Me (21F) and my boyfriend (25M) and my boyfriend’s university classmate (25F)

r/

Yesterday was boyfriend’s (25M) graduation and he took, in my opinion, very intimate pictures with his ex classmate, a girl (25F) who is pretty good looking and a little self absorbed, and they took many, many pictures with the university photographers. In all of them, they’re posing side by side and him with his arm wrapped around her shoulder, and her holding tightly his hand of that arm with her hand, if that makes sense?
Showing me his graduation pictures with his phone, he stumbles across those pictures and he goes, in a joking manner; “do not mind the hand thing, eh, ahahah”. Mind you, I kept asking him in the graduation ceremony to take pictures together and we only have one selfie I took and another I asked his aunt to take of us, and he would always reply, “it doesn’t matter, did we not take one already?”
I later communicated my discomfort with the pose, in sense that it looked like a couple’s picture, to which he replied, “I will not validate feelings of yours that stem from insecurity and low esteem, she is a very close friend and I will be intimidate with whoever I want […] this is my way of being with people and I will not have you change me to be how you want”, “learn to gargle it, I don’t care about your feelings, appearances and how it may seem to people, I am not that superficial”, “you’re not the only woman I am intimate with”, “you’re acting like my friend’s wife (who has a problem with the same woman) and her jealously attacks, jeez, I am on the same level”. How can I communicate effectively with this profile?

Comments

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  2. mind_like_the_ocean Avatar

    This dude is telling you he doesn’t care about you and you are completely ignoring it. Lose the dead weaight

  3. Ok_Rich_7418 Avatar

    So in other words he’s got a harem going, and you my friend are the secret relationship. Id say leave ( you got used wht get used more?) and if u want to tell the other girl about it (bring evidence if u gonna do this) this way he faces damage

  4. NotSoMuch_IntoThis Avatar

    This guy doesn’t even like you.

  5. -Red_-_line- Avatar

    From what he has told you directly, it doesn’t seem like he’s exclusive with you, unless I misunderstood?
    Anyway, in fairness to him, he has communicated to you that he is this way and is not going to change, and apparently does not want to discuss it with you. In that case, I think your only options are to stay and put up with it (your self-esteem sinking lower every day), or decide this is a boundary for you, and leave.