Me 21F and my Boyfriend 22M have a breakup pending and I need advice.

r/

Hi everyone, I could really use some advice.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. He recently came back from advanced camp (ROTC Cadet Summer Training) and told me he’s decided to go active duty after graduation. That means he’ll be gone for 9+ months for training, and then committed for 5 more years, stationed somewhere unknown.

The career I’m pursuing won’t really allow me to just move to any state, and I honestly don’t know if I’m built for the Army s/o lifestyle. He even told me he doesn’t want to put me through that, which makes things harder emotionally, even if I get where he’s coming from.

This is my first real relationship, and I really thought he might be “the one.” We were supposed to move in together at the end of August for our senior year. I don’t want to break up I love him but it’s starting to feel like it’s inevitable, whether it’s now or when he graduates.

Part of me feels like breaking up now would avoid dragging things out or making graduation even harder. But the other part doesn’t want to give up our last year together. I don’t want my senior year to be full of dread and grief of the relationship, but I also don’t want graduation to end with a sad breakup.

Has anyone gone through something similar? How do you handle loving someone when your life paths are pulling you in different directions?

Comments

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  2. DrHugh Avatar

    You could break up amicably, and stay friends. You may both end up single at a later point.

    But life will do this. I don’t think there’s a “one” for any of us…we can have great relationships with several people. But you and your boyfriend do seem to be going in different directions, so it is probably best to let it go and stay friends.