Not wife, my ex gf. We were traveling in south west China and visiting a tourist town (Li Jiang). The guest house we were staying at had a bunch of dogs and one of them was big and furry; not a breed I recognised.
Anyway it kept “trying to jump up on her legs” as she sat in a large chair in the courtyard of the guest house. She kept encouraging it, holding its two front paws, trying to lift it up with her leg.
I was like WTF? She was confused, I was confused. I explained it to her, she was horrified. The dog was put out in the back yard. End of story.
Marry me with the expectation that I will be absorbed into her family, rather than building a family of our own. And not telling me that until it was too late.
She has a secret little snack stash under the dresser, and late at night eats it like a little squirrel. During the day she eats them in the bathroom. She is a fitness trainer and tells everyone she Fasts 18 hours a day. I know she doesn’t. I just let her have this, even though it makes no sense to me.
my wife will awake in the night, arch her back, let out some bristling choppy clicking sound then moan really loudly. I’ve asked her about it and she has no clue what I’m talking about. Tbh it gets me hard as a rock lol
This one’s a stomach churner. Engaged. Im a fast eater. Im working on it. She’s used to wiping some sauce or whatever off my face and licking it. One time she wiped a booger from under my nose and reflexively licked it. We made knowing eye contact and said nothing and never have but I learned something that day by her lack of gagging, she really really really loves me.
She was a super clean freak but let the little pug dog sleep on the new couch, wedged in between the armrest and a couch pillow. Yet if I laid on that couch to watch the ballgame….
This is about my first wife. She had several nutty behaviours and could get addicted to anything.
In particular she always had s latest song she was addicted to, in some cases for months. She would go in the kitchen and play it loud, on repeat. She would stop if anyone came in because she was shy about what she did when it was playing. We all knew what she did anyway.
She would hold her arms out in front of her body, wrists locked, and spin around rapidly. I think she got high from the dizziness.
Wash shoes in the dishwasher because TikTok said so and refuse to use said dishwasher because it uses too much water. I really hit the lottery with this one.
Not wife yet, but yesterday she rubbed a particularly large piece of sleep out of her eye and popped it into her mouth, she said that it has been smoky lately with wildfires, as if that was all the explanation necessary
Here’s one. My wife loves pink bubblegum ice cream but has a crippling fear of swallowing bubble gum. She, objectively really attractive and has a spectacular rack, will sit in her underwear – and eat the ice cream but will stop and spit out a mound of chewed bubble gum.
It’s revolting but I can’t stop watching. She’s like a model with the personality of a raccoon. Married 20 years and she continues to fascinate me on a daily basis.
Maybe this isn’t the weirdest thing ever, but she’ll often pick up something that I put down (like a water bottle) and then try to give it to me. And I have to either take it and put it back myself or tell her to put to back where she picked it up from.
For me it’s creating complete fantasies to resent me for. It’s bonkers.
One came up the other day while traveling. I have a new job. The week before we left my backup quit. I work remote. I warned her that I had to work 2-3 hours a day to keep certain systems running. I’m literally the only one that can do it. I did exactly what I told her I would. I got up at 5:00 am and worked for 2.5 hours then after everyone went to bed I worked for another hour or 2. Zero impact to trip with the exception that I was extremely tired.
One night we argued and she told me that I ALWAYS work on vacation. I was like wut. I said we were just in Asia for 2 weeks and I didn’t bring my work computer (though I did answer some slacks).
She said on a trip 4 years ago I worked the whole trip. I was shocked. This was an absolute fantasy. I missed our initial flights out because my passport expired. I flew to SF to get a walk in appt at the passport office 3 days later and managed to get my passport renewed then I flew to our foreign destination the next day. She had already been there for 4 days with her sister and BIL. Because I missed the initial flight, I worked those 3 days because why burn vacation days when I don’t need to? So I happened to have my work computer with me but I never opened it in country.
I showed her pictures of our day trips and reminded her how our Airbnb Internet was so bad that it wasn’t even usable 3/4 of the time. It would have been 100% impossible to work. In fact I didn’t even answer slacks because we put the international sim on her phone because it was cheaper, so I didn’t even have my phone with me 90% of the time.
She still doesn’t believe me. She thinks I’m gas lighting her. She’s absolutely convinced that I’m lying to her. She’s even asked her sister and BIL if I worked and they both said they didn’t think so. She still doesn’t believe me.
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened and it’s getting worse. Weird stuff even like something really really mean that she did to me a few years ago for example – she’s now convinced herself that I did it to her.
I don’t know how to address it because she gets defensive and says I’m gas lighting her and she shuts down. It’s gotten so bad that even I start questioning myself when she gets so adamant to the point that I actually started journaling because it’s the only thing I can think of. Any tips or similar experiences would be welcome.
Does ex wife count? She would stand in front of a space heater naked, butt cheeks pulled apart, so the heater would warm her asshole. That should have been my sign to dip.
It’s kinda strange but also very hot. She loves the taste of herself. She will sit in her robe, watch TV or a movie, and be constantly touching herself and licking her finger. At those times, it’s not even a sexual thing for her, more like when people bite their nails or play with their hair but I love watching her do it none the less lol
So we have a bird feeding station with several feeders in our yard. Naturally bird seed accumulates under it and makes a mound. I came out of my shop to see my lovely bride using my shop vac to suck up the loose bird seed. She was vacuuming the lawn. It made me giggle. I did tease her a bit about it and we still laugh about it.
Ripped a fart so loud I swear it shook the house. We started laughing maniacally. Apparently, we laughed a little too hard because my wife launched right into a hysteric laughing/crying fit that had a constant negative feedback loop. I, to this day, have never met a woman who can laugh so hard that she sobs uncontrollably.
Ironing her hair… with an iron. Early on in the relationship… she got up early to do it too…. I got up to go to the bathroom and was like…. Wtf u doing? Took me a little by surprise. We still laugh about it now…
Im the wife in question. Im sure he thinks its weird that my favorite hobby is watching Chucky movies while I hotbox my car. Im a traditional house wife in all other aspects and a SAHM. But yup thats what I like to do for fun once and a while.
Put ranch on a sandwich. It’s been 10 years, 11 in September and still I can’t bring myself to understand why. It’s probably the strangest thing I’ve ever seen her do.
One time when my wife and I were dating, there was a huge snowstorm and the whole city shut down except a few of the bars probably throughout the city (in the south). We will call my wife Gabby for this. Any way, some friends came and picked us up to go sledding and 4wheeling, and day drinking. We got hammered and ended up at a bar that was super packed, and I swear every single person was already wasted just like we were.
My wife (then gf) went to say hi to someone or get a beer or something. One of the other girls slaps me on the shoulder and said “what the fuck! That dude just grabbed Gabby and made out with her”! As I was trying to process what had just happened, my wife grabs the dudes face, lays one on him, then punches him right in the nose! We were shocked to say the least! My gf marched over to us, grabbed a shot that we had just ordered and said “did yall see that MF’r grab me and stick his tongue down my throat?!? She then screamed across the bar “GUESS YOUR BITCH ASS FOUND OUT!” Like a gangsta in a movie or something, 😳. As the bouncers were closing in she slammed that shot, projectile puked almost on them, shot dude across the bar a final FU bird, and walked out!
I knew I was gonna marry this woman right then and there! 🤣🥰
Normally, she is pretty quiet/reserved with no desire what-so-ever of being the center of attention.
I have seen her mad in the ensuing 15 years, and I have seen her pretty tipsy a time or two. Unfortunately, I have never seen her re-create anything even remotely like this night! I’d probably pay big bucks to re-live that fine afternoon/evening. Even though I’d have to see her kiss another man! Our friends still find it one of the most epic ever from our group (15+ years as friends) 🤣😅😂😘🥴
After all 3 kids went to bed, my wife would sweep the entire house into one big pile. Then sit next to it and go through it to take out all the little toy parts and other stuff that was good.
My ex had like a week where she forgot how to wipe her ass without getting shit everywhere. It wasn’t the most open seat, but she got shit in different spots like 3-4 times. It was absolutely mind bending how a grown adult without malady could get a subway footlong streak of shit on the wall next to her.
As quickly as it became a problem, it stopped. She cleaned up after herself. 20 years and three kids later it will never be discussed again. Damn was it weird though.
My ex wife hoarded candles. She had a walk in closet filled with them. She had subscriptions to monthly candle clubs. However, I was never allowed to grab a candle and burn it.
When we got divorced, I found out that there were even more in storage that I knew nothing about. I was able to estimate the value and use the against what she wanted for my firearms, music equipment, etc. 😥
To me, the strangest thing that I saw my ex-wife do was to open the bedroom window put a box fan in it, and turn it on full blast to go to sleep. It was -30° Fahrenheit and snowing.
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Bro is asking about their “secret single behavior” as my wife calls it. Lol.
Me
So many things, Abed. So many things.
I caught her using a dremel to cut some HDF with a wire wheel instead of one of the cutters.
It still brings a smile.
My buddy Mark
Not wife, my ex gf. We were traveling in south west China and visiting a tourist town (Li Jiang). The guest house we were staying at had a bunch of dogs and one of them was big and furry; not a breed I recognised.
Anyway it kept “trying to jump up on her legs” as she sat in a large chair in the courtyard of the guest house. She kept encouraging it, holding its two front paws, trying to lift it up with her leg.
I was like WTF? She was confused, I was confused. I explained it to her, she was horrified. The dog was put out in the back yard. End of story.
Marry me with the expectation that I will be absorbed into her family, rather than building a family of our own. And not telling me that until it was too late.
She has a secret little snack stash under the dresser, and late at night eats it like a little squirrel. During the day she eats them in the bathroom. She is a fitness trainer and tells everyone she Fasts 18 hours a day. I know she doesn’t. I just let her have this, even though it makes no sense to me.
Using a knife and meat cleaver to open a can of beans
my wife will awake in the night, arch her back, let out some bristling choppy clicking sound then moan really loudly. I’ve asked her about it and she has no clue what I’m talking about. Tbh it gets me hard as a rock lol
Take out here belly piercing, smell it, exclaim that it stinks, then proceeds to smell it a couple more times
This one’s a stomach churner. Engaged. Im a fast eater. Im working on it. She’s used to wiping some sauce or whatever off my face and licking it. One time she wiped a booger from under my nose and reflexively licked it. We made knowing eye contact and said nothing and never have but I learned something that day by her lack of gagging, she really really really loves me.
She was a super clean freak but let the little pug dog sleep on the new couch, wedged in between the armrest and a couch pillow. Yet if I laid on that couch to watch the ballgame….
This is about my first wife. She had several nutty behaviours and could get addicted to anything.
In particular she always had s latest song she was addicted to, in some cases for months. She would go in the kitchen and play it loud, on repeat. She would stop if anyone came in because she was shy about what she did when it was playing. We all knew what she did anyway.
She would hold her arms out in front of her body, wrists locked, and spin around rapidly. I think she got high from the dizziness.
Wash shoes in the dishwasher because TikTok said so and refuse to use said dishwasher because it uses too much water. I really hit the lottery with this one.
Not wife yet, but yesterday she rubbed a particularly large piece of sleep out of her eye and popped it into her mouth, she said that it has been smoky lately with wildfires, as if that was all the explanation necessary
One morning I awoke to a hugely loud “BANG BANG BANG” sound. She was attempting to make butter using the dryer.
Here’s one. My wife loves pink bubblegum ice cream but has a crippling fear of swallowing bubble gum. She, objectively really attractive and has a spectacular rack, will sit in her underwear – and eat the ice cream but will stop and spit out a mound of chewed bubble gum.
It’s revolting but I can’t stop watching. She’s like a model with the personality of a raccoon. Married 20 years and she continues to fascinate me on a daily basis.
Forget how to park.
Marry my dumb ass
Maybe this isn’t the weirdest thing ever, but she’ll often pick up something that I put down (like a water bottle) and then try to give it to me. And I have to either take it and put it back myself or tell her to put to back where she picked it up from.
I think it’s a “nesting” thing.
For me it’s creating complete fantasies to resent me for. It’s bonkers.
One came up the other day while traveling. I have a new job. The week before we left my backup quit. I work remote. I warned her that I had to work 2-3 hours a day to keep certain systems running. I’m literally the only one that can do it. I did exactly what I told her I would. I got up at 5:00 am and worked for 2.5 hours then after everyone went to bed I worked for another hour or 2. Zero impact to trip with the exception that I was extremely tired.
One night we argued and she told me that I ALWAYS work on vacation. I was like wut. I said we were just in Asia for 2 weeks and I didn’t bring my work computer (though I did answer some slacks).
She said on a trip 4 years ago I worked the whole trip. I was shocked. This was an absolute fantasy. I missed our initial flights out because my passport expired. I flew to SF to get a walk in appt at the passport office 3 days later and managed to get my passport renewed then I flew to our foreign destination the next day. She had already been there for 4 days with her sister and BIL. Because I missed the initial flight, I worked those 3 days because why burn vacation days when I don’t need to? So I happened to have my work computer with me but I never opened it in country.
I showed her pictures of our day trips and reminded her how our Airbnb Internet was so bad that it wasn’t even usable 3/4 of the time. It would have been 100% impossible to work. In fact I didn’t even answer slacks because we put the international sim on her phone because it was cheaper, so I didn’t even have my phone with me 90% of the time.
She still doesn’t believe me. She thinks I’m gas lighting her. She’s absolutely convinced that I’m lying to her. She’s even asked her sister and BIL if I worked and they both said they didn’t think so. She still doesn’t believe me.
This isn’t the first time something like this has happened and it’s getting worse. Weird stuff even like something really really mean that she did to me a few years ago for example – she’s now convinced herself that I did it to her.
I don’t know how to address it because she gets defensive and says I’m gas lighting her and she shuts down. It’s gotten so bad that even I start questioning myself when she gets so adamant to the point that I actually started journaling because it’s the only thing I can think of. Any tips or similar experiences would be welcome.
Does ex wife count? She would stand in front of a space heater naked, butt cheeks pulled apart, so the heater would warm her asshole. That should have been my sign to dip.
Know what she wanted to eat! I wasn’t ready when it happened…
Giving birth was WILD
Smelled really bad
She carried a long wooden cooking spoon in the car to smack the kids with when they acted up in the back seat
Run off with her best friend
Put the windshield sun shade up while parked in the garage
It’s kinda strange but also very hot. She loves the taste of herself. She will sit in her robe, watch TV or a movie, and be constantly touching herself and licking her finger. At those times, it’s not even a sexual thing for her, more like when people bite their nails or play with their hair but I love watching her do it none the less lol
She stares at people while we drive past them. Like full rubber necking like she knows them or something.
Stood outside in a rainstorm, in full rain coat and boots watering her plants.
So we have a bird feeding station with several feeders in our yard. Naturally bird seed accumulates under it and makes a mound. I came out of my shop to see my lovely bride using my shop vac to suck up the loose bird seed. She was vacuuming the lawn. It made me giggle. I did tease her a bit about it and we still laugh about it.
“this isn’t rational, I just hate you right now”
My (former) best friend.
She picked up a bell pepper and ate it like an apple
When we had our son, watching her deliver the placenta was very odd
Ripped a fart so loud I swear it shook the house. We started laughing maniacally. Apparently, we laughed a little too hard because my wife launched right into a hysteric laughing/crying fit that had a constant negative feedback loop. I, to this day, have never met a woman who can laugh so hard that she sobs uncontrollably.
Ironing her hair… with an iron. Early on in the relationship… she got up early to do it too…. I got up to go to the bathroom and was like…. Wtf u doing? Took me a little by surprise. We still laugh about it now…
Pick her nose and eat her boogers….yeah we’re divorced now.
Im the wife in question. Im sure he thinks its weird that my favorite hobby is watching Chucky movies while I hotbox my car. Im a traditional house wife in all other aspects and a SAHM. But yup thats what I like to do for fun once and a while.
She’s perfect……. Cause she doesn’t exist 🙃
Put ranch on a sandwich. It’s been 10 years, 11 in September and still I can’t bring myself to understand why. It’s probably the strangest thing I’ve ever seen her do.
When she was in labour giving birth to oit first child, she managed to scream while breathing in
Drive a car
One time when my wife and I were dating, there was a huge snowstorm and the whole city shut down except a few of the bars probably throughout the city (in the south). We will call my wife Gabby for this. Any way, some friends came and picked us up to go sledding and 4wheeling, and day drinking. We got hammered and ended up at a bar that was super packed, and I swear every single person was already wasted just like we were.
My wife (then gf) went to say hi to someone or get a beer or something. One of the other girls slaps me on the shoulder and said “what the fuck! That dude just grabbed Gabby and made out with her”! As I was trying to process what had just happened, my wife grabs the dudes face, lays one on him, then punches him right in the nose! We were shocked to say the least! My gf marched over to us, grabbed a shot that we had just ordered and said “did yall see that MF’r grab me and stick his tongue down my throat?!? She then screamed across the bar “GUESS YOUR BITCH ASS FOUND OUT!” Like a gangsta in a movie or something, 😳. As the bouncers were closing in she slammed that shot, projectile puked almost on them, shot dude across the bar a final FU bird, and walked out!
I knew I was gonna marry this woman right then and there! 🤣🥰
Normally, she is pretty quiet/reserved with no desire what-so-ever of being the center of attention.
I have seen her mad in the ensuing 15 years, and I have seen her pretty tipsy a time or two. Unfortunately, I have never seen her re-create anything even remotely like this night! I’d probably pay big bucks to re-live that fine afternoon/evening. Even though I’d have to see her kiss another man! Our friends still find it one of the most epic ever from our group (15+ years as friends) 🤣😅😂😘🥴
After all 3 kids went to bed, my wife would sweep the entire house into one big pile. Then sit next to it and go through it to take out all the little toy parts and other stuff that was good.
feel so comfortable that she shit with toilet door open
My wife wears lab goggles to chop onions 😆
My wife gets in the shower and then turns the water on.
Every single time she shrieks because its too hot or cold.
Ive given her crap about it she refuses to start the water first and then get in.
I do not understand
My ex had like a week where she forgot how to wipe her ass without getting shit everywhere. It wasn’t the most open seat, but she got shit in different spots like 3-4 times. It was absolutely mind bending how a grown adult without malady could get a subway footlong streak of shit on the wall next to her.
As quickly as it became a problem, it stopped. She cleaned up after herself. 20 years and three kids later it will never be discussed again. Damn was it weird though.
My ex wife hoarded candles. She had a walk in closet filled with them. She had subscriptions to monthly candle clubs. However, I was never allowed to grab a candle and burn it.
When we got divorced, I found out that there were even more in storage that I knew nothing about. I was able to estimate the value and use the against what she wanted for my firearms, music equipment, etc. 😥
As a woman, I find this thread fascinating
To me, the strangest thing that I saw my ex-wife do was to open the bedroom window put a box fan in it, and turn it on full blast to go to sleep. It was -30° Fahrenheit and snowing.
Cook.
Say yes to being with me. Twice.