I recently started a PhD in Australia on a memorial scholarhip in the name of a late historian. I am very grateful for my scholarship and honoured to embark on my research in the memory of his name. The historian passed away just a couple years ago and I am the first recipient of this memorial scholarship.
In a couple weeks’ time, my PhD supervisors and I will be meeting the historian’s widow, in my case for the first time. I’ve heard lovely things about the widow from those who know her, and obviously about the historian too.
I don’t want to overthink it, but obviously I want to make a good impression with the widow and express my gratitude and respect for the work of her late husband, and to start a good relationship with the widow too.
Ideally I’d have prepared a gift for the widow from my country, but I left my country while in hardship and was scraping and had help from my family just to be able to depart. So I wasn’t able to afford a thoughtful gift for the widow, even if at times when I’m financially normal this would have been inexpensive.
Normally my next go-to move would be to bake an easy loaf cake or something like that. But there has been an egg shortage for awhile where I am. Plus I don’t really know the widow, and it would be awkward if she turned out to be gluten free or vegan.
Wondering if flowers and a thank you card might be appropriate instead? Any dos and donts regarding this? Or does anyone have a different opinion on what might be a better alternative than flowers and a card?
Obviously I’d also read up on the historian’s work and make sure to not turn up to the meeting blank. But a friend of mine who is friends with the widow said that the widow does not share her husband’s expertise, so it’s not like meeting her will be a quiz on her husband’s work.
Anybody else here on a memorial scholarship who met the widow or widower of the person in whose name your scholarship is in? What was it like to meet them? What to expect from that meeting? What kind of relationship did you establish with them throughout your studies and beyond?
Comments
I think flowers and a card would be lovely, but if that’s a stretch then I think a hand-written letter explaining what her husband’s work meant to you and what you enjoyed about it would be very appropriate! Even if she’s not an expert on the topic I’m sure she’ll appreciate hearing how his work has inspired you.
Congratulations on your scholarship, and best of luck with it!
A handwritten card, with something heartfelt about what this means to you, and importantly what you hope to achieve with it, would be very appropriate and welcomed I’m sure.
If you go with the flowers – avoid the lily family – while fantastic florals they can be toxic to house pets (cats particularly) and some cultures associate them with death.
She’d probably be thrilled with a thoughtful hand written note. If you want to be REALLY thoughtful – send her a copy of papers you publish while doing your PhD acknowledging that it wouldn’t be possible without their scholarship fund 🙂
No need to bring anything. But a handwritten personal letter that tells a bit of your research and what this scholarship means for you both on a personal and professional level would be appreciated I am sure.
Besides that you can honour their name by doing your best possible research.
Also remember that this was someone who was married to an academic. They are not going to be put off by a little awkwardness as long as you’re nice and thoughtful.
I think she would like to know that you are doing your research with her husband’s values in mind.
Ask her if there is any advice that her husband would give to a young researcher, and what were the values he cared about the most.