– When we started our relationship, she told me drunk that she was thinking about him, but everything since then has been perfect between the two of us.
– I honestly was very sad and disappointed but at the same time she was very cold in her messages and told him that they could never do that again because she is happy in a relationship.
– We are about to go to a long holiday to Europe where she is meeting my parents and I really don’t want to break up with her.
– She told me they had each other blocked, but I realize that was a lie and every time he texts she answers, even if it’s a: how are you?, did you see this?, a n y t h i n g.
– I really have mixed feelings because she deleted everything from her instagram about him, no trace of him and now she only posts things about me, but now I’m thinking that it’s because he blocked him from there.
– I have the feeling she has problems with alcohol, but when she’s with me she pretends everything’s fine. I also read that in the past when she was drunk she used to text him telling him she was still in love with him (that happened two-three months ago).
– Her ex moved from the city, so they saw each other because he was visiting his family, they don’t really live near each other anymore, also never says anything romantic only makes her believe that she was the best thing that happened to him and wishes the best with me but at the same time they still look for each other.
I’m heartbroken and confused but how could I confront this situation.
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She cheated. You breakup and tell your parents she’s a cheater and you have more dignity that to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you
Why even confront her? You know everything.
It’s over, just block and delete.
>How could I approach to her and confront her?
Are there tens of ways to confront ? I don’t even understand what kind of answer someone can expect.
> I really don’t want to break up with her.
Well…at this point, is there even a reason for confronting ? You said you don’t want to break up. What is there to discuss.
Just sweep it under the rug. What are your expectation, what’s the purpose of the “confrontation” ?
Know why ? Well, sex is good so, why not.
Does she loves you ? Yeah, in her kind of way.
Will she be faithful to you from now ? Euh, yes, why not.
Bro, you’re sitting on a ticking time bomb. If she’s sneaking texts with her ex, lying about blocking him, and messing up boundaries, this isn’t just a slip-up, it’s a pattern. Before you confront, get clear on what you want: trust repaired or closure. Keep it calm, no accusations, just facts. “I saw these messages, and it hurt me. We need honesty if this trip means anything.” If she keeps dodging, it’s a red flag, not just a mistake. Don’t trade your peace for a pretend relationship.
Friend, do not take her on that trip to meet your parents. You will be signing up for conflict later if you do. You have not yet processed this betrayal and if you take her on that trip and everything is hunky-dory and it goes fine and great this will show It’s ugly head when you return. Then you have to sign up to explain to your parents what has happened and how it actually went down before the trip. It could possibly ruin your trip seeing your parents. Go without her and enjoy the support of your family. My advice is to absolutely leave her and block her, but that part is up to you, but I would definitely table that until after your trip. Go on your vacation and enjoy your family. Dating is absolutely the easiest part of a relationship. The fact that she cheated when things are good is a big red flag. Imagine what it’s like when you have some real issues. Just ask yourself if you see yourself with her in the future and that is your answer. Is she wife material? Do you want a question your sanity every time she’s five minutes late. Every time her phone rings or gets a notification. Every time you have to leave town or she does. A one year relationship is not worth that. There will be others and others that will respect you and your relationship.
You kick her out or move out without a word and block her and then hit the gym until it stops hurting bro.
Personally I would text her and write, I know you cheated, then block her and ghost her at that point. Never talk to her again. You will heal much quicker. In the long run maybe you will be doing her a favor as it may cause her so suffer and build character.
What do YOU think is your best course of action (what are you leaning towards)?
I know you don’t want to break up with her, which is very noble of you.
However.
You don’t know if it was unprotected sex. You don’t know what really put the idea in her head that it was okay to cheat on you. You don’t know if she truly hasn’t plans to see him again. She is playing both of you. She cheated in a really big way, and my gut feeling is she will do it again – if not with him but certainly someone else. She didn’t expect you to find out. She was going to cheat and cover it up.
You need to be honest with yourself – can you really forget that this happened because that’s what you will need to do? Can you trust her again? Really?
You need to be honest with yourself. Can you build a life with a cheat? Do you think you can’t find a better person?
Its in your hands.
Never give cheaters the joy of gaslighting you or get closure. Just ghost her and block her on everything.
You cannot make her change.
You can choose to rugsweep, to choose your fantasy, to choose the hell that is believing other people will change if you can only just find the right words to say.
Or you can choose your dignity, your mental and emotional health and well-being and walk away before you become even more damaged from accepting such treatment and pretending that it is love, or that love can flourish without respect trust honesty.
I don’t really see a third option.
Try to focus on your feelings and your needs and let hers and the relationships take a backseat for a minute.
If you don’t grieve, if you don’t face your fears, then you choose to allow them control while you hide inside your own mind.
Start simple. Can you cancel the tickets to Europe and get a refund? Can you move them to a later date?
You need time to be able to process this. You don’t want to be introducing her to your parents while you have this in your mind. Even if you 2 talk it out and decide to stay together, you’re still going to need time to be okay.
If you can’t get a refund, I say just cancel the plane tickets as your first step. You don’t want to be on a plane for hours with this person.
You should probably just whine about it to her a bit, then blow it over until the next time.
Another sad person with no self respect. You may love her but she has no love or respect for you. I would take her on holiday and leave her there to find her own way back
You break up with her, cancel the trip, or go alone!
Don’t tell her you know anything yet, act like everything is normal, sneakily start preparing for a breakup by getting your assets together, meanwhile look through her phone to collect evidence and consult a lawyer to see if you can sue her for intentional infliction of emotional distress
Dude, she’s already cheating emotionally, if not physically. Confront her with what you know, don’t play detective or sugarcoat it. Ask straight: what the hell is going on? If she’s hiding and lying, it’s not a relationship, it’s damage control. Decide if you want to trust a ticking time bomb or cut your losses before Europe turns into a nightmare.
Start by moving out, or changing locks or whatever you need to do to keep her away from you. Next, simply tell her the relationship is over, because there is no excuse for what she did. Start your grieving process and do not let her gaslight you into you being at fault. Respect yourself, love yourself
Why would you want to introduce your cheating should-be-ex-gf to your parents? Because you’re going to Europe? You are 30 years old, grow up.
A few things.
She may have an alcohol problem. You can’t fix that. All you will do is enable her because you are not strong enough to make the hard decisions.
She lied to you about the ex being blocked. You can’t fix that either. You just keep making excuses for her.
She is clearly not over her ex. You can’t fix that either. You just keep making excuses for her.
She cheated on you once that you know of. You can’t fix that either. Again you are making excuses for her.
She has showed you her true self. Believe her. She lies. She cheats. That is not someone who respects you. That is not someone who really cares about you.
Dude, she doesn’t have a magic pussy. There are other women out there. You deserve better. This YOU can fix.
She has an ongoing secret relationship with this guy. If you let this go, it’s going to happen again.
He should’ve been cut off from gecko permanently. If it bothers you that she occasionally sleeps with another guy then you probably should end this. Has some self-respect.
don’t give these types of people a chance to manipulate you or talk their way out of it, because they will. talking with them achieves nothing, you’ve seen what you needed to see and you know the facts.
just go
Well you are clearly saying you don’t want to break up…. so don’t.
But expect a complete lack of respect from her towards you going forward, she clearly already didn’t respect you now it’s going to get worse… and it’s mainly because you are showing her that you are not worthy of respect by staying…
She will also do it again…
Dude she didn’t even own up to it… you had to find out on your own…
Do you really want to introduce a cheater to your parents?
Do you want to be her back up? Wondering if he ever moves back she’d be with him in a heart beat.
What is there to confront?
Ghost her cheating ass! Problem solved.
If you don’t want to break up with her, then there’s no point in confronting her. She’s just going to give you excuses. She is not over her ex. I would not move forward with this person unless you are okay knowing that she will likely cheat with him again if she gets the chance.
Don’t. Just tell her you know, and leave.