im very conscious of love bombing. frankly if someone wants to tell me how much they love me im gonna need specifics, im gonna want to hear how they enjoyed some thing i did or said or something about me and who i am, i dont wanna hear im the most handsome man on earth every 5 minutes. once a week would be nice, but if its just a bunch of “i love you so much youre the best youre the hottest youre so great” with no substance it isnt going to sound sincere to me.
i also dont really need to hear much of anything, its the same thing with the specifics, that tells me you actually put the thought/effort into saying something meaningful, you dont have to say shit to me if you DO meaningful things for me.
its pretty simple, dont tell me how much you appreciate me, show me. i feel like most women ive been with are on the same page.
I think there’s a delicate balance between deserved words of affirmation and undeserved. Do too little or too much and it has a negative effect in my opinion.
You can do too much of anything, I think. If it starts sounding like you’re lavishing praise on him every 20 minutes, maybe dial it back. It needs to be sincere.
Every person is different and has different boundaries / tolerances for said things.
Read the room, use context clues to determine how others might be perceiving your actions.
Above all else, give genuine compliments/affirmations. Don’t just affirm for the sake of affirmation because it will come across as being disingenuous.
I’ve learned the man I’m seeing likes words of affirmation that hit on things he values in himself.
He’s wildly uncomfortable being called handsome; but observing out loud how much I value the way he thinks things out, or how he fixed x is something I can tell means more. He doesn’t like it out of nowhere. He likes it to be applied to a current or recent situation.
I’m a 31 married man who grew up like most men, deprived of any positive affirmation and is finally getting it for the last 4 years from the woman I married. I’ll let you know when I’ve had enough. Maybe sometimes around my 80th bday by the looks of it
r/redditsniper in the thread body? Anyway, depends on the person, but I’d say people in general like validation and appreciation, so it is enough as long as it’s truthful and constructive
Honestly im so not used to it they kinda make me uncomfortable if its laid on too thick. A single nice thought, 2 or 3 times a day wouldn’t be too much. But like heaping all three together at once would be weird for me.
It isn’t so much about the amount, but about frequency and actionable follow-up. If you’re saying it constantly but not showing how much you appreciate us, it doesn’t hold as much meaning as implying it with how you treat us and not saying it as often.
I have family who always tell me they love me, even after betraying me or treating me like crap. Obviously those “I love you”s don’t feel genuine if they’re sprinkled in with abuse or neglect.
I think most men are action-based, that’s why we peg decisive action as a masculine trait. That being said, there are all kinds of men, so this isn’t meant to be a generalization, more of what I’ve noticed culturally.
Idk I’ve ever encountered too much. I’d imagine once/week would be more than most of us are accustomed to. Just avoid laying it on too thick to the point it sounds patronizing/disingenuous.
Most men get pretty much zero words of affirmation. In the past year I’ve gotten one that I can recall. I wish I would get more. If it’s genuine I don’t think you can put a limit on it. Even when it comes to compliments if they are genuine most guys will hold on to them for months to years.
Depends on the context of course, but acknowledging what I did well is great, showering me with cutsie pootsie shootsie words is usually too much immediately.
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never enough honestly, at some point that person will be gone and you’ll really miss how much it meant.
Considering most men get zero, if it’s genuine it’s welcome.
There is never enough. Especially if thats their love language, you’re gonna make their heart melt every time.
-Someone who loves words of affirmation
i love gir. i personally am always hoping a gir.
im very conscious of love bombing. frankly if someone wants to tell me how much they love me im gonna need specifics, im gonna want to hear how they enjoyed some thing i did or said or something about me and who i am, i dont wanna hear im the most handsome man on earth every 5 minutes. once a week would be nice, but if its just a bunch of “i love you so much youre the best youre the hottest youre so great” with no substance it isnt going to sound sincere to me.
i also dont really need to hear much of anything, its the same thing with the specifics, that tells me you actually put the thought/effort into saying something meaningful, you dont have to say shit to me if you DO meaningful things for me.
its pretty simple, dont tell me how much you appreciate me, show me. i feel like most women ive been with are on the same page.
I think there’s a delicate balance between deserved words of affirmation and undeserved. Do too little or too much and it has a negative effect in my opinion.
You can do too much of anything, I think. If it starts sounding like you’re lavishing praise on him every 20 minutes, maybe dial it back. It needs to be sincere.
Every person is different and has different boundaries / tolerances for said things.
Read the room, use context clues to determine how others might be perceiving your actions.
Above all else, give genuine compliments/affirmations. Don’t just affirm for the sake of affirmation because it will come across as being disingenuous.
Some would be nice
I’ve learned the man I’m seeing likes words of affirmation that hit on things he values in himself.
He’s wildly uncomfortable being called handsome; but observing out loud how much I value the way he thinks things out, or how he fixed x is something I can tell means more. He doesn’t like it out of nowhere. He likes it to be applied to a current or recent situation.
You guys are getting affirmation?
I’m a 31 married man who grew up like most men, deprived of any positive affirmation and is finally getting it for the last 4 years from the woman I married. I’ll let you know when I’ve had enough. Maybe sometimes around my 80th bday by the looks of it
No such thing buddy.
A lot of men will never hear affirmations from another person so if you’re hearing them, be grateful and hope they continue
…l doesn’t finish her sentence, what do you assume she meant to say?
To answer the question for myself (not speaking for all men): Genuine is fine. Pandering is not.
r/redditsniper in the thread body? Anyway, depends on the person, but I’d say people in general like validation and appreciation, so it is enough as long as it’s truthful and constructive
Too much? I’ve never experienced this “too much affirmation” thing. Can you explain it?
Honestly im so not used to it they kinda make me uncomfortable if its laid on too thick. A single nice thought, 2 or 3 times a day wouldn’t be too much. But like heaping all three together at once would be weird for me.
The limit does not exist
Hi, I’m around that age, and the answer is zero.
More than the man’s preference.
I absolutely love when my wife reminds me how much I mean to her.
Provided it’s meant honestly and feels honest, then I’m just like everyone else in being happy with that.
When it’s done for the sake of it is when there’s a problem. Had enough of that superfluous shit when I was a kid.
But to know someone genuinely cares for you and loves you?! You can’t put a price on that.
M, 40-something. There isn’t too much if it’s genuine. But don’t do it constantly just for the sake of doing it.
Wow, this is honestly a question I’ve never thought about. It’s on the same line as how many compliments or blow jobs is too many?
It isn’t so much about the amount, but about frequency and actionable follow-up. If you’re saying it constantly but not showing how much you appreciate us, it doesn’t hold as much meaning as implying it with how you treat us and not saying it as often.
I have family who always tell me they love me, even after betraying me or treating me like crap. Obviously those “I love you”s don’t feel genuine if they’re sprinkled in with abuse or neglect.
I think most men are action-based, that’s why we peg decisive action as a masculine trait. That being said, there are all kinds of men, so this isn’t meant to be a generalization, more of what I’ve noticed culturally.
Depends on the man. I like to hear it. My partners ex husband didn’t, he told her that if she said it too often the words lost their meaning
I don’t think there is a level of too much lol
Uh oh, looks like the r/redditsniper got another one.
Pray for OP.
Not something I really need tbh. Varies by the dude. Once in a while is cool with me.
Idk I’ve ever encountered too much. I’d imagine once/week would be more than most of us are accustomed to. Just avoid laying it on too thick to the point it sounds patronizing/disingenuous.
I hate words of affirmation, so yes.
Most men get pretty much zero words of affirmation. In the past year I’ve gotten one that I can recall. I wish I would get more. If it’s genuine I don’t think you can put a limit on it. Even when it comes to compliments if they are genuine most guys will hold on to them for months to years.
Depends on the context of course, but acknowledging what I did well is great, showering me with cutsie pootsie shootsie words is usually too much immediately.
Honestly words are nice, but I’d really rather just an unexpected full body hug from behind
Words are empty and meaningless. Actions matter.
at the end of the day, words do not speak as loud as actions.. but words gain an echo when they match body languge. so dont just tell, show!
> Examples: If a gir
Well, it depends on the situa
It’s going to be individual despite what certain individuals here might say.
I care little for words, the love language that reaches me is actions. Words without any actions backing it up always feels insincere.
any men here need any words of affirmation? <3
I think OP got caught by Candleja
As long as it’s genuine there’s no limit
Too much feels “make-a-wishy”