Hi everyone. I’m 32F, my husband is 34M. We’ve been married for 5 years and have an 8-month-old baby.
Over the years we’ve had arguments — mostly because I get frustrated that he’s lazy, and he feels like I nag or complain too much. Despite this, I always thought we loved each other and would make it through.
Recently, I discovered he’s been chatting with women online (pornwebsite) and masturbating instead of being intimate with me. I noticed he has been watching a trans masturbating. During my pregnancy I tolerated it because sex was painful for me (I also have lupus which makes intimacy harder sometimes). But even after giving birth, he doesn’t seem to want me.
When I confronted him, he told me he still loves me and is attracted to me. But I don’t feel it. It hurts that he prefers these online chats over being with me. I asked him to stop, and he promised he would.
The thing is, he’s a good man in many ways. But I feel betrayed and broken. I’m scared of being alone forever, especially with a baby.
Has anyone gone through something similar? How do I know whether to try to save this or let go?
TL;DR I do t know that to do. Do I have to stay in this relationship because we have a baby, I love him or I should ask for the divorce?
Comments
He’s a good man other than chatting with other women, and getting off to it….being lazy and calling you a nag.
I’d leave. However, if you want to make it work – therapy. If he refuses, he’s telling you your relationship isn’t worth saving.
He says he loves you, but his actions say he doesn’t even respect you.
You do NOT have to stay for the kid. This may be a blessing- your child will not remember you two together.