Me(28F) Struggling to Find Intimacy and Connection with My Husband (35M)

r/

Our arranged marriage is about to complete two years, but I still don’t feel connected to my husband. We haven’t had much time to spend together. His family stays with us for about 10 months out of the year, and he is out of the city for work for about 22 days every month. For the remaining days, we don’t have privacy. On top of that, he goes on trips abroad, and I’m told about these plans just 3-4 days before. Whenever we do go on a trip, his family accompanies us. We never get to go anywhere alone.

Now, his parents are asking us to plan for a baby, but I don’t feel happy or ready for it right now. I’m not sure if having a baby would make my husband love me more. It feels like I’m just following a routine—wake up in the morning, make breakfast and lunch for everyone, go to the office, and when I come back late from work, do some household chores before going to bed, and repeat the same routine the next day.

I don’t feel like being intimate with my husband anymore because after intimacy, his attention towards me decreases significantly, or maybe I should say his love—it’s hard to understand what’s going on. After about 4-5 days, he expects intimacy again, and only then does he start paying attention to me. It’s starting to feel really suffocating.

I did try to talk to my husband about how I feel, but he just says everything is normal and that I’m overthinking.
Please advice what to do ?

Comments

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  2. uncantankerous Avatar

    Wow I don’t really have a good answer. But I hope you find the strength to do what you think is right for yourself.