For context me and my gf have been together for three years for the first couple of months of me being with her they were perfect we were a happy couple in the honeymoon stage one can say but it all went sideways when one day she went though my instagram and saw likes and messages of girls I’ve used to talk too before we dated. We had a big fight because I thought that stuff didn’t matter because it was before her but she made it the biggest deal. For months we struggled like this we would have arguments all the time and she would treat me like shit because of that. Fast forward today and we’re still like this I can’t even have a girl to pop up on my fyp without her getting mad she tells me that I’m looking at girls we can’t even be in public for gods sake without her accusing me of looking at girls which I’m not. She blames her insecurities on me because that I liked those pictures and that I should have told her that I was liking girls pictures but why should I it’s my past I don’t judge her on her past. The relationship is miserable now I love her but I’m drained and I don’t know what to do she’s very insecure about her body and looks and I can’t do anything about it I compliment her and she tells me that I never do. She says I lack affection but it’s hard to show someone affection to someone who acts rude and disrespectful to me because they are insecure .
TL;DR: My gfs insecurities of her body image have led her to be disrespectful and spiteful towards me and it’s ruining our relationship
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Ugh. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Sadly, you could tell her she’s gorgeous all day but if she is as insecure as you say, it won’t help. She has to find self confidence herself before her actions will change. Some women never overcome this kind of insecurity. It sounds like she needs therapy. Does she know how much this is endangering your relationship?
Wait, you’ve been together 3 years and it’s been like this since the first couple of months ?
Why have you been putting up with it for so long ?
I feel like if you broke up with her, she’d be the type to victimise herself and tell people you cheated on her or something. HER insecurities are absolutely NOT caused by you, especially as you’ve done nothing wrong. I’m not sure how she expects you to be affectionate when she treats you like this simultaneously. And if she’s not aware of her wounds and behaviour, she will likely destroy every other relationship she tries to enter into.
I’d leave. It’s either now or somewhere down the line, she’ll always have an issue with something and probably continue to say you’re the cause. Take care of yourself!
You were 17 and now you’re 20, just move on with your life already before you’re suddenly 30 and you’ve had another decade of this nonsense.
OP, I’m confused about something in your post :
>We had a big fight because I thought that stuff didn’t matter because it was before her but she made it the biggest deal. For months we struggled like this we would have arguments all the time and she would treat me like shit because of that. Fast forward today and we’re still like this
Why say “for months we were fighting” and then “fast forward today” ? I don’t understand why you didn’t write “we have been having arguments ever since” or something like that ? It seems like “for months we were fighting” implies that at some point it stopped ? I’m sorry I just can’t comprehend that situation and feel like I must be missing something. Did some of your post get erased ?
You leaving her doesn’t mean you don’t care, but this is not your job. She needs professional help. This relationship is over. She did it for years straight and you’re drained. Even if she fixed it, that resentment is there and you will struggle, and im sure she will blame you for not getting over it. This sounds like it needs to end