Sometimes you realize she just doesn’t love you back.
Sometimes you realize she isn’t even capable of it because her anxiety and panic will never let her attention waver from the all consuming void inside her that she is trying to fill, and everything she does in her life is to find someone who will achieve that one impossible goal. In light of that everything you give will be fed into the maw and lost, appreciated for a second, but never treasured, as she searches for more from anyone and everyone forever.
At the end of the day, nobody can make her feel like she is worthy and valid. You have to judge yourself and decide in your own mind and trust your own judgment. When you cannot do that, external validation and love is just pouring water onto a broken jug.
I did. We had very different ideas about what we wanted to do with our lives. It was clear to both of us that our visions were absolutely incompatible.
Love is the easy part of relationships. The hard part is trust, respect and liking yourself in the relationship. I had none of those with my ex, and decided needed those things to be healthy and happy. Love wasn’t the issue.
Yup. I’d ask, ‘Want anything?’ and she’d say, ‘No, I’m good.’ Then 10 minutes later she’s fork-deep in my plate like a raccoon in a trash can. Love wasn’t enough—I just wanted to eat in peace.
I think I’d never love anyone like I loved her but she deserves so much better and I wasn’t able to give her that at that time in our lives so I let her go so she could have everything she ever dreamed of. I think of her everyday and I look her up sometimes and she has everything she wanted and it makes me so happy. I just pray she’s mine in the afterlife.
Yes, she wanted switch back from cohabitating to not, and I realized cohabitation was a relationship goal of mine. We called it off before we grew resentment. I honestly still love her – healthiest relationship of my life. Of all the butts, yours was the badonkist, Dawn.
When I started dating her she had cute twelve year old twin girls. Three years later, they were 15 year old monsters. I couldn’t stand to be around them anymore.
Yep, would have married my high school sweetheart but wasn’t willing to sign up for the chaos side of her. She hit it out of the park on all things except for loyalty.
She’s still beautiful, still highly intelligent, and successful in terms of career. She is also on her third marriage before 40, meanwhile my wife and I have a marriage that sometimes makes others envious. Dodged the biggest bullet of my life.
Don’t settle in terms of beauty OR the mental side of things. It’s a shame that more men don’t pay attention to both metrics.
Yes, cause she cheated on me. I don’t know what led her to do it, but leaving was the only option I was left with.
The only option to bring me a future and peace
I did. We were a great match. Never fought. Dated for 2 years. But graduated college together and got jobs in different states. We mutually split amicably knowing long distance just wouldn’t work. Now we both found different soulmates, and are happily married with kids. We don’t keep in touch but still support each other milestones like saying “congrats on the new job / baby” or whatever
When I was younger, I was in a 3 year relationship with a girl I really loved. We lived together, but were absolutely skint. I thought I was doing the right thing for us by going to university so that I could improve our living situation / train to get a better career. It was only meant to be a temporary parting of ways (she was going to move up at the end of the first year) but the long distance relationship shit just eroded us, and within 6 months we’d broken up. I don’t regret going to university, but I’d love to be able to have a look at how my life might’ve panned out otherwise.
We were functional drug addicts. We talked about getting clean for years. The day we were supposed to go to rehab she ran away. I went and got clean. 5 weeks later I came back and stuck with her for almost a year. I did my best to help her, support her, encourage her. I didn’t want to push her too hard because I didn’t want to push her away.
She didn’t want help. She wouldn’t do outpatient care or therapy of any kind. No detox. Nothing. There were stretches of good weeks, then bad weeks. People don’t change even when they need to. They have to want to. She snuck out one day and was gone for 16 hours. I never let her set foot in my place again. While I was gathering her things I discovered she was hiding drugs all over my apartment. She even made a hole inside a teddy bear I bought her and stuffed a little drug kit up there.
It hurt like hell to let go of someone I loved so much, and who needed so much help. That’s what it felt like. It felt like I let go of someone who needed help. Then one day somebody told me “you didn’t let go of her. You were holding on to yourself.”
We both loved each other but she was extremely depressed. Would threaten to hurt herself, not answer texts or calls leaving me to wonder what’s happening where she is and if she’s ok. If she texted back they would be insults directed at me or telling me to leave her alone. There’s more but not worth getting into. We were together for a while. She broke up with me after a bit over 4 years. We got back together and then she started doing what I said above and I couldn’t take it mentally anymore. I think it was best for both of us. I know she’s happier now and to be honest I am too. I just wish she had got the proper help earlier.
I have to as i am not financially doing well and had to let her go so that at least she can be happy with someone else. She too loves me but things are taking time for me.
Yes, we started dating when I was 31 and she was 26. I told her right away that kids were not something that I had ever aspired to and was incredibly unlikely to change my mind.
She was more open minded to having kids from the start, but seemingly accepted my position.
Fast forward two years and I could see how she would light up around children and it became increasingly obvious that while she too loved me and would stick it out, ultimately she was likely to grow to resent me for that over a long enough time horizon.
It felt unfair to ask her to forgo something she so clearly wanted, and biological clocks being what they are, I went ahead and broke up with her despite still having all the love I’m capable of for her.
That was 4 years ago, I heard thru the grapevine that she was married within a year or so thereafter and sincerely hope she was able to have kids and is doing amazing!
I had a head injury. I don’t think she could shake the memory of what I was before that. I don’t blame her. We’re still involved. But not romantically.
Yes. It was a 1 way street. I loved her. She “liked” me. Sex was fantastic. We had fun. Similar goals. But she would never completely commit. Oh well. Moved on.
Technically she left me but I know I could have got her back if I put efforts forward.
I didn’t. I loved her so much but we were not good for each other. I had substance abuse issues and she was an alcoholic and we’d never have been able to straighten out together. She would never give up drinking for me.
I’m in the process of doing so. Why? Because no matter how much you love someone, how much you give, how much you try to hold on – you can’t make someone love you the same way.
It hurts. But I have come to the conclusion that life is always going to hurt and it’s better to choose to hurt in grief than to hurt holding onto something that was never real.
Yup. We fought a lot and I could see we would not be able To raise kids together. She was hot. Ex figure skater and great in bed but volatile and I knew I would
Lose respect for
Her over time
Yes. My wife of 25 years.
Why? Because if we didn’t separate and divorce immediately one of us was gonna beat the other to death with a wet noodle.
Only so many years a human can put up with another. Seeing each other every night. Same conversations. Same complaints and bitching. Same jealousy. Same sound of their voice. The way they breath, or walk, or blink.
LMAO
She asked me to stay, but even though I loved her, I knew moving city was the right choice for me.
She couldn’t move with me, and I wouldn’t have been happy staying where she was. I’ve tried long distance before, and it’s fucking horrible, so I wasn’t going to do it again, so I broke up with her.
I left a woman who I cared deeply for, but I’m not totally sure I was “in love” with her when I finally pulled the plug. And it was because she was driving me crazy. She was sabotaging our relationship (starting fights about things and just being generally pretty mean), but it’s not clear to me if it was intentional, or maybe subconsciously intentional. Either way, I’d had enough of putting up with it, so I got out.
I still did really like her 95% of the time, though. It was the 5% that I just couldn’t deal with anymore.
Many years ago. She wanted kids. And was very bipolar. And could not leave the bed at times. So i would have had to take care of her and a baby on my own. Couldent do it. Never regretted it. Shes dead now. Killed her self last year.
25 years ago, I was forced out of military service (previously undetected health condition), had no car, no job, no place to live and had to move in with my estranged mother — I was so depressed I broke up with my girlfriend knowing I was no good for her. She was wonderful, I was garbage.
Yes, she wanted to move out of state and have kids I wanted to stay in my hometown and hold off on kids. It was clear she was intending to that with me or find someone who would do it with her so we broke things off then and there. We still stay in contact as friends, we just weren’t compatible significant others.
I left a woman who was the physical manifestation of an ideal woman for me. Gorgeous, smart, interesting and successful. I loved her.
Sadly she just wasn’t really a nice person, to me at least. She didn’t respect me and it was obvious. She started to treat me worse as time went on. I could have just settled but being with her made me sad deep down. Ive been through too much and done so much good in my life to have accepted that.
It’s so far been one of the best decisions in my life, it would have crashed and burned so much worse.
I was madly in love with her and now, about 2 years later I’m still feeling weird thinking about her.
She wasn’t willing to do any of the sacrifices I was willing to do to be with her. She was asking if my kids could make sacrifices for her. She didn’t offer any solutions and just expected me to fold on everything.
Addict, got old. Only so much I could put up with. She got busted, went to jail, bonded out and 2 days later caught again, back to jail, did not bond out and had to stay in jail for like almost 3 months before she had her court because they wanted to see if she was mentally able to and held it up a bit, got sentenced a year of probation and had to go to a bunch of druggie classes, violated probation within a week, back to jail for like 4 months, back onto probation with daily drug checkins, got off probation and not even 8 hours later she back doing meth. “I am just doing a little because I wanted to remember what it was like”. Kept getting fired from jobs because she’d get her first paycheck and go do drugs with it then show up to work again and get fired. Idiot. She also was schizophrenic and pretty fine when not on drugs unless she was tired… on drugs though it amped it up to like 11. She definitely is not a functional addict, you can tell she is on something and she won’t stop binging it. Be talking to herself nonstop and breaking her stuff. Went to the store and bought ten things of salt and threw them all over my house to keep demons away. Not sprinkles, there were mounds of it all over around every entrance, on the furniture. That was last straw, either back to rehab or you leave and she left.
yes, she didnt love herself enough and also went through a lot of unresolved trauma, causing a lot of uneeded arguments and didnt do things to make her situation better. it was causing a lot of toxicity in the relationship, but she wasnt all at fault. had to leave for the better of both of us
Yea she loved Dallas and I absolutely hated that city. Would have been miserable and angry 24/7 if I stayed. She loved it and couldn’t see herself leaving
Oh wow. Yeah, I did. I thought I was going to marry her, actually.
Fell hard and fast for a woman in my 20s. Over the course of three years it became clear she had no respect for me and considered herself “better” than me (out of my league or whatever).
She started a teaching job and it just sucked the life out of her and she took it out on me.
She made several big life decisions that impacted our relationship without consulting me (turning it long-distance, extending that distance by a year, moving back but not moving in together etc)
It got to the point where her disrespect for me was so pronounced my friends noticed, and one asked if the relationship had become abusive. I had to have enough respect for myself to realise she was never going to turn back into the person I fell for
Thought the grass was greener. Biggest mistake of my life! She was The One I should’ve settled with. She’s thought of everyday of my life. It’s my torture.
She wanted to be with someone else, but loved me too much to break up with me. She didn’t deny it. We were together 3 years, and it took 3 days for her to “accidentally “ run into the other guy. 2 weeks later they were official.
Yeah, I did and it was the hardest breakup of my life. We were both very much in love sexually ideal for one another, but she didn’t want kids. She already had an 18 year-old daughter, and that was a dealbreaker for me.
Yes, and I still love today after a year and a half. It was a long distance relationship. We saw each other with regular visits, but she wanted me to move to where she lives. I had a lot going on with my kid at the time, and my dad was having some health issues. I wanted a future with her but could not do so at that time. That cause causing her issues. Since I couldn’t give her what she wanted I let her go so she could find it with some one else.
I’m a girl going through a breakup actually right now and the boy that broke up with me did it because my mom was extremely narcissistic and abusive to me due to our relationship. He was so kind to me and even very loving during the breakup but it is soo heart wrenching. I wonder if he thinks of me with love or regret or sadness. We were each others first loves and he tried his best to wait for me, but “waiting” for me never factored in my toxic family life.
After a year of dating she said she still didn’t trust me. I get that her previous boyfriend sucked and cheated on her, but after a year, that was too much. I hadn’t done anything to make her not trust me.
Yes, she was in love with someone else and was to blind to see it. I don’t like to change or “fight” ergo I stopped it just to be the one miserable for quite a long time.
Also I had a girlfriend which had the desire to fight. Also she got physical while fighting which is a very hard no for me. Like she really needed the drama/action/(attention ?).
She was intelligent and great in many other areas, but I like harmony and if I have a fight I like to find a solution. But if there is no reason for a fight you cannot find a solution. Maybe it was even abusive if I think now of it, but as she was very small and I was not; so nobody would have believed or seen that 🤔.
Loved them, probably still do. The longer we were together the more I realized we wanted different things. I enjoy socializing and they were constantly hampering that. I noticed I just wasn’t as happy without socializing and having abstract conversations. The more I wasn’t around them but friends and family the happier I started feeling.
Can’t have one with the other present it seems and any attempts to mend the situation turn into exhausting fights
And attempts to escape your own reality and home.
I would say it’s about 50/50 there have been times when I was still very much into a relationship that ended and there have been times I loved a woman very much but it wasn’t working and had to end
Yes. She was an unfortunate product of growing up with a psychotic narcissist for a mother/physically abusive father, and had deep-seated pathological behaviors that ultimately made her impossible to be with.
It absolutely shattered my heart into fucking pieces to leave her, because she was, in her own way, deeply in love with me… and I was in love with the glimpses of who she was, when she wasn’t being a manipulative psycho with an absolute inability to take accountability or responsibility for her actions and behavior.
Just a scared, confused little girl trying to keep someone she deeply loved in her life, in the only way she knew how to.
The fucked up part is, I still think about her sometimes, and wonder what could’ve been.
I was interested in someone and fell for them hard. Lie I was a giggling smiling idiot when I was in their company. Everyone around knew. That person knew. Turns out that person was a foreign exchange student and told me they were leaving at the end of the year. We were in college. We spent time talking to each other and enjoyed each other’s company. When that person told me they were leaving at the end of the year. I started to withdraw from hang outs because I knew it was going to hurt. So, I chose to do that because I was trying to soften the blow. Well the end of the year came. We were on winter break and I cried in bed the whole break..I experienced an emotional pain that shifted something inside. Instead of avoiding the pain, I pushed into it until I couldn’t anymore. I pushed past my intuition when it told me to stop. I had goosebumps, chills and an emotional shock that left me in a temporary state of paralysis. I just laid there in bed feeling the goosebumps and chills leave my body. After pushing through it initially was hell, but as I fell deeper I was overcome with this blanket of warmth. I was a different person than who I was before. The spring semester came and I was surprised to find out that person was there. They meant the end of the school year, not the actual year. However instead of having all those feelings i had before, it was replaced with that painful feeling, as time went on I spent more time away, and eventually stopped talking to them. They’d wave, but I couldn’t because it was that painful.
This was years ago now. I’m not who I was before, nor Ami the person who came out of that storm anymore.
She was neglecting herself and her animals. We worked on it for over a year. When we broke up, she thrived. It think it was me. I still love her and want to be with her.
Woman here. Let me say, on behalf of all other women; I am so very sorry that you were betrayed. I have been betrated by my partners, and I am not the same person with light in my eyes. Love isn’t blind. We are just viewing the world through our own messy and dirty glasses. I really hope the best and more for us all ♡
I didn’t realize until later that my feelings for her were based on her love bombing me for a few months. After that began to wear off mostly what was left was unwarranted anger, belittlement, control, withholding of affection, and manipulation. I left because the person I loved seemed to have disappeared, before I later realized she was never there in the first place.
Yes. High school sweetheart. Her patents totally controlled her life. I foresaw it would never change even after we got married. I couldn’t live that way. 35 years ago and I still l9bg for her.
Yes. Her ex “manipulated” her to send her picture through threats. She kept it from me. Lied to me when I knew. Gas lit me to not lose me. And destroyed any trust I had. But there ain’t a day that goes by I don’t think about her and her daughter but if I let myself in. I have to hear her ex regularly and I have to try and pretend it’s all OK. I can’t it breaks me everytime
Once. And to this day, if she came to me, and asked for a second chance, it would be hard for me to say no.
Our love was certainly real enough, but we were toxic together. We loved each other, but we had completely different interests, and while i wanted to raise dogs and do small contract work in masonry repair and restoration, she wanted us to go off grid, and live off the land, and while she didnt hate dogs, she was extremely phobic of them due to a childhood incident, and i was in the process of getting a service dog for a heart condition.
I chose to end it, because she kept hurting herself emotionally by trying to accommodate my needs, and i didnt want her to keep making sacrifices for me, when there was nothing i could reasonably sacrifice for her.
Yes, we were engaged but when we met she was already married, got divorced but was hesitant to our relationship because she thought she was lesbian. During our relationship it appears more and more that she kind was afraid of the family backlash if she got out of the closet. Her family was like owner of a Gold company in Africa and top government in Canada. After four years together I gave her a bullshit excuse so she could have the opportunity to live the life that she wanted. She has now 3 kids with a woman she loves. When I told her that my wife was pregnant she cried and told me she wanted to be the mother of my child. It’s been 15 years and we still see each other’s every 6 months but I never had the courage to told her the truth. I see myself as a selfish man but when I think about that I am kind of proud of not thinking of myself first. She met the love of her life and I am truly happy for her.
One of them was because I had an opportunity to migrate to a better country. Having been born in a dumpster of a country I couldn’t pass. And she couldn’t come with me.
The second one was because I got another woman pregnant. That time it didn’t hit me so hard because I know my feelings were not reciprocated to the same extent.
I feel like I should. I was cheated on once before in a 4 year relationship. Yeah it hurt but I wouldn’t take her back.
My wife of 15 years cheated almost a year and a half ago. We have kid, house,lives.
I was convinced by my dad to stay of if I could. He mental health played a role…but keeps playing one. I have very strong feelings but get little from the relationship.
I’ve talked to others and they think there are a lot of signs of abuse, therapist I used to have thought she had signs of borderline personality disorder, her doctor said she has.bipolar, she has ADHD, multiple other diagnosis. Runs up credit cards, behaves badly enough at bars her friend cut off the relationship….breaks trust in so.many ways. Two completely different standards one for her and one for me.
Goes on and on…but she is great with my daughter, great caretaker if I need something….yet super inconsistent. I feel a million bucks and we hang out…then gaslit for even holding her hang.
Bottom line, I’ve prioritized love and attraction. I still have those..but nothing else (for me, she brings.plenty for our kid).
Yes. She put me down every time we argued. Not lightly either; more like “I don’t know why I’m with a loser like you.” You hear that a few times in a row after two years together and you know it ain’t gonna work. I hope she found someone up to her standards
I loved her but hated my lifestyle. There was an age gap and she reached an age where she seemed content to just sit inside four walls every day, whereas I wanted to eat out at different restaurants, go on holidays, whatever whatever.
Eventually I had to save myself and get out of it, and get back into the world.
She had a young child. Only two when we met. Father was a friend of hers who decided he didn’t want to be a dad, and just bailed. She struggled a lot. Pressure was on me to get married to be a role model, and complete the family. I wasn’t ready for it, especially that early. I didn’t blame her though, seeing how tough a single mother has it when a man is too irresponsible and uncaring to step up for thier child. I don’t have kids, but cannot understand how someone just can’t care about a human they helped create. There’s too many stories like this.
We stayed in touch for several years. She got a great job, and did well for herself. I was so happy to hear it. Even 20 years later when I think about it I think “fuck you Dave for being such a cold hearted douche.”
yes, the last two. first, my wife of 20 years because she needed to “find herself” by sleeping with anyone but me.
second, my last girl was too young but the best woman I’ve ever known. I didn’t want to keep her from having a full life. then she slept with my only other friend. still hurts…
We had an extremely rocky 8.5 year relationship. I loved her with all my heart, but near the end of the relationship I realized that love simply wasn’t enough.
Our relationship was a lot like a fractile. There were always problems, but those problems always had excuses, but those excuses always had their own problems and so on and so forth to infinity. She was extremely challenging, for some reason I was under this impression that “you should find someone who challenges you” meant you need to put up with everything, and just figure out a way to make it work. Overcome every challenge.
For the entire 8.5 years we never went more than a year or two without a breakup. She would always break up with me, I would always fight for her back and I would always get her back.
Also that entire 8.5 years, both of our lives were on a pretty consistent downward trajectory. Neither of us were starting careers or holding down steady jobs, and our lives just looked more and more bleak. I always felt like great things would be around the corner, and if we could just get past whatever issue we were facing it would be smooth sailing, but there was always another issue around the corner. Whenever things actually started going well, she would manufacture drama.
Our final fight was over the stupidest thing. We were going to a music festival with my best friend who was our roommate. It was a 6 hour drive we were sharing a hotel suite with him and a couple other friends, and for some reason she was insistent that our roommate didn’t carpool with us. I thought that was rediculous. I knew they had been having their issues, but we were leaving from the same place, and going to the same place, why wouldn’t we just drive together, that was stupid.
So she dumped me, and this time I just didn’t feel like it was worth fighting to get her back. I was tired, and I didn’t like where either of our lives was headed, and I just felt like it would be better that we ended it.
I’m very glad I did. About a year later I met the most amazing woman, she and I genuinely encourage eachother to improve ourselves, instead of her being a constant challenge for me in every way. She challenges me sure, but in ways that push me to do better and she switches to encouragement mode whenever I hit my limit. We just got married a couple of months ago, and I couldn’t be happier.
Meanwhile my ex almost immediately married this guy who I was “just being jealous/controlling about there was nothing really going on” and had a baby with him in very short order. They got divorced within 3 years of that, and I mostly lost touch but it sounds like her life has not been going well at all. I feel bad about that because I still love her and want her to do well, but I also know that that is largely her own fault and I am relieved that she is no longer my responsibility.
I dont tolerate lies, flakes, ditchers, etc; so i have removed a lot of people from my life even if i cared for them and still do care for them, some i would have died for
I have yet to meet people that are essentially really focused on ethics, lying is something i wont do, if she asks me if this dress makes her look fat, i would say yes, a lie is a lie to me
Lying is 2nd nature to most people in the world, ghosting, flaking, being late, its all disrespectful behavior and i wont deal with it
Yes. Narcissism… it destroyed who I was, and I knew that for the sake of my relationship with my son, I had to get out and get my mental health back before she destroyed us both.
Im pretty sure now she was madly in love with me altough we were only 18, likewise i was madly in love with her. The circumstances we lived in lead me to believe it was only a matter of time until she would leave me, plus i was really insecure at the time. So i thought better stop it now before getting hurt. Couldn‘t even tell you how i came to that conclusion exactly.
A stupid mistake as i know now.
I sometimes still regret it and think of what could‘ve been.
She used to get black out drunk and hit me because she was schizophrenic. When she was sober we could get through her mental illness stuff together but it got to a point where she would keep hitting me and she wouldn’t leave when I asked her to and I had to get police involved. This was all like a week ago too so it’s very fresh and sad but I somehow still have some love for her.
I left her because she didn’t want to join my cult (Mormon church). She even waited for me to come back from my Mormon mission. I’ve since left that church.
My guy left me because I don’t believe in spanking my kid and our future children that we would foster (found out later you can’t spank foster kids or other children in the home anyways)
He’s very religious and believes it’s the only right way to parent. Refused to talk to his priest about it because if he got a different answer it may shake the foundation of his faith. He was totally cool about going and talking to a priest of his own volition about premarital sex. But not this. and it ended us.
Love is absolutely not the be all and end all in relationships. Big respect to everyone in the thread who has left people they have loved because they realised that the relationship or the person they were with wasn’t right for them. It can be incredibly hard to face the reality of situations when that reality is inevitably going to involve pain, potentially both for yourself and for people you love.
We lived an hour from each other, she had five kids from 6 to 15 which were all great and not the issue, but Her ex husband was an abusive maniac every way and she dealt with his a few times a week. She had a bad car wreck and was fired from her job during recovery, got real bad financially and I helped as much as I could. She turned me down to have her and kids come live with me and instead choose to move in with her ex. I broke it off and soon ghosted. The ex ended up terrorizing the kids and they are all fucked up now, he beat her and broke her arm. The judge dropped all charges against him.
Yes. I was taking a break from college to earn money for college. She did not go to college right after graduating HS. I loved her. She loved me. I broke up with her because I knew the girls in college who were dating someone long distance either cheated or had a different college experience. I enjoyed my years in college so much, I wanted that for her.
We remained “friends” then lost contact then found each other on FB. We message each other for a while, but not so much anymore. FYI, We are in our 50s.
She was too good for me, which I realized long before she did. Once I was aware of that, it felt pointless to continue a relationship. It was especially hard because things were going well, almost too perfect. I kept having the same intrusive thoughts, that if I let this go on too long, get too comfortable being in a relationship, I’d have a meltdown once it inevitably happens.
She was 24 I was 32. We met at a bar and instantly hit it off. We had great physical chemistry. She was smart and accomplished for her age.
Initially, I didn’t expect it to turn into anything serious, but things did get serious. We dated for a few months and really enjoyed each other’s company. But I couldn’t shake the fact that she was 24 and has so much life to live.
Over time, it became obvious that we were at different stages of life— at least to me. I just couldn’t see a future for us.
I broke up with her. It was painful, but it was the right thing to do for both of us.
I still think about her, it’s been months since I’ve seen, or spoken to her. I’ve dated a few other girls since, and had a lot of fun, but it just wasn’t the same.
Yup, she cheated. I left the second I found out and never talked to her again. Doing much better now, but man those first few months were pretty rough. Definitely loved her but I respect myself far more
Comments
No, I would die for her even if she stabbed my stomach.
She asked me to share my onion rings with her after I offered to buy her her own.
Sometimes you realize she just doesn’t love you back.
Sometimes you realize she isn’t even capable of it because her anxiety and panic will never let her attention waver from the all consuming void inside her that she is trying to fill, and everything she does in her life is to find someone who will achieve that one impossible goal. In light of that everything you give will be fed into the maw and lost, appreciated for a second, but never treasured, as she searches for more from anyone and everyone forever.
At the end of the day, nobody can make her feel like she is worthy and valid. You have to judge yourself and decide in your own mind and trust your own judgment. When you cannot do that, external validation and love is just pouring water onto a broken jug.
Yes. Big brother asked me if I would keep putting my hand in the fire after it kept burning me. Moving on and growing up isn’t always a bad thing.
She was dishonest, an alcoholic and exhibited narcissistic traits. Leaving was hard but absolutely necessary.
Yes. She cheated. I hate that i still love her
I did. We had very different ideas about what we wanted to do with our lives. It was clear to both of us that our visions were absolutely incompatible.
Love is the easy part of relationships. The hard part is trust, respect and liking yourself in the relationship. I had none of those with my ex, and decided needed those things to be healthy and happy. Love wasn’t the issue.
Not compatible
Yup. I’d ask, ‘Want anything?’ and she’d say, ‘No, I’m good.’ Then 10 minutes later she’s fork-deep in my plate like a raccoon in a trash can. Love wasn’t enough—I just wanted to eat in peace.
Young and stupid!
We argued every day and I realized I wasn’t happy
I think I’d never love anyone like I loved her but she deserves so much better and I wasn’t able to give her that at that time in our lives so I let her go so she could have everything she ever dreamed of. I think of her everyday and I look her up sometimes and she has everything she wanted and it makes me so happy. I just pray she’s mine in the afterlife.
Yes, she wanted switch back from cohabitating to not, and I realized cohabitation was a relationship goal of mine. We called it off before we grew resentment. I honestly still love her – healthiest relationship of my life. Of all the butts, yours was the badonkist, Dawn.
Bc I am a fucking idiot
They started thinking about children.
I was clear from day one that I won’t so I left.
I didn’t like who she was when she drank
When I started dating her she had cute twelve year old twin girls. Three years later, they were 15 year old monsters. I couldn’t stand to be around them anymore.
Yep, would have married my high school sweetheart but wasn’t willing to sign up for the chaos side of her. She hit it out of the park on all things except for loyalty.
She’s still beautiful, still highly intelligent, and successful in terms of career. She is also on her third marriage before 40, meanwhile my wife and I have a marriage that sometimes makes others envious. Dodged the biggest bullet of my life.
Don’t settle in terms of beauty OR the mental side of things. It’s a shame that more men don’t pay attention to both metrics.
Yes, cause she cheated on me. I don’t know what led her to do it, but leaving was the only option I was left with.
The only option to bring me a future and peace
I did. We were a great match. Never fought. Dated for 2 years. But graduated college together and got jobs in different states. We mutually split amicably knowing long distance just wouldn’t work. Now we both found different soulmates, and are happily married with kids. We don’t keep in touch but still support each other milestones like saying “congrats on the new job / baby” or whatever
When I was younger, I was in a 3 year relationship with a girl I really loved. We lived together, but were absolutely skint. I thought I was doing the right thing for us by going to university so that I could improve our living situation / train to get a better career. It was only meant to be a temporary parting of ways (she was going to move up at the end of the first year) but the long distance relationship shit just eroded us, and within 6 months we’d broken up. I don’t regret going to university, but I’d love to be able to have a look at how my life might’ve panned out otherwise.
We were functional drug addicts. We talked about getting clean for years. The day we were supposed to go to rehab she ran away. I went and got clean. 5 weeks later I came back and stuck with her for almost a year. I did my best to help her, support her, encourage her. I didn’t want to push her too hard because I didn’t want to push her away.
She didn’t want help. She wouldn’t do outpatient care or therapy of any kind. No detox. Nothing. There were stretches of good weeks, then bad weeks. People don’t change even when they need to. They have to want to. She snuck out one day and was gone for 16 hours. I never let her set foot in my place again. While I was gathering her things I discovered she was hiding drugs all over my apartment. She even made a hole inside a teddy bear I bought her and stuffed a little drug kit up there.
It hurt like hell to let go of someone I loved so much, and who needed so much help. That’s what it felt like. It felt like I let go of someone who needed help. Then one day somebody told me “you didn’t let go of her. You were holding on to yourself.”
We both loved each other but she was extremely depressed. Would threaten to hurt herself, not answer texts or calls leaving me to wonder what’s happening where she is and if she’s ok. If she texted back they would be insults directed at me or telling me to leave her alone. There’s more but not worth getting into. We were together for a while. She broke up with me after a bit over 4 years. We got back together and then she started doing what I said above and I couldn’t take it mentally anymore. I think it was best for both of us. I know she’s happier now and to be honest I am too. I just wish she had got the proper help earlier.
I have to as i am not financially doing well and had to let her go so that at least she can be happy with someone else. She too loves me but things are taking time for me.
Yes, our lives were pulling us apart. This was early 20’s.
I couldn’t afford to stay in the city I was living in and took a job overseas, hoping to come back one day.
She kept treating it as a game that I wasn’t allowed to know the rules to. I had to get out for my mental health.
Yes, we started dating when I was 31 and she was 26. I told her right away that kids were not something that I had ever aspired to and was incredibly unlikely to change my mind.
She was more open minded to having kids from the start, but seemingly accepted my position.
Fast forward two years and I could see how she would light up around children and it became increasingly obvious that while she too loved me and would stick it out, ultimately she was likely to grow to resent me for that over a long enough time horizon.
It felt unfair to ask her to forgo something she so clearly wanted, and biological clocks being what they are, I went ahead and broke up with her despite still having all the love I’m capable of for her.
That was 4 years ago, I heard thru the grapevine that she was married within a year or so thereafter and sincerely hope she was able to have kids and is doing amazing!
We met in college. To get a good job I had to go back home, there was no way she would leave her family.
The relationship wasn’t healthy and I wasn’t happy. Love doesn’t make up for a lack of happiness and satisfaction.
I had a head injury. I don’t think she could shake the memory of what I was before that. I don’t blame her. We’re still involved. But not romantically.
Yes, I couldn’t get out of my own damn head, it was my fault, still care about her and hope she’s doing okay
She was an abusive cheater
Nope, but I did realize that I can’t fix her. She made the commitment to fixing herself so I stayed.
Yes. It was a 1 way street. I loved her. She “liked” me. Sex was fantastic. We had fun. Similar goals. But she would never completely commit. Oh well. Moved on.
Yes but the disrespect was too much. Gotta love yourself first and understand your self worth. More important than anything.
She posted a picture of her and her friends…except that she was sitting on a male friend’s lap…while I was deployed to Iraq.
Technically she left me but I know I could have got her back if I put efforts forward.
I didn’t. I loved her so much but we were not good for each other. I had substance abuse issues and she was an alcoholic and we’d never have been able to straighten out together. She would never give up drinking for me.
I’m in the process of doing so. Why? Because no matter how much you love someone, how much you give, how much you try to hold on – you can’t make someone love you the same way.
It hurts. But I have come to the conclusion that life is always going to hurt and it’s better to choose to hurt in grief than to hurt holding onto something that was never real.
Yup. We fought a lot and I could see we would not be able To raise kids together. She was hot. Ex figure skater and great in bed but volatile and I knew I would
Lose respect for
Her over time
she fucked half the football team. it was a wrap after that 🤷
Yes. My wife of 25 years.
Why? Because if we didn’t separate and divorce immediately one of us was gonna beat the other to death with a wet noodle.
Only so many years a human can put up with another. Seeing each other every night. Same conversations. Same complaints and bitching. Same jealousy. Same sound of their voice. The way they breath, or walk, or blink.
LMAO
My health was deteriorating.
Yes, we had very different goals in life.
She asked me to stay, but even though I loved her, I knew moving city was the right choice for me.
She couldn’t move with me, and I wouldn’t have been happy staying where she was. I’ve tried long distance before, and it’s fucking horrible, so I wasn’t going to do it again, so I broke up with her.
I left a woman who I cared deeply for, but I’m not totally sure I was “in love” with her when I finally pulled the plug. And it was because she was driving me crazy. She was sabotaging our relationship (starting fights about things and just being generally pretty mean), but it’s not clear to me if it was intentional, or maybe subconsciously intentional. Either way, I’d had enough of putting up with it, so I got out.
I still did really like her 95% of the time, though. It was the 5% that I just couldn’t deal with anymore.
Yes. You can love someone and still not be good for each other.
Yes, I had really bad depression and convinced myself she hated me and was only with me as a joke which she was about to announce to all our friends.
She did not hate me, depression is a cunt.
Many years ago. She wanted kids. And was very bipolar. And could not leave the bed at times. So i would have had to take care of her and a baby on my own. Couldent do it. Never regretted it. Shes dead now. Killed her self last year.
Yes. I knew I wasn’t a good fit for her, and I would rather her find someone who is good for her.
Mmhmm, she cheated on me. It was very painful.
25 years ago, I was forced out of military service (previously undetected health condition), had no car, no job, no place to live and had to move in with my estranged mother — I was so depressed I broke up with my girlfriend knowing I was no good for her. She was wonderful, I was garbage.
Abuse, drama trauma, and learning that I can love myself first
Yes, she wanted to move out of state and have kids I wanted to stay in my hometown and hold off on kids. It was clear she was intending to that with me or find someone who would do it with her so we broke things off then and there. We still stay in contact as friends, we just weren’t compatible significant others.
I left a woman who was the physical manifestation of an ideal woman for me. Gorgeous, smart, interesting and successful. I loved her.
Sadly she just wasn’t really a nice person, to me at least. She didn’t respect me and it was obvious. She started to treat me worse as time went on. I could have just settled but being with her made me sad deep down. Ive been through too much and done so much good in my life to have accepted that.
It’s so far been one of the best decisions in my life, it would have crashed and burned so much worse.
I was madly in love with her and now, about 2 years later I’m still feeling weird thinking about her.
She wasn’t willing to do any of the sacrifices I was willing to do to be with her. She was asking if my kids could make sacrifices for her. She didn’t offer any solutions and just expected me to fold on everything.
Addict, got old. Only so much I could put up with. She got busted, went to jail, bonded out and 2 days later caught again, back to jail, did not bond out and had to stay in jail for like almost 3 months before she had her court because they wanted to see if she was mentally able to and held it up a bit, got sentenced a year of probation and had to go to a bunch of druggie classes, violated probation within a week, back to jail for like 4 months, back onto probation with daily drug checkins, got off probation and not even 8 hours later she back doing meth. “I am just doing a little because I wanted to remember what it was like”. Kept getting fired from jobs because she’d get her first paycheck and go do drugs with it then show up to work again and get fired. Idiot. She also was schizophrenic and pretty fine when not on drugs unless she was tired… on drugs though it amped it up to like 11. She definitely is not a functional addict, you can tell she is on something and she won’t stop binging it. Be talking to herself nonstop and breaking her stuff. Went to the store and bought ten things of salt and threw them all over my house to keep demons away. Not sprinkles, there were mounds of it all over around every entrance, on the furniture. That was last straw, either back to rehab or you leave and she left.
Yeah
My first and only GF
I wasn’t confident in anything
Yes, many decades ago. I was thinking with my little head not my big one.
Because she was extremely abusive. I wish that stopped me from loving her.
yes, she didnt love herself enough and also went through a lot of unresolved trauma, causing a lot of uneeded arguments and didnt do things to make her situation better. it was causing a lot of toxicity in the relationship, but she wasnt all at fault. had to leave for the better of both of us
Yes. I thought she would be better off without me.
Yeah, because she deserved better than I could ever provide.
Still love her, arguably, and that was all 15 years ago or so now.
Yea she loved Dallas and I absolutely hated that city. Would have been miserable and angry 24/7 if I stayed. She loved it and couldn’t see herself leaving
At least twice. Both times brought lasting pain.
Oh wow. Yeah, I did. I thought I was going to marry her, actually.
Fell hard and fast for a woman in my 20s. Over the course of three years it became clear she had no respect for me and considered herself “better” than me (out of my league or whatever).
She started a teaching job and it just sucked the life out of her and she took it out on me.
She made several big life decisions that impacted our relationship without consulting me (turning it long-distance, extending that distance by a year, moving back but not moving in together etc)
It got to the point where her disrespect for me was so pronounced my friends noticed, and one asked if the relationship had become abusive. I had to have enough respect for myself to realise she was never going to turn back into the person I fell for
Thought the grass was greener. Biggest mistake of my life! She was The One I should’ve settled with. She’s thought of everyday of my life. It’s my torture.
She wanted to be with someone else, but loved me too much to break up with me. She didn’t deny it. We were together 3 years, and it took 3 days for her to “accidentally “ run into the other guy. 2 weeks later they were official.
she didnt love me back
Yeah, I did and it was the hardest breakup of my life. We were both very much in love sexually ideal for one another, but she didn’t want kids. She already had an 18 year-old daughter, and that was a dealbreaker for me.
Yes, and I still love today after a year and a half. It was a long distance relationship. We saw each other with regular visits, but she wanted me to move to where she lives. I had a lot going on with my kid at the time, and my dad was having some health issues. I wanted a future with her but could not do so at that time. That cause causing her issues. Since I couldn’t give her what she wanted I let her go so she could find it with some one else.
I’m a girl going through a breakup actually right now and the boy that broke up with me did it because my mom was extremely narcissistic and abusive to me due to our relationship. He was so kind to me and even very loving during the breakup but it is soo heart wrenching. I wonder if he thinks of me with love or regret or sadness. We were each others first loves and he tried his best to wait for me, but “waiting” for me never factored in my toxic family life.
After a year of dating she said she still didn’t trust me. I get that her previous boyfriend sucked and cheated on her, but after a year, that was too much. I hadn’t done anything to make her not trust me.
Yes, she was in love with someone else and was to blind to see it. I don’t like to change or “fight” ergo I stopped it just to be the one miserable for quite a long time.
Also I had a girlfriend which had the desire to fight. Also she got physical while fighting which is a very hard no for me. Like she really needed the drama/action/(attention ?).
She was intelligent and great in many other areas, but I like harmony and if I have a fight I like to find a solution. But if there is no reason for a fight you cannot find a solution. Maybe it was even abusive if I think now of it, but as she was very small and I was not; so nobody would have believed or seen that 🤔.
Loved them, probably still do. The longer we were together the more I realized we wanted different things. I enjoy socializing and they were constantly hampering that. I noticed I just wasn’t as happy without socializing and having abstract conversations. The more I wasn’t around them but friends and family the happier I started feeling.
Yes, she became physically abusive and refused to go to therapy. Leaving was one of my greatest acts of self-love to date.
Love is a choice
Being walked on is as well.
Can’t have one with the other present it seems and any attempts to mend the situation turn into exhausting fights
And attempts to escape your own reality and home.
I would say it’s about 50/50 there have been times when I was still very much into a relationship that ended and there have been times I loved a woman very much but it wasn’t working and had to end
Because I’m an idiot
Yes. She was an unfortunate product of growing up with a psychotic narcissist for a mother/physically abusive father, and had deep-seated pathological behaviors that ultimately made her impossible to be with.
It absolutely shattered my heart into fucking pieces to leave her, because she was, in her own way, deeply in love with me… and I was in love with the glimpses of who she was, when she wasn’t being a manipulative psycho with an absolute inability to take accountability or responsibility for her actions and behavior.
Just a scared, confused little girl trying to keep someone she deeply loved in her life, in the only way she knew how to.
The fucked up part is, I still think about her sometimes, and wonder what could’ve been.
Yes, because we didn’t communicate well, I was immature, and was brainwashed by Red Pill content
I was interested in someone and fell for them hard. Lie I was a giggling smiling idiot when I was in their company. Everyone around knew. That person knew. Turns out that person was a foreign exchange student and told me they were leaving at the end of the year. We were in college. We spent time talking to each other and enjoyed each other’s company. When that person told me they were leaving at the end of the year. I started to withdraw from hang outs because I knew it was going to hurt. So, I chose to do that because I was trying to soften the blow. Well the end of the year came. We were on winter break and I cried in bed the whole break..I experienced an emotional pain that shifted something inside. Instead of avoiding the pain, I pushed into it until I couldn’t anymore. I pushed past my intuition when it told me to stop. I had goosebumps, chills and an emotional shock that left me in a temporary state of paralysis. I just laid there in bed feeling the goosebumps and chills leave my body. After pushing through it initially was hell, but as I fell deeper I was overcome with this blanket of warmth. I was a different person than who I was before. The spring semester came and I was surprised to find out that person was there. They meant the end of the school year, not the actual year. However instead of having all those feelings i had before, it was replaced with that painful feeling, as time went on I spent more time away, and eventually stopped talking to them. They’d wave, but I couldn’t because it was that painful.
This was years ago now. I’m not who I was before, nor Ami the person who came out of that storm anymore.
She was neglecting herself and her animals. We worked on it for over a year. When we broke up, she thrived. It think it was me. I still love her and want to be with her.
Woman here. Let me say, on behalf of all other women; I am so very sorry that you were betrayed. I have been betrated by my partners, and I am not the same person with light in my eyes. Love isn’t blind. We are just viewing the world through our own messy and dirty glasses. I really hope the best and more for us all ♡
Yes, all of them. They treated me poorly and I realized they didn’t love me.
I didn’t realize until later that my feelings for her were based on her love bombing me for a few months. After that began to wear off mostly what was left was unwarranted anger, belittlement, control, withholding of affection, and manipulation. I left because the person I loved seemed to have disappeared, before I later realized she was never there in the first place.
Cheated on me for about a year. 6 years later and I still think about her. Wish I could just let go
Yes. High school sweetheart. Her patents totally controlled her life. I foresaw it would never change even after we got married. I couldn’t live that way. 35 years ago and I still l9bg for her.
Yes. Her ex “manipulated” her to send her picture through threats. She kept it from me. Lied to me when I knew. Gas lit me to not lose me. And destroyed any trust I had. But there ain’t a day that goes by I don’t think about her and her daughter but if I let myself in. I have to hear her ex regularly and I have to try and pretend it’s all OK. I can’t it breaks me everytime
Once. And to this day, if she came to me, and asked for a second chance, it would be hard for me to say no.
Our love was certainly real enough, but we were toxic together. We loved each other, but we had completely different interests, and while i wanted to raise dogs and do small contract work in masonry repair and restoration, she wanted us to go off grid, and live off the land, and while she didnt hate dogs, she was extremely phobic of them due to a childhood incident, and i was in the process of getting a service dog for a heart condition.
I chose to end it, because she kept hurting herself emotionally by trying to accommodate my needs, and i didnt want her to keep making sacrifices for me, when there was nothing i could reasonably sacrifice for her.
Timing. When I was young.
Yes, we were engaged but when we met she was already married, got divorced but was hesitant to our relationship because she thought she was lesbian. During our relationship it appears more and more that she kind was afraid of the family backlash if she got out of the closet. Her family was like owner of a Gold company in Africa and top government in Canada. After four years together I gave her a bullshit excuse so she could have the opportunity to live the life that she wanted. She has now 3 kids with a woman she loves. When I told her that my wife was pregnant she cried and told me she wanted to be the mother of my child. It’s been 15 years and we still see each other’s every 6 months but I never had the courage to told her the truth. I see myself as a selfish man but when I think about that I am kind of proud of not thinking of myself first. She met the love of her life and I am truly happy for her.
Twice.
One of them was because I had an opportunity to migrate to a better country. Having been born in a dumpster of a country I couldn’t pass. And she couldn’t come with me.
The second one was because I got another woman pregnant. That time it didn’t hit me so hard because I know my feelings were not reciprocated to the same extent.
I feel like I should. I was cheated on once before in a 4 year relationship. Yeah it hurt but I wouldn’t take her back.
My wife of 15 years cheated almost a year and a half ago. We have kid, house,lives.
I was convinced by my dad to stay of if I could. He mental health played a role…but keeps playing one. I have very strong feelings but get little from the relationship.
I’ve talked to others and they think there are a lot of signs of abuse, therapist I used to have thought she had signs of borderline personality disorder, her doctor said she has.bipolar, she has ADHD, multiple other diagnosis. Runs up credit cards, behaves badly enough at bars her friend cut off the relationship….breaks trust in so.many ways. Two completely different standards one for her and one for me.
Goes on and on…but she is great with my daughter, great caretaker if I need something….yet super inconsistent. I feel a million bucks and we hang out…then gaslit for even holding her hang.
Bottom line, I’ve prioritized love and attraction. I still have those..but nothing else (for me, she brings.plenty for our kid).
I’m the sole breadwinner, take care
Yes. She kept crossing my boundaries.
Yes. She was abusive and I was trauma-bonded but knew I would never be happy again if I stayed with her.
I wasn’t good for her. I just couldn’t bring myself to hurt someone I loved. We’re still friends, but I just couldn’t do that to her.
Yes. She put me down every time we argued. Not lightly either; more like “I don’t know why I’m with a loser like you.” You hear that a few times in a row after two years together and you know it ain’t gonna work. I hope she found someone up to her standards
I loved her but hated my lifestyle. There was an age gap and she reached an age where she seemed content to just sit inside four walls every day, whereas I wanted to eat out at different restaurants, go on holidays, whatever whatever.
Eventually I had to save myself and get out of it, and get back into the world.
Yes. Long distance. Still not sure if it was the right choice 7 years later
She had a young child. Only two when we met. Father was a friend of hers who decided he didn’t want to be a dad, and just bailed. She struggled a lot. Pressure was on me to get married to be a role model, and complete the family. I wasn’t ready for it, especially that early. I didn’t blame her though, seeing how tough a single mother has it when a man is too irresponsible and uncaring to step up for thier child. I don’t have kids, but cannot understand how someone just can’t care about a human they helped create. There’s too many stories like this.
We stayed in touch for several years. She got a great job, and did well for herself. I was so happy to hear it. Even 20 years later when I think about it I think “fuck you Dave for being such a cold hearted douche.”
yes, the last two. first, my wife of 20 years because she needed to “find herself” by sleeping with anyone but me.
second, my last girl was too young but the best woman I’ve ever known. I didn’t want to keep her from having a full life. then she slept with my only other friend. still hurts…
Yes… I mean, sort of.
We had an extremely rocky 8.5 year relationship. I loved her with all my heart, but near the end of the relationship I realized that love simply wasn’t enough.
Our relationship was a lot like a fractile. There were always problems, but those problems always had excuses, but those excuses always had their own problems and so on and so forth to infinity. She was extremely challenging, for some reason I was under this impression that “you should find someone who challenges you” meant you need to put up with everything, and just figure out a way to make it work. Overcome every challenge.
For the entire 8.5 years we never went more than a year or two without a breakup. She would always break up with me, I would always fight for her back and I would always get her back.
Also that entire 8.5 years, both of our lives were on a pretty consistent downward trajectory. Neither of us were starting careers or holding down steady jobs, and our lives just looked more and more bleak. I always felt like great things would be around the corner, and if we could just get past whatever issue we were facing it would be smooth sailing, but there was always another issue around the corner. Whenever things actually started going well, she would manufacture drama.
Our final fight was over the stupidest thing. We were going to a music festival with my best friend who was our roommate. It was a 6 hour drive we were sharing a hotel suite with him and a couple other friends, and for some reason she was insistent that our roommate didn’t carpool with us. I thought that was rediculous. I knew they had been having their issues, but we were leaving from the same place, and going to the same place, why wouldn’t we just drive together, that was stupid.
So she dumped me, and this time I just didn’t feel like it was worth fighting to get her back. I was tired, and I didn’t like where either of our lives was headed, and I just felt like it would be better that we ended it.
I’m very glad I did. About a year later I met the most amazing woman, she and I genuinely encourage eachother to improve ourselves, instead of her being a constant challenge for me in every way. She challenges me sure, but in ways that push me to do better and she switches to encouragement mode whenever I hit my limit. We just got married a couple of months ago, and I couldn’t be happier.
Meanwhile my ex almost immediately married this guy who I was “just being jealous/controlling about there was nothing really going on” and had a baby with him in very short order. They got divorced within 3 years of that, and I mostly lost touch but it sounds like her life has not been going well at all. I feel bad about that because I still love her and want her to do well, but I also know that that is largely her own fault and I am relieved that she is no longer my responsibility.
Because she was toxic
I dont tolerate lies, flakes, ditchers, etc; so i have removed a lot of people from my life even if i cared for them and still do care for them, some i would have died for
I have yet to meet people that are essentially really focused on ethics, lying is something i wont do, if she asks me if this dress makes her look fat, i would say yes, a lie is a lie to me
Lying is 2nd nature to most people in the world, ghosting, flaking, being late, its all disrespectful behavior and i wont deal with it
She lied
I caught her responding to hookup posts on Reddit
Yes. Narcissism… it destroyed who I was, and I knew that for the sake of my relationship with my son, I had to get out and get my mental health back before she destroyed us both.
Im pretty sure now she was madly in love with me altough we were only 18, likewise i was madly in love with her. The circumstances we lived in lead me to believe it was only a matter of time until she would leave me, plus i was really insecure at the time. So i thought better stop it now before getting hurt. Couldn‘t even tell you how i came to that conclusion exactly.
A stupid mistake as i know now.
I sometimes still regret it and think of what could‘ve been.
She used to get black out drunk and hit me because she was schizophrenic. When she was sober we could get through her mental illness stuff together but it got to a point where she would keep hitting me and she wouldn’t leave when I asked her to and I had to get police involved. This was all like a week ago too so it’s very fresh and sad but I somehow still have some love for her.
I was still in love with her, but she wasn’t with me.
She messed up my mental health, I ended up on psychiatric drugs and became bed-bound for awhile with debilitating anxiety.
Yes. I was convinced my mental health was gonna hurt her.
After 5 months I realized I wasn’t that bad and tried to get her back.
She did not want to, and it haunted me for years.
actually 2, mental abuse.
I left her because she didn’t want to join my cult (Mormon church). She even waited for me to come back from my Mormon mission. I’ve since left that church.
Yes, left because of resting bitch face of the soul and extreme negativity. You can love someone and not like them.
My guy left me because I don’t believe in spanking my kid and our future children that we would foster (found out later you can’t spank foster kids or other children in the home anyways)
He’s very religious and believes it’s the only right way to parent. Refused to talk to his priest about it because if he got a different answer it may shake the foundation of his faith. He was totally cool about going and talking to a priest of his own volition about premarital sex. But not this. and it ended us.
So… that was fun.
Sometimes love just isn’t enough. Was a sad day when i learned that
Yes.
She liked Xanax & wine more than she liked me.
I saw no end in sight, but a future of drama.
Yup. Our future outlook on the relationship was incompatible and neither of us budged.
yes, the relationship turned miserable and was unfair on us both to continue it
I was headed towards dark times. It was inevitable and i actually walked away thinking i needed to, at the very least, spare her
Love is absolutely not the be all and end all in relationships. Big respect to everyone in the thread who has left people they have loved because they realised that the relationship or the person they were with wasn’t right for them. It can be incredibly hard to face the reality of situations when that reality is inevitably going to involve pain, potentially both for yourself and for people you love.
We lived an hour from each other, she had five kids from 6 to 15 which were all great and not the issue, but Her ex husband was an abusive maniac every way and she dealt with his a few times a week. She had a bad car wreck and was fired from her job during recovery, got real bad financially and I helped as much as I could. She turned me down to have her and kids come live with me and instead choose to move in with her ex. I broke it off and soon ghosted. The ex ended up terrorizing the kids and they are all fucked up now, he beat her and broke her arm. The judge dropped all charges against him.
Yes. I was taking a break from college to earn money for college. She did not go to college right after graduating HS. I loved her. She loved me. I broke up with her because I knew the girls in college who were dating someone long distance either cheated or had a different college experience. I enjoyed my years in college so much, I wanted that for her.
We remained “friends” then lost contact then found each other on FB. We message each other for a while, but not so much anymore. FYI, We are in our 50s.
She was too good for me, which I realized long before she did. Once I was aware of that, it felt pointless to continue a relationship. It was especially hard because things were going well, almost too perfect. I kept having the same intrusive thoughts, that if I let this go on too long, get too comfortable being in a relationship, I’d have a meltdown once it inevitably happens.
He didn’r want to spend all his hard earned $$ on rent and bills
She was 24 I was 32. We met at a bar and instantly hit it off. We had great physical chemistry. She was smart and accomplished for her age.
Initially, I didn’t expect it to turn into anything serious, but things did get serious. We dated for a few months and really enjoyed each other’s company. But I couldn’t shake the fact that she was 24 and has so much life to live.
Over time, it became obvious that we were at different stages of life— at least to me. I just couldn’t see a future for us.
I broke up with her. It was painful, but it was the right thing to do for both of us.
I still think about her, it’s been months since I’ve seen, or spoken to her. I’ve dated a few other girls since, and had a lot of fun, but it just wasn’t the same.
Yes. She deserved better. However, I wish that I would’ve done everything possible to be better. But I was young.
Yup, she cheated. I left the second I found out and never talked to her again. Doing much better now, but man those first few months were pretty rough. Definitely loved her but I respect myself far more