I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. It’s my first relationship and he’s the only person I’ve ever slept with, whereas he’s had full PIV sex with about 50 women and other sexual encounters with around 150 more. We have a strong relationship in most ways, but this imbalance has made me both insecure and curious about his sexual history, which I told him early on. He said he’d answer any questions and reassured me I had nothing to be jealous about. He’s neurodivergent with sensory issues around touch and has said his hypersexuality was caused by trauma and masking. He says I’m the first person he’s ever actually enjoyed sex with, and the first he hasn’t been repulsed by to any degree. I believe him.
What I have trouble believing is his claim that none of the women he’s been with ever made any noise during sex. I know asking was probably unhealthy, but being able to ask questions made his history seem less like a daunting, incomparable mountain. He’s said many times that he enjoys the sounds I make in bed. Eventually I asked how common that was, and he maintains that none of his past partners ever made any sound — not even a moan — or tried dirty talk, including during orgasm. He insists this is true in every single case.
I said I found that hard to believe, and he said the answer would be the same no matter how times I asked. I know I’m inexperienced, but it seems so implausible. I wondered if maybe his partners were mirroring his disinterest, and he agreed that was likely, but I still don’t feel resolved.
It’s frustrating because I fear he’s trying to protect me from insecurity by making it seem like everything I do is unique, and if that’s the case, it stings more than the insecurity itself. I’ve tried voicing this feeling, but he maintains that he’s always completely truthful. I don’t know how to communicate further without being shut down, and I don’t know if I’m silly for even thinking about it this much.
TL;DR: My boyfriend (27M) and I (24F) have been together for 2 years. He has a very large sexual history, but says none of his ~20 partners ever made any sound in bed. I find that hard to believe, and it makes me doubt him even though I want to trust him. How do I stop letting this get in the way of our relationship?
Comments
Your boyfriend is full of shit. You can decide either to continue to date a person who lies or you can move on.
So he’s either completely lying, or brought absolutely no joy to any of the 150 women he slept with.
I don’t know what’s worse.
Going to lean towards the idea that he’s full of shit. Either those 50 women or 150 sexual encounters are with sex dolls or something.
Your boyfriend is a complete liar.
If it’s still bothering for 2 years you need to end the relationship. You are too young to be putting up with nonsense like this
150 partners is just logistically hard to imagine. If he started at 17, that’s still 1-2 new partners every month for 10 years. Add on top he’s neurodivergent… let’s be real. 100% lying about one or multiple things.
So why does it matter? His past experience, while real or imagined is the past. Is he good to you? Do you have the kind of sex you want to have with him? Are you happy in the relationship?
Asking these de5ailed questions actually isn’t functional. And this guy is a liar.
He’s lying. I have a friend who’s good looking and a good talker. He’s 23 and has slept with like 50 people. I have a hard time imagining your mentally disabled boyfriend sleeping with more people. The made no noise thing makes no sense either.