She has her own subplots, motivations, character flaws, and a defined life outside of Peter. Honestly I feel she has as much going on, story wise, as Harry does. She doesn’t just exist to be his eventual girlfriend or to be saved, like a lot of people say that she does. Yes, he does save her at the end of every movie, but that doesn’t take away from everything else. I feel like part of the issue is that people conflate being well written with actually liking a character, but those aren’t the same things. I agree that she’s not a great love interest, but I think she’s a well written character.
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The reason why people don’t like her is the lack homage to her involving and assertive characteristics that she had on the comics.
It’s less about being saved or swaying and more about being there for Peter when he needed her, which was prominent in comics but missing in all 3 installments of the movie.
Unironically she was best written in the third installment where her struggles are the most realistic.
All in all, just not up to the high expectation of a franchise superhero’s partner that people’s been having.
Her storyline becomes more relatable as you age, and you experience what real life dating is like.
In SM3, they were written as a pretty realistic portrayal of a couple who are in different places in life, to the point they can’t communicate anymore.
Peter is on a high from finally getting respect as Spider-Man and getting the girl. He can’t see she isn’t happy or that kissing Gwen Stacy might be dealbreaker cuz in his mind, he achieved his happy ending.
MJ’s career is falling apart and she doesn’t want to ruin his thunder, so it’s easier to fall solace in Harry.