So i got her some bread from the food pantry. They had some baguettes from whole foods. I told her the day prior I had a something for her but she couldn’t get it then. Fast forward to the next day she’s able to meet me and I am about to give her said bread 2x. After giving it to her She seems off and kinda off put. She kinda states she doesnt want the bread (taste wise) so i just toss it in the trash next to her since it was free. She is still kinda emotionless still. She Doesn’t give me a kiss (gives me like a weird air kiss) and gives me a side hug then just leaves.
Here are the messages that transpired after the meet:
Me: “Hey baby is everything ok ? Lmk if you are going through something “
Her:
“Oh nothing ”
” Hey, I was thinking about earlier when you brought me the bread. I really appreciated the thought behind it, but I just wanted to be honest. I was feeling kind of drained and a little disappointed in the moment. I had gotten excited when you said you had something for me, and I think I was just expecting something a little different. I know it was a kind gesture, and I don’t want that to get lost.”
Me:
“Ok, no problem”
“No offense taken”
Her:
“Good for you”
Me:
“I’m not trying to start anything, it’s no problem. No offense taken”
“Truly”
“Like im chilling”
Her:
“But it’s not only about you being offended or not😕”
“You saw how I was, you asked if everything was okay, I express myself and you tell me no offense taken without taking in consideration what I said about me”
“So good for you if you are chilling”
Me:
“I’m confused. What do you want me to say ?”
Her:
“Nothing”
“Have a good rest of your day”
TL;DR
Gf states that I’m not thinking about her. I’m not sure how to answer back
Comments
You said you had a gift for her and it turned out to be stale bread.
She tries to be gracious, and acknowledges that while your intentions may have been good, you disappointed her.
Your response to her saying that she’s a little bothered is to say YOU are not bothered, and therefore everything is fine.
Do you see the disconnect? She is telling you that you disappointed her, and you are jumping right to the “it’s all good, I’m good” without the middle section where you acknowledge that her disappointment is valid and acknowledge the role you played in creating it by hyping her up about a gift of… unwanted literal garbage.
Why would you make bread out to be a surprise? Is she obsessed with bread? Has she ever said how much she loves getting bread as a gift?
The thought of picking up some for her was nice, but you should have just messaged her and said “I’m at the food bank, they have some bread, would you like me to pick some up for you?”.
Why over sell it like a surprise? It’s bread.
You then fail to acknowledge her disappointment at all, that’s why she’s upset.
Maybe pick her some wild flowers or something next time.