TLDR: met a new guy but I am not sure if I am attracted to him physically. We didn’t meet in person yet and I only saw pictures.
I have been speaking to this one guy for two weeks. This may be kinda taboo but I have met him through Valorant.
I meet most people on games because I am chronically ill and it is difficult for me to even go outside esp since I’m going through flare ups rn.
So, for context I just got out of a 2yr relationship 2 months ago. But I’ve realised that I didn’t like my ex partner for a while before and that he didn’t treat me well and I wasn’t really in love with him. I had issues getting over him but I finally blocked him and I have zero desire to ever be back with him again.
So I met this guy, we started jokingly flirting and talking but something caught my interest. He is 3 hours away from me from a different country, which really isn’t even that far.
He’s really funny, genuinely and really emotionally mature. Since the start I stated that I’m not sure if I want a relationship I’m just interested in his personality. He agreed.
I like his voice, the way he speaks, his humour, we have the same hobbies and music tastes. He’s genuine, funny, kind and you can see he’s loving.
But.
I’ve seen how he looks yesterday. Typical nerdy guy with brown eyes and hair but. I wouldn’t say he’s really attractive. He has a prominent over bite and pretty old glasses and just in general, he wouldn’t be socially perceived as attractive. But not ugly! He’s still young and I’m 100% sure he will grow into his looks.
My issue is that I’m overly anxious and need to have everything under control. I know that my parents and friends would most likely judge him for his looks and that’s something that affects me subconsciously. And when I get overwhelmed I fixate on one feeling. Right now it’s “what if I don’t find him attractive”.
I know him for two weeks, and haven’t seen him in person. I’m sure my attraction would grown but I’m such a perfectionist I can’t help but think “maybe j should end it now”. But rn I’m not in the state to make any clear decisions. I can’t help thinking I might not be fair to him and how would this affect him.
Is it wise for me to pursue this connection?