff, since I’m a SAHM and our son does virtual school. I’ve always had trouble with being emotionally distant and impatient, and not being gentle when guiding/correcting behavior, but over about a year, I drifted into a pattern of not just more hostile and critical behavior, but actual feelings of like… weirdly intense anger and even weirder satisfaction when my kid fucked up and faced consequences for it, or when he was put in situations that made him uncomfortable and had to tough it out.
This is obviously VERY WRONG AND BAD for all of us.
So I found a therapist and WORKED ON IT.
I’ve made a lot of progress. There’s a lot to go, but it’s so, so much better for EVERYONE to do it.