Pls don’t slam me too hard guys..
Boyfriend works hard, pays rent & for his car-makes a bit more then me.I work full time also, have 3 kids from previous marriage, 2 dogs , a car.
I pay for 98% of the groceries ,meals out and basically do all the cleaning &laundry. He does cook. I’m always surprising him with little gifts or buying him clothes. Rent is high I know. I have my own expenses – I have not been contributing- full disclosure!
I do feel bad about it. At the same time I am so tired of asking him to help w/laundry( just fold it at least )organizing( he dumps everything in the closets so they are unusable), picking his pile of clothes up off the floor. If my dogs are over he doesn’t even think to let them out. When I ask he gets defensive.
He’s frequently defensive saying I make him feel like a failure when I ask him to do chores and always without fail says ” but I pay the rent” to which I immediately feel guilty asking him.
I help my kids financially.Paid for son’s university. I’m stretched also.
The other day my ex took the kids to dentist & got reimbursed through my benefits. My bf got mad and actually said ” why should he get our money?” I turned to him in the grocery store and snapped loudly” did you take them to the dentist?
I do plan to somehow contribute financially. But honestly his defensiveness & refusal to keep a clean place is making me wary.
Am I being a b#tch? Should he really get this irritated when I ask for help around the house? Am I being unfair and maybe don’t understand the financial burden he’s under re rent?
TLDR: I can’t ask my partner to help with chores ,groceries,meals out,putting up one shelf! because the response is always” But I pay rent”.
Comments
It is always a complete and total shock to me when people cannot do basic self-care things like their own laundry. What was he doing 7 years ago before the two of you were together?